Alexander Palace Forum

Discussions about the Imperial Family and European Royalty => Having Fun! => Topic started by: Elisabeth on October 09, 2011, 05:33:49 AM

Title: Bad Movies I Have Seen
Post by: Elisabeth on October 09, 2011, 05:33:49 AM
Well as usual I can't sleep... so I'm watching this dreadful movie from 1979 (the 1970s were an especially good decade for awful movies), The Rose, starring Bette Midler as some senile aging Janis Joplin-style rock singer, without any of Joplin's talent of course, much less her genius. Normally I like Midler but in this film she overacts to such an extent you wonder if the director was on a coffee break through the whole thing.

I also finally saw Black Swan recently, on cable TV (I never get to the movie theater these days, and what's the point anyway, when you're just annoyed by people talking and eating popcorn noisily). I don't understand why this movie was so incredibly popular. Did the media just make up this popularity or what? Okay, so granted, Natalie Portman is brilliant in the role, it's her very best role since her child star turn in The Professional (which, by the way, is a far superior film to Black Swan). And she's gorgeous. And the ballet dancing is better incorporated into the script, and better filmed, than any other so-called ballet movie I've ever seen (better even than The Turning Point with Mikhail Baryshnikov and Lesley Browne). I especially loved the ever-charismatic Mila Kunis in her role as the "bad" girl, Lily, the satanic rival ballerina who keeps tempting Natalie's character to stray from the straight and narrow nun-like existence of the dedicated dancer.

However, for all the kudos I'm giving it, frankly speaking this film makes no sense to me whatsoever. Natalie/Nina's spiral into madness is completely incomprehensible -- what does she suffer from, paranoid schizophrenia? But are the symptoms she manifests really those of schizophrenia? They just seem totally random to me. Worse yet -- the ending of the film, which explains nothing and in fact only confuses matters further. Here Natalie/Nina is bleeding to death after having danced the last two acts of "Swan Lake" with a fatal stomach wound. Did the filmmakers just not realize that ballet is a strenuous activity, and that anybody bleeding to death, however gradually, couldn't make it through a few pliés, much less 32 fouettés en tournant, as the Black Swan has to do in Act III of "Swan Lake"? Forgive me, but I found all of this more than a little ridiculous.

Anyway, I thought we could all share our thoughts on "Bad Movies We Have Seen."
Title: Re: Bad Movies I Have Seen
Post by: Olga Bernice on October 11, 2011, 08:49:25 PM
Well, this isn't a bad movie, but it is rather unusual. It's called Beach Blanket Bingo - one of those Frankie Avalon 1960's beach movies - and it is HIL-ARI-OUS!!!!!!! Has anybody else ever seen it? It is the perfect movie to watch (guess where?) at the beach with a cold cup of Coke at night.  :)
Title: Re: Bad Movies I Have Seen
Post by: TimM on October 15, 2011, 06:02:08 PM
Solaris with George Cloony.  Slow, dull, and plodding.  Two and a half hours of my life I'll never see again.
Title: Re: Bad Movies I Have Seen
Post by: Elisabeth on October 16, 2011, 11:09:19 AM
Solaris with George Cloony.  Slow, dull, and plodding.  Two and a half hours of my life I'll never see again.

George Clooney's Solaris isn't the worst movie in the world, although granted, the much earlier Soviet production is far superior, in fact a classic.

Speaking of science fiction, though, I think some of the best "good" bad movies (the movies we can watch over and over again, because they're so bad they're good) have to do with aliens and space exploration or invasion or some other doomsday scenario, such as Independence Day and The Day After.

Not to mention all those great bad 1970s disaster movies like The Poseidon Adventure and Towering Inferno. Marvelous.
Title: Re: Bad Movies I Have Seen
Post by: Kimberly on October 21, 2011, 10:38:06 AM
Oh my. Its got to be Eraserhead, David Lynch's first film. Very much a "cult" surrealist film, and apparently deemed "culturally, historically or aesthetically significant". Well, its the biggest load of carp I've ever seen and I've seen plenty of carp in my time........
Title: Re: Bad Movies I Have Seen
Post by: TimM on October 21, 2011, 11:28:20 AM
The 2005 remake of The Fog sucked big time. The F/X were improved, yes, but the story was vastly inferior to the original.

