Author Topic: OTMA Poetry part 2  (Read 49572 times)

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Offline KatherineLK29

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Re: OTMA Poetry part 2
« Reply #150 on: July 12, 2016, 10:45:40 AM »
A very humble poem based on the Romanov Murders in 1918:

The moon is heavy
The woods are dark
It's time to rest now
The diggings stopped.

You dread the dark
It's terror quickens
A flash of moon
Highlights Crimson stains
Jewels glisten and pearls gleam
A fortune amassed in blood mire.

A pit your tomb -
Cold and dark
No sweet spices to linger here.
Though you thank Holy God,
You are not alone.

Dawn in rising and the shovels return
To enclose your face from the world.
One last glimpse of your homeland
Before you rush through Heaven's gates.

Now you rest forever in Heaven,
Your soul alight
Though your body may be broken -
In a wooden coffin
Your memory is never forgotten.

(Please let me know what you all think, as I never usually let anyone else see my poetry. It's not very good, in my opinion.)

Thank you.


Offline TimM

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Re: OTMA Poetry part 2
« Reply #151 on: July 13, 2016, 07:01:41 AM »
It is a good poem. 

Fitting that you posted it now, since we're only a few days away from July 17th, when that awful crime happened.
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Offline KatherineLK29

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Re: OTMA Poetry part 2
« Reply #152 on: July 13, 2016, 04:17:22 PM »
Thank you very much, Mr. Tim! I'm glad to know that my poem is good.

Mine cannot compare to the other beautiful ones on this forum but I did try.

Thank you again.

Offline KatherineLK29

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Re: OTMA Poetry part 2
« Reply #153 on: July 16, 2016, 07:44:11 PM »
Another humble poem. In this one, I had in mind Grand Duchess Elizabeth and the Alapayevsk martyrs.

I wish I could write as good as some of the other talented writers on this forum but alas I'm not very good with putting my thoughts on paper.

Please tell me what you think.

I think the first stanza is good but the rest I think could be better.

"Amongst the sweet smoke
Lights flicker on dark walls
Halos in stark relief
Ageless eyes gaze solemnly
This is not the end.

No fear lingers
Only trust in the Lord
'Thy rod and staff comfort me'
Paradise awaits thee.

Forgive thine enemies, O Lord
They know not what they do,
I trust in You;
Bring me home to Paradise.

Light pierces the darkness,
Choirs greet thee
Angels uphold thy soul
This is the beginning."

Written on July 16, 2016



Offline TimM

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Re: OTMA Poetry part 2
« Reply #154 on: July 17, 2016, 04:51:29 AM »
This is a nice poem. 

I think you're a good writer.
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Offline Rodney_G.

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Re: OTMA Poetry part 2
« Reply #155 on: July 17, 2016, 11:14:09 PM »
One of your best, Katherine, especially the last stanza.
Rodney G.

Offline KatherineLK29

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Re: OTMA Poetry part 2
« Reply #156 on: July 18, 2016, 06:18:07 PM »
Thank you for your kind words! It's good to hear that my poetry is good.

Thank you.

Offline Превед

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Re: OTMA Poetry part 2
« Reply #157 on: September 08, 2016, 02:46:06 PM »
You ask for poetry?
Then I will not give you lyric abstractions!
Because they are lifeless.
Like the Romanovs. A dynasty. A concept.
Dead, buried, worn out, like their divine autocracy.
Instead I give you girls and a boy, women, men and a tsarʲ -
shivering under the weight
of a melting crown of ice.

Melting into a puddle of filthy slush
soon to be stained by drops of blood
krásnaya kommunist kommunion krovʲ
Killers, you people of killers, you killers of people.
You killers of a people.

This world is a material word.
Said material girl. Quoting Marx.
Look at the Word Game (Игра в слова)
which the irreverant bear started.
Nothing but nouns!
Concrete nouns.
To hold onto on the ice rink of the world.
Where the ballerinas skate.
Crashing into each other,
blinded by their obscure abstractions.

Edith Södergran sits ringside
petting a cat in her lap
and laughs her contemporary
grand duchesseses' Carelian
summer laugh,
like when Anastasia
no - isn't being mischievous
what an abstract aberration!
that's sooo Olga
but, when Tatiana isn't looking
throws a slimy frog at
Maria reading
Grimm's Le roi grenouille
for the lesson of monsieur Gilliard
secretly eyeing the handsome hockey hunks
on the frozen pond.
« Last Edit: September 08, 2016, 03:09:23 PM by Превед »
Берёзы севера мне милы,—
Их грустный, опущённый вид,
Как речь безмолвная могилы,
Горячку сердца холодит.

