Author Topic: Love matches in Victoria's family  (Read 58833 times)

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Offline eejm

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Re: Love matches in Victoria's family
« Reply #240 on: May 17, 2007, 08:48:30 PM »
I think for Beatrice, it was love at first sight.  ;)

I'd say that's a distinct possibility.  I think both Henry and Beatrice found benefit in marrying one another.  For Beatrice, she now had a partner in what could have otherwise been a very lonely life with her mother, and no family of her own to be with after QV died.  Henry also had a partner, a more certain future than his bloodline would have probably allowed, and a family he regarded with much love. 

Offline Eric_Lowe

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Re: Love matches in Victoria's family
« Reply #241 on: May 17, 2007, 09:02:08 PM »
Well...I will think that sort of culculation came more in Henry than Beatrice. One has to remember that Beatrice was quite shy and isolated from society. At her mother knee she was fed with stories (by QV) about how she fell for Albert. The impressionable youngster may have dreams of meeting her prince too. When Beatrice met Henry, her heart told her...this is it. That why she was able to get through her mother's objection to her marrying. In the end, both got what they wanted.  ;)

Offline eejm

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Re: Love matches in Victoria's family
« Reply #242 on: May 17, 2007, 10:28:13 PM »
Well...I will think that sort of culculation came more in Henry than Beatrice. One has to remember that Beatrice was quite shy and isolated from society. At her mother knee she was fed with stories (by QV) about how she fell for Albert. The impressionable youngster may have dreams of meeting her prince too. When Beatrice met Henry, her heart told her...this is it. That why she was able to get through her mother's objection to her marrying. In the end, both got what they wanted.  ;)

I think there were actually a lot of similarities in the relationships of Victoria & Albert and Beatrice & Henry.  In both cases, a handsome minor German prince made a very big impression on a sheltered woman who otherwise had few companions her age.  There is some evidence that Victoria and Beatrice were more "in love," or at least more infatuated with their bridegrooms than the opposite.  In both cases, the prince was also "marrying up" so to speak, although V&A's marriage was much more equal than B&H's. 

Albert at first had little to do as Victoria's consort, though he did do a great job of creating a purpose for himself.  Henry was also quite bored in his new life, and eventually sought to fight in the Ashanti War for lack of anything more interesting to do.  This ended up being Henry's downfall, as he contracted malaria in Africa.  Albert, on the other hand, worked himself into a weakened state and also died young.  Victoria and Beatrice were both left young widows with small children, though Beatrice seemed to adjust to her widowhood better than her mother. 

I'd say there was a good possibility that Beatrice was romanced a bit by her parents' story, and sought to create a similar situation for herself. 

Offline Eric_Lowe

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Re: Love matches in Victoria's family
« Reply #243 on: May 17, 2007, 10:35:47 PM »
Yes...That is exactly what I thought.

Agree to about the similarity of the cases of Henry & Albert. However Chriistian (Helena's husband) did not seem to be as restless as Henry & Albert. Maybe because he was much older ?  ???

Offline grandduchessella

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Re: Love matches in Victoria's family
« Reply #244 on: May 18, 2007, 12:37:01 AM »
I think for Beatrice, it was love at first sight.  ;)

I'd say that's a distinct possibility.  I think both Henry and Beatrice found benefit in marrying one another.  For Beatrice, she now had a partner in what could have otherwise been a very lonely life with her mother, and no family of her own to be with after QV died.  Henry also had a partner, a more certain future than his bloodline would have probably allowed, and a family he regarded with much love. 

I always wondered about their marriage and am disappointed to hear that the new book doesn't shed much light on it. It's a shame that Henry was able to get a chance to contribute in a meaningful way and it cost him his life. Had he been denied, it might have caused bitterness at the time, but QV would only live a few more years. Who knows how the marriage might have evolved had they had a chance to carve out a real life together without living under the thumb of Victoria.
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Offline Eric_Lowe

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Re: Love matches in Victoria's family
« Reply #245 on: May 18, 2007, 04:56:21 AM »
Indeed ! Life is sometimes unfair.  :(

Offline Keith

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Re: Love matches in Victoria's family
« Reply #246 on: May 18, 2007, 05:24:09 AM »
Then again, the new bio on Beatrice (which I've only read snippets of), said that given the chance she could talk about almost anything - it's just that her mother kept nearly every topic taboo.[/quote]

I hadn't thought about that. If I remember correctly in Nina Epton's bio on QV's daughters she mentions talking to Alice Athlone and how Alice said that none of the Aunt's (QV's daughters) could keep quiet.

I've never heard anything, but I wonder how much if any Victoria and Louis Battenberg may have played in getting them together. Victoria would have known what subjects would have interested her Aunt and given Henry the topics to break through Beatrice's shyness.

Offline eejm

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Re: Love matches in Victoria's family
« Reply #247 on: May 18, 2007, 05:18:43 PM »
Then again, the new bio on Beatrice (which I've only read snippets of), said that given the chance she could talk about almost anything - it's just that her mother kept nearly every topic taboo.