The pointless love triangle between Nick, Stevie, and Elizabeth added nothing to the plot. Why bring it in? Notice how young the cast of the remake was. It was like the Fog rolled into Dawson's Creek.

Tom Welling just phoned it in. Looks like he was in a hurry to get back to the set of Smallville.

Why did they turn Father Malone into a clone of Crazy Ralph (the nutty guy from the first two Friday the 13th movies that went around saying "You're all doomed")? In the original movie, the character was much more believable.

In the original Fog, the ghosts only want to kill six people, because that is the same number of conspirators that arranged to sink their ship a century earlier. It made sense. In the remake, the ghosts basically go apesh*t and wipe out half the town for no apparent reason.

The token black guy. Why was he there? He added nothing to the story.

Don't even get me started on the end where Elizabeth TURNS INTO GHOST, and takes off with Blake and the other ghosts. WTF!?

If you want to see a good version of The Fog, buy or rent the 1980 original. The 2005 turkey is just not worth it.

Title: Re: Bad Movies I Have Seen
Post by: Rodney_G. on October 22, 2011, 02:16:23 PM
Are we talking movies that are more or less expected to be good and weren't , or those that were just cranked out and turn out to be so terrible that they're actually funny-good, that is, true howlers?
When I was in college many years ago, there was a late-night movie time slot  called Fright Theater that ran old b-movie horror and sci-fi "classics" that were so awful-good that they provided us liberal arts major guys some of the best yuks we could ever hope to have. We'd turn out the lights , settle in, and watch some world historically awful d-movie gems whose dialogue even the dimmest college freshmen could outdo and whose costumes  my brothers and I could have created on a bad Halloween and whose "special effects " amounted to a wobbly pie tin skimmed through the air to "be" a flying saucer. One memorable line: "But , professor, how can we destroy these alien invaders?"  Professor: "science, my boy, science." I kid you not. We were howling .
I even saw "Plan 9 From Outer Space" , rightly considered  the bestworst sci- fi flick of all-time, a gem with a budget of a school teacher's salary (and it showed.

On the other hand, "Fright Theater" was hosted by Elvira, whose suggestive double entendres, and cleavage,  were always a sure attention grabber for college aged guys.

Of the conventionally bad movies, I'd have to say "Youngblood Hawke"  was the worst. It starred a young  and handsome Richard Chamberlain,soon to be Dr Kildare on TV, and was the only movie I ever walked out of. Excruciating.
Title: Re: Bad Movies I Have Seen
Post by: Rodney_G. on October 22, 2011, 02:43:35 PM
Well, this isn't a bad movie, but it is rather unusual. It's called Beach Blanket Bingo - one of those Frankie Avalon 1960's beach movies - and it is HIL-ARI-OUS!!!!!!! Has anybody else ever seen it? It is the perfect movie to watch (guess where?) at the beach with a cold cup of Coke at night.  :)
Sure I saw it and it WAS funny !! The teenagers all looked to be about 32 and for some reason were interacting with "adults" with whom they were great friends. Was this one of the Beach Blanket films that featured a "Moondoggie"? , some lameass attempt by the straight adult world to portray  a hipster, someone cool to whom those wild and wacky teens could relate in their teen angst? I think this BBB series introduced Wolfman Jack, west coast DJ , and soon to be nationally semi-famous as a liaison beween misunderstood teens and their clueless parents.

ps.  Olga Bernice, where do you find beachfront  movie theaters  these days? Or even then?
Title: Re: Bad Movies I Have Seen
Post by: Olga Bernice on October 22, 2011, 05:33:46 PM
Rodney, I honestly do not know. On our annual beach trip, all my extended family gets together for a week, and my aunts have just always had them. I would guess Amazon might have it (but I haven't looked it up), and maybe a DVD store somewhere . . . I'm not helping, am I?
Title: Re: Bad Movies I Have Seen
Post by: TimM on October 22, 2011, 06:03:08 PM
Quote
The teenagers all looked to be about 32