(Афанасий Фет: «Ивы и берёзы», 1843 / 1856)

Offline Lochlanach

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Re: OTMA Poetry part 2
« Reply #158 on: September 09, 2016, 06:05:49 AM »
Quote
Yeah, Katie, I doubt those murdering thugs gave a damn.  I hope they're enjoying  burning in Hell.
You said it, Tim. I certainly don't imagine them resting in paradise...



Quote
This was a nice one, Katie.  Of course, it included my favourite GD, Tatiana.
May I ask why she's your favorite? Just out of curiosity.

But isn't that what makes us better than them , that we are not motivated by vengeance and cruelty ? Even if there was a hell for them to go to, I wouldn't wish it upon them or anyone else for that matter . We have to deal out justice here and now , and even better ,try to prevent such crimes happening in the first place.

Offline Lochlanach

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Re: OTMA Poetry part 2
« Reply #159 on: September 09, 2016, 06:16:22 AM »
You ask for poetry?
Then I will not give you lyric abstractions!
Because they are lifeless.
Like the Romanovs. A dynasty. A concept.
Dead, buried, worn out, like their divine autocracy.
Instead I give you girls and a boy, women, men and a tsarʲ -
shivering under the weight
of a melting crown of ice.

Melting into a puddle of filthy slush
soon to be stained by drops of blood
krásnaya kommunist kommunion krovʲ
Killers, you people of killers, you killers of people.
You killers of a people.

This world is a material word.
Said material girl. Quoting Marx.
Look at the Word Game (Игра в слова)
which the irreverant bear started.
Nothing but nouns!
Concrete nouns.
To hold onto on the ice rink of the world.
Where the ballerinas skate.
Crashing into each other,
blinded by their obscure abstractions.

Edith Södergran sits ringside
petting a cat in her lap
and laughs her contemporary
grand duchesseses' Carelian
summer laugh,
like when Anastasia
no - isn't being mischievous
what an abstract aberration!
that's sooo Olga
but, when Tatiana isn't looking
throws a slimy frog at
Maria reading
Grimm's Le roi grenouille
for the lesson of monsieur Gilliard
secretly eyeing the handsome hockey hunks
on the frozen pond.

I really like that , particularly the first two verses  ;   honest , visceral , sad, devoid of notions of an afterlife. Well done.

Offline Превед

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Re: OTMA Poetry part 2
« Reply #160 on: September 09, 2016, 02:36:06 PM »
I really like that , particularly the first two verses  ;   honest , visceral , sad, devoid of notions of an afterlife. Well done.

Thank you! Interesting interpretation, but that is of course the poetry reader's privilege. My intention was just to throw out an offhanded piece of comment / advice to the aspiring poets who heap on religious and sentimental abstrations. Reminding them to show, don't tell, that good poetry is always concrete etc. As you can see I was inspired by teaching a lesson about dear, brilliant Edith Södergran the day before :-)

The Carelian Sappho on writing poetry:

Förhoppning

Jag vill vara ogenerad –
därför struntar jag i ädla stilar,
ärmarna kavlar jag upp.
Diktens deg jäser…
O en sorg –
att ej kunna baka katedraler…
Formernas höghet –
trägna längtans mål.
Nutidens barn –
har din ande ej sitt rätta skal?
Innan jag dör
bakar jag en katedral.


(From "Septemberlyran", 1918.)
=
Hope

I want to let go -
so I don't give a damn about fine writing,
I'm rolling my sleeves up.
The dough's rising...
Oh what a shame
I can't bake cathedrals...
that sublimity of style
I've always yearned for...
Child of our time -
haven't you found the right shell for your soul?

Before I die I shall
bake a cathedral.

Translation by AllPoetry, from https://allpoetry.com/poem/8536597-Hope-by-Edith-Sodergran
« Last Edit: September 09, 2016, 02:44:13 PM by Превед »
Берёзы севера мне милы,—
Их грустный, опущённый вид,
Как речь безмолвная могилы,
Горячку сердца холодит.

(Афанасий Фет: «Ивы и берёзы», 1843 / 1856)

Offline TimM

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Re: OTMA Poetry part 2
« Reply #161 on: January 12, 2019, 12:06:37 AM »
What lovely poems.
Cats: You just gotta love them!