I hadn't thought about that. If I remember correctly in Nina Epton's bio on QV's daughters she mentions talking to Alice Athlone and how Alice said that none of the Aunt's (QV's daughters) could keep quiet.

I've never heard anything, but I wonder how much if any Victoria and Louis Battenberg may have played in getting them together. Victoria would have known what subjects would have interested her Aunt and given Henry the topics to break through Beatrice's shyness.

Did all or much of the family (besides QV) know in Darmstadt that Henry and Beatrice had become close?  And does anyone know if the two exchanged letters from the time they met until their engagement - i.e., during the time that Beatrice and QV weren't speaking to one another?

Offline Duke of New Jersey

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Re: Love matches in Victoria's family
« Reply #248 on: May 18, 2007, 10:20:10 PM »
Didn't they meet at Victoria (VMH) and Louis' wedding in 1884?  And didn't Queen Victoria not talk to Beatrice for seven months? 

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Offline grandduchessella

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Re: Love matches in Victoria's family
« Reply #249 on: May 18, 2007, 11:34:12 PM »
Yes and yes (though I'm not sure exactly how long it went on). Beatrice didn't tell her mother straight away of her desire to marry Henry since QV was still in a state of Grand Duke Louis's remarriage (and hasty annulment) to Madame Kolemine. QV was coming around to the idea of the marriage (providing Henry met her demands) by Nov 1884, the meeting having taken place in April. That's 7 months right there and there was a large gap between the wedding and when Beatrice sprung the news.
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Offline Eddie_uk

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Re: Love matches in Victoria's family
« Reply #250 on: May 19, 2007, 03:08:19 AM »
I would love to have been present when Beatrice broke the news to her mother!! Imagine QV's face! ;)
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Offline basilforever

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Re: Love matches in Victoria's family
« Reply #251 on: May 19, 2007, 04:37:35 PM »
Yes...However I pretty much doubt that the marriage of Helena & Christian was a love match (unlike Vicky's & Alice's). It was an arranged marriage that worked. I beleve that they became genuinely fond of each other, but I don't think the affection existed BEFORE the marriage.  :(

Well Helena and Christian must have had some affection for each other before the marriage, or else they wouldn't have agreed to marry each other. I don't know what the attraction to him was, he must have been charming in some way/s, as he wasn't very handsome and he was quite old.
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Offline Keith

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Re: Love matches in Victoria's family
« Reply #252 on: May 19, 2007, 06:37:09 PM »


and he was quite old.
[/quote]

35!  I had better run out and see if my cemetery has any plots available!

I think you mean in reference to Helena's age. The fact that he was prematurely aged made it seem even greater than the 15 year difference. But I think in those days that wasn't really all that unusual. Their age difference was the biggest, but Fritz/Vicky 9 years, Louis/Alice 6 years, Affie/Marie 9 years, Bertie/Alix and Lorne/Louise only 3 years, Arthur/Louise 10 years, Leo/Helen 8 years, and Beatrice not only got her love, but he was 1 1/2 years younger.

I think w/Helena and Christian it may have been more affection on her part, as he may have saw it as a step up and possibly something to do. But 51 years, so they must have done something right.

Offline Duke of New Jersey

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Re: Love matches in Victoria's family
« Reply #253 on: May 19, 2007, 06:42:40 PM »
Quote
But 51 years, so they must have done something right.

Yes, Helena was the only one of Queen Victoria's children to be married for 50 years.   It was so special the Kaiser Wilhem sent a message during the height of the war. 

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Offline grandduchessella

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Re: Love matches in Victoria's family
« Reply #254 on: May 19, 2007, 06:55:15 PM »
Yes...However I pretty much doubt that the marriage of Helena & Christian was a love match (unlike Vicky's & Alice's). It was an arranged marriage that worked. I beleve that they became genuinely fond of each other, but I don't think the affection existed BEFORE the marriage.  :(

Well Helena and Christian must have had some affection for each other before the marriage, or else they wouldn't have agreed to marry each other. I don't know what the attraction to him was, he must have been charming in some way/s, as he wasn't very handsome and he was quite old.

Christian had been put forth by Vicky & Fritz who were great friends with his brother (Dona's father) Frederick. Alice was against the marriage because a) she thought QV was being selfish in arranging a marriage that would suit her and b) realized, unlike Vicky, that Bismarck would take it as insult given the Schleswig-Holstein affair. She did relent when she met Christian and heard from her sister she wasn't being forced into anything. Alexandra was outraged because Frederick was the claimant to the Duchies against her father and, at first, refused to attend the wedding if it happened.

One of Helena's closest friends, Louisa Knightley, talked shortly before she married and write in her diary that Helena spoke 'in simplest and most natural way of her affection for Prince Christian'. Louisa's view of Christian was that he was 'pre-eminently sensible--the very thing for her generous, impetuous nature--and he is extremely kind-hearted, and most universally liked' and that he had a 'a manly presence and an open face, younger and better-looking than his photos lead one to expect'. Helena herself wrote to Lady Augusta Stanley that she was 'intensely happy...he is noble, generous, loving and such tact and discretion, never shrinking from saying what he thinks fit...'.
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