There is one movie from the 50's, Earth VS The Spider (about a giant spider that goes on a rampage, and it's just that, no explanation is given to why it's so big).   Anyway, the "teenagers" in this movie look like their in their mid-40's!  It was so silly.
Title: Re: Bad Movies I Have Seen
Post by: Robert_Hall on October 22, 2011, 06:20:56 PM
I liked Avalon/Funicello but those Beach movies were pure camp, and not very good  camp at that.
 The Blob, anyone ?
Title: Re: Bad Movies I Have Seen
Post by: bonbon823 on October 23, 2011, 01:46:57 AM
I just get such a kick out of those old Hollywood westerns where they'd use a famous actor/actress as an indian.  Too hilarious!
Title: Re: Bad Movies I Have Seen
Post by: Talya on October 24, 2011, 12:00:46 AM
Not really a movie, but the old soap Dark Shadows just makes me laugh everytime. Also, the second and third Matrix movies really let me down. I mean, the fight scene on top of the semi trucks was pretty cool, but it went down the drain after that. My mother adores movies, so let me go see what I can find in there. ;D
Title: Re: Bad Movies I Have Seen
Post by: Robert_Hall on October 24, 2011, 01:05:13 AM
At least The Blob introduced Steve McQueen. It's only saving grace. All those 50's-early 60's sci-fis were trash but now  just too campy for words.
Title: Re: Bad Movies I Have Seen
Post by: Kalafrana on October 24, 2011, 08:18:54 AM
Can I put Braveheart down as a terrible film on the basis of its historical inaccuracy?

Ann
Title: Re: Bad Movies I Have Seen
Post by: bestfriendsgirl on October 24, 2011, 12:45:23 PM
At least The Blob introduced Steve McQueen. It's only saving grace. All those 50's-early 60's sci-fis were trash but now  just too campy for words.

I watched that not too long ago with my husband. He told me Steve McQueen could have taken a percentage of the profits, but didn't think much of the movie and chose to take a salary and regretted it later on.
Title: Re: Bad Movies I Have Seen
Post by: bestfriendsgirl on October 24, 2011, 12:50:31 PM
Quote
I'm watching this dreadful movie from 1979 (the 1970s were an especially good decade for awful movies), The Rose, starring Bette Midler as some senile aging Janis Joplin-style rock singer, without any of Joplin's talent of course, much less her genius. Normally I like Midler but in this film she overacts to such an extent you wonder if the director was on a coffee break through the whole thing.

I don't know how old you are, but, well ... it was the '70s. You kind of had to be there.
Title: Re: Bad Movies I Have Seen
Post by: Robert_Hall on October 24, 2011, 01:35:27 PM
Ditto, BFG.
 You really did have to be there.
Title: Re: Bad Movies I Have Seen
Post by: Rodney_G. on October 24, 2011, 05:37:51 PM
At least The Blob introduced Steve McQueen. It's only saving grace. All those 50's-early 60's sci-fis were trash but now  just too campy for words.
I saw The Blob too. It wasn't good, but it was better than most of that period. Plus, it had a semi-catchy theme song: "Beware of the Blob, it creeps, it crawls, all across the walls."   Pretty bad, it's true. And I guess Steve McQueen can be glad that  maybe more directors and producers saw The Blob than original movie-goers. I exaggerate, but not by much.
Title: Re: Bad Movies I Have Seen
Post by: Robert_Hall on October 24, 2011, 05:48:00 PM
And, I Was A Teenage Werewolf gave  Michael Landon his start. Later of Bonanza & Prairie fame.
Title: Re: Bad Movies I Have Seen
Post by: Rodney_G. on October 24, 2011, 05:54:43 PM
And, I Was A Teenage Werewolf gave  Michael Landon his start. Later of Bonanza & Prairie fame.

