Imperial Claimants Part .......6

99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer
Take one down, pass it around,
98 bottles of beer on the wall.

Please, just don't go into the negatives as Tsar Doug did back here when he heard you singing that song. And it is rather lonely with the few who stayed behind, so hurry up and see the world etc etc and then come home.

Attention all police:

If anyone sees that bus please string some colorful crepe paper across the road and stop these ladies from any further damage with this Road Trip to Hades.

Tsar Doug.........Rex and I are enjoying an early springtime here at Tsarskoe.

PS:  Why not return home ladies, while the moon is in June and all that sort of thing

[he]

Which Tsarskoe is he at? It's 20 below; if you want cold weather don't bother going to Siberia, just have tea here.

Well h-e-double-toothpicks, we're jes' fine'n'dandy, warm'n'cosy 'n' okie-dokie here in the Borzoi Bus, Special "Siberia or Bust" Edition, yeeeeeeeeeeeeee haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Now for a Willie Nelson tune, and first one to stop singing is a rotten sturgeon!

On the road again
Just can't wait to get on the road again
The life I love is makin' music with my friends
And I can't wait to get on the road again
On the road again
Goin' places that I've never been
Seein' things that I may never see again,
And I can't wait to get on the road again.

On the road again
Like a band of gypsies we go down the highway
We're the best of friends (Oh yeah!)  
Insisting that the world be turnin' our way
And our way
Is on the road again
Just can't wait to get on the road again
The life I love is makin' music with my friends
And I can't wait to get on the road again

On the road again
Like a band of gypsies we go down the highway
We're the best of friends
Insisting that the world be turnin' our way
And our way
Is on the road again

Just can't wait to get on the road again
The life I love is makin' music with my friends
And I can't wait to get on the road again
And I can't wait to get on the road again

An' by golly, darlins', this tundra is jes' endless, so I'm a-gonna put this here lit'l bus on automatic pilot and y'all jes' let me know when we arrive in Vladivostok, y'hear?

This is what happens........you teach them the minuet and all they want to do is stomp around in cow pastures and sing old cowboy songs.

Tsar Doug.......longing for the quiet days of home on the range.......

Dear Tsar Doug,

This whole bus trip is a giant cow pat.

This morning GD Janet insisted we all eat beef jerky for breakfast. Please tell the two GDs left back at Tsarkoe in your charge that there are many life lessons to be learned from GDs who choose the Common Path of life: crooked teeth, snack food substituting for the silver salvers of Imperial Life, and chewing gum stuck on the bottom of the seat of your chosen form of transport. One also must cope with carrying one's own luggage. (Except of course GD Anna, who in all situations somehow manages to manage someone else into carrying her luggage whilst she coos and waves to her adoring fans behind those sunglasses.)

When and if we ever get home, as GD Janet AKA Billy Bobette has breezed through about 20 road blocks of red crepe paper (who ordered that?) I swear with God as my witness that I will never set foot on another vehicle of public transportation for the rest of my life. It will be either the limo, the Imperial Claimant train, the Imperial Private Jet Fleet, the Imperial Claimant Helo, or my own M.B. footwear. Period. You get my drift...

Desperate to go back to being a Tsarkoe Selo Housewife...of the Imperial Claimant Variety...

Caio for now, GD Melissa and the dear doggies (bow wow, please take us home mommy bow wow)

P.S. I forgot to include the Imperial Flying Saucer in my lsit of preferred transportation...anything at this point would be a welcome change from Redneckette Captivity.

P.S. I forgot to include the Imperial Flying Saucer in my lsit of preferred transportation...anything at this point would be a welcome change from Redneckette Captivity.

You must come with the dear doggies for a tour...
think of a luxury liner floating in the sky rather than the ocean, state rooms, ball rooms, all the frills. I have no idea what makes people think I float around on a bicycle! I am neither ET nor Elvira Gulch  

I can see it now..."The Titanic of the Sky"...except people wouldn't be very inclined to travel on it, would they?

Dearie Ritka,

GD Janet is now chewing on a toothpick when she is not smoking cigars. Where will all this end? A girl born to the purple, or at least the lavender, taking up steerage class habits...if dear Matron at our Imperial Young Ladies' Boarding School saw the toothpick thing, she would twirl in her grave...she always said that GD Janet would be the death of her! (Our girlish pranks did try her patience. Unlike Nanny McPhee, she did not become more comely as our behavior improved...)

Please always remember to stand up straight, brush and floss each and every day, never go to sleep without cleansing your face thoroughly, and if really desperate, do consider transport by Imperial Flying Saucer...

Caio for now, GD Melissa and the dear doggies

P.S. No, we do NOT ride western saddle. We ride English sidesaddle, thank you very much.

Yahooooooo! Only 65 more versts until we reach the humble a-bode of T.D.'s former main squeeze. Hold on a-tight, passengers, I'm a-gunnin' the engine!

GD/GP, Yer Humble Busdriver
"Toothpicks Accepted As Gratuities"

Dearie Ritka,

GD Janet is now chewing on a toothpick when she is not smoking cigars. Where will all this end? A girl born to the purple, or at least the lavender, taking up steerage class habits...if dear Matron at our Imperial Young Ladies' Boarding School saw the toothpick thing, she would twirl in her grave...she always said that GD Janet would be the death of her! (Our girlish pranks did try her patience. Unlike Nanny McPhee, she did not become more comely as our behavior improved...)

Please always remember to stand up straight, brush and floss each and every day, never go to sleep without cleansing your face thoroughly, and if really desperate, do consider transport by Imperial Flying Saucer...

Caio for now, GD Melissa and the dear doggies

P.S. No, we do NOT ride western saddle. We ride English sidesaddle, thank you very much.

Of course. Who ever said anything about western saddle? You can ride English sidesaddle while wearing bling.

You said to never go to sleep without cleansing my face. However, I find it's easier to just wash my face at 6 am and again at 6 pm, since I haven't slept in three days due to Imperial homework. And Tsar Doug playing the trumpet in the next room. WHO on earth would give him such an instrument?

Edit: ooh look 2700 posts

 And Tsar Doug playing the trumpet in the next room. WHO on earth would give him such an instrument?

Moi!

First- I always know what he is doing and second- he can't eat cake.

Anna ....

*sigh* That's right, give him a trumpet then go on vacation, leaving the rest of Tsarskoe to listen to the "Apollo 13" theme song. (It seems to be the only one in his repertoire.)

I now play the Bossa Nova on my shiney new trumpet.  Next I am learning to play the bag pipes, then I may take up the harmonica.   My music complements our fantastic magic act with Rex and Leoline.  I hope GD Anna is available for the lion cage act now that I have the problems worked out.

I tried to put Rex in the cage the other day for practice with the lion but for some strange reason he up and ran out the door and was gone for a day.  We do miss our little maid that disappeared that awful day.

Tsar Doug.......eating cake and playing the high notes.....

PS:  Will a dear courtier please start a new thread........