Helen, I find myself agreeing completely with your thoughts about Anne. She tends to be a favourite among the wives, beating Catherine of Aragon by a surprising margin, and among our Six Wives Club, I was Anne.
My thoughts are these: Anne's choice was Harry Percy, and he wanted her. I tend to think they were at least lovers, if not pre-contracted somehow, which is what Harry Percy meant about 'having gone too far before too many honourable witnesses, that he knew not how to withdraw himself'. The king, Wolsey, and Daddy the Earl put their collective feet down, Percy was whisked away, and Anne sent off to Hever. She probably held one bloody huge grudge, especially when Percy was married off to Mary Talbot.
Then, Henry starts making his moves. I agree that Anne was basically trying to get him angry enough to leave her alone, but not angry enough to retaliate against her family. This just enthralled him, and Anne realised she wasn't going to get out of it that easily. Then, she says she won't be his mistress, only his wife, thinking that's never going to happen, or that she refuses to just be cast aside like her sister, that if she's going to have to sleep with Henry, she's going to look out for her future children, and making him marry her is the best way.
Finally, in 1532, matters hit the boiling point with the Calais trip. Anne gives in and gets pregnant sometime in December. At that point, her only out is gone. She can't claim a pre-contract with Percy, despite Mary Talbot claiming one to get out of her marriage, so Anne says there are no impediments, and Henry rushes the divorce along to marry Anne in secret on or around 25 January 1533. The marriage is kept secret for a few months, until Anne comes out with her famous 'apples' comments, and until Easter, when for the first time, congregations are told to pray for 'Queen Anne'. Now, as long as she bears a son, she's safe.
7 September 1533. Elizabeth is born, and Henry is suprisingly not upset. He shows her off proudly, says that they'll have sons eventually, and saves face. Then, the miscarriages begin, but as long as Catherine of Aragon is alive, Henry can't get rid of Anne. January of 1536 is really when the end comes, because in addition to Catherine's death, Anne has her last miscarriage, claimed to have been a boy. Also, Jane Seymour has entered the scene. Anne is arrested in the beginning of May, and executed on 19 May. Henry and Jane are betrothed the next day and married on 30 May.
I don't think the only reason Henry executed Anne was because she failed to bear a son. I think it was also because Anne was her own person, and he didn't 'own' her. He had never really conquered her, and he couldn't stand for that. He had to be the master, she had to be completely dominated by him, and she wasn't. For that, in Henry's eyes, she deserved to die.
Arianwen as Anne Boleyn