And James Arness ( Marshall Matt Dillon of Gunsmoke fame) was , though you never saw its face (if it had a face) "The Thing". As we're noting here , I guess an aspiring actor has to start somewhere.
Title: Re: Bad Movies I Have Seen
Post by: Robert_Hall on October 24, 2011, 06:05:38 PM
Same as the beach movies, perhaps ?
Title: Re: Bad Movies I Have Seen
Post by: Rodney_G. on October 24, 2011, 06:20:41 PM
Although unknown would-be thespians do need a break to start, I see the beach blanket/ bunny genre as different, insofar as those movies had a more distinct target audience (though in fact it was vast , namely the teenage generation of the time) ,and more to the point ,they were an effort by Walt Disney to promote , and profit from, two already prominent young actors, namely Frankie and Annette. In fact they ( the BB movies ) were a form of star vehicle. Uncle Walt had a pretty surefire thing with two teen idols. The rest of the cast were rightly an afterthought.
Title: Re: Bad Movies I Have Seen
Post by: TimM on July 28, 2012, 05:50:54 PM
Someone needs to tell the Syfy Channel to STOP making movies.

Well, they did it again a few weeks ago when they showed a movie called "Bigfoot".

Oh..............my.............God!!

I don't know where to begin, as usual we have the horrible CGI monster. Bigfoot, in this movie, is apparently twenty feet tall (most accounts put Bigfoot at eight or nine feet, tops)! No no apparent reason, Bigfoot decides to go on a rampage and proceeds to stomp any human he sees flat, or pick them up and bite their heads off (Bigfoot, by all accounts, is harmless, and is more likely to run from humans than attack them). As I said, no reason is given why Bigfoot suddenly decides to go rogue and start killing people, it just happens.

And the continuity, in some shots, the ground is covered with snow, while in others, it's bare!

As for the stars, we get a bunch of has-beens from the 70's. Danny Bonaduci, Barry Williams, and Howard Hessman among them. Geez, guys, did you need the money THAT badly?

If I were the real Bigfoot, I'd get a lawyer and sue the SyFy Channel for defamation of character!
Title: Re: Bad Movies I Have Seen
Post by: Robert_Hall on July 28, 2012, 06:14:29 PM
As usual, Tim, you are rspot on when it comes to movies. Bigfoot sounds down right dreadful.
 Here, at night, I often fall asleep to horrid  B- budget films.  So much trash, a waste of money and resources. One, a few nights ago on Encore was a teen  slasher flick. Even the kids in it looked liked they were really stoned and having more derision of their film that the public would. Who pays and sells this crap? I have seen better porn, marginally, I admit, but at least production values were better.
 A new [not porn]  coming up is a  remake of DUNE.  After all the others, I would be curious how this one goes.
Title: Re: Bad Movies I Have Seen
Post by: blessOTMA on July 29, 2012, 02:10:17 AM
If I were the real Bigfoot, I'd get a lawyer and sue the SyFy Channel for defamation of character!
LOL
Title: Re: Bad Movies I Have Seen
Post by: edubs31 on July 29, 2012, 09:27:01 AM
If I were the real Bigfoot, I'd get a lawyer and sue the SyFy Channel for defamation of character!
LOL


Yeah that was funny and well said Tim!

Speaking of NOT bad movies I've seen recently, "Dark Knight Rises" last night. Excellent! In my opinion at least. Not sure I like it better than its predecessor but in some ways I give the filmmakers more credit here with coming up with something so compelling. The second film in a trilogy always has it easier because you can really just let it rip. The first film has to introduce characters and storylines, the last film has to tie it all together.

