It's always been my belief, formed from reading numerous accounts of both women, that Alix and Ducky probably shared many of the same character traits, even if they, if they could , would undoubtedly disagree. They were both fairly stubborn and uncompromising women. Both were capable of igniting deep loyalty among their closest loved ones. Both were very conscious of their respective positions. Both could be quite supercilious. By the same token, both could be quite generous. (And both were beautiful, in my opinion, but that is neither here nor there). Neither one was a saint, and both were often misunderstood by others. Most of all, they seemed to not understand each other at all.
Ducky was not successful as Grand Duchess of Hesse. Being prodded into an unwanted marriage clearly caused her to chafe against the restrictions imposed on her. She and Ernst Ludwig simply were not compatible. I think it took a great deal of courage, on both of their parts, to accept that fact and decide upon divorce at a time when divorce was supremely scandalous and nearly unheard of among royalty. Compounding that undoubtedly difficult decision was the presence of their child.
I suppose that one might be able to argue that Ducky's actions simply show that she was more selfish than Alix, etc. On the other hand, one can say that she was willing to grasp for happiness. I know I don't find the post-Revolution, imperial pretensions of Ducky and Kirill very attractive; however, life in exile must have been harrowing in many ways.