SEMI-SPOILER ALERT: I couldn't help watch the main villain Bane and his takeover of Gotham, the corrupt courts, and band of mercenaries and think of Lenin, Russia 1917/18, and the revolutionaries. This wouldn't be the first movie to draw such a parallel, consciously or not...but I'd have to think it crossed the mind of Christopher Nolan and the filmmakers.
Title: Re: Bad Movies I Have Seen
Post by: rosieposie on July 30, 2012, 12:47:07 AM
I normally love movies, I was looking forward to see Sucker Punch, it was on cable and I liked the costumes, the storyline etc but I found myself bored.  Is it normal to be bored during a movie?   
Title: Re: Bad Movies I Have Seen
Post by: TimM on July 30, 2012, 07:16:58 PM
Quote
Is it normal to be bored during a movie?
   

If it's not as good as you had hoped it would be, then yes.  That's happened to me a few times, a movie looks good in previews, then I see the whole thing, total snorefest.
Title: Re: Bad Movies I Have Seen
Post by: TimM on January 18, 2013, 03:57:26 PM
The Island (1980) I consider a bad movie.  In this movie, a reporter (played by Michael Caine) while investigating why so many boat have vanished in the Bahamas region over the years, discovers why.  On a remote island exists a 300 year old colony of pirates (the head pirate was played by David Warner).  The pirates attack boats that come near the island, taking all the supplies, and killing all adults.  Children are taken for breeding stock, to keep the line going (if not, the pirates would have become inbred and died out long ago).

The part I find unbelievable is when the pirates attack and take over a U.S. Coast Guard ship.  I'm sorry, but I'm not buying it.  I can buy the pirates taking over private craft full of vacationers or college kids, but a fully manned Coast Guard cruiser!?  No way, not happening.

This movie was based on a novel by Peter Benchley (the same guy that wrote Jaws).
Title: Re: Bad Movies I Have Seen
Post by: edubs31 on January 18, 2013, 08:48:11 PM
The Island, wow Tim that's a pull. Did you see it recently? I can't remember if I have or not but if it takes place in the Caribbean and Michael Caine is involved that makes sense. He made a point of accepting roles specifically so he could spend more time down there during that era. They even paid homage too, somewhat joking, in the "Dark Knight".

I think all of these movies we mention should be watched with a Mystery Science Theater 3000 opening, such as...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9AJVZuQuD6M
Title: Re: Bad Movies I Have Seen
Post by: TimM on January 20, 2013, 11:35:26 AM
Quote
The Island, wow Tim that's a pull. Did you see it recently?

I dug it up on YouTube a few weeks back.  I wanted to see if it was as bad as I remembered it.  It was.
Title: Re: Bad Movies I Have Seen
Post by: Lady Macduff on January 21, 2013, 10:12:48 PM
Hamlet 2. Steve Coogan plays a down and out drama teacher who hangs all his future hopes for his mainly-Hispanic drama club on a production of the sequel to Hamlet. Featuring Elisabeth Shue as Elisabeth Shue.
Title: Re: Bad Movies I Have Seen
Post by: Kalafrana on January 22, 2013, 03:32:47 AM
Can I suggest Braveheart as a prime example of historical tosh? Unfortunately, people believe this totally false version of the reality of the day.

Ann
Title: Re: Bad Movies I Have Seen
Post by: TimM on January 22, 2013, 04:54:33 AM
Yeah, that movie is not known for historical accuracy. 
Title: Re: Bad Movies I Have Seen
Post by: edubs31 on January 22, 2013, 08:15:52 AM
Can I suggest Braveheart as a prime example of historical tosh? Unfortunately, people believe this totally false version of the reality of the day.

Ann

Yes, but a "bad" movie Ann? That might be a stretch.
Title: Re: Bad Movies I Have Seen
Post by: Kalafrana on January 22, 2013, 08:44:29 AM
Depends what you mean by bad.

If Braveheart were simply enjoyable hokum I would have no particular problem. However, it has had a noticeable political effect in this country by promoting Scottish aspirations to independence on the basis of a myth.

Ann
Title: Re: Bad Movies I Have Seen
Post by: Rodney_G. on January 22, 2013, 12:58:35 PM
I must say I liked "Braveheart" . Whether I would have if I were English is another story.
Title: Re: Bad Movies I Have Seen
Post by: edubs31 on January 22, 2013, 01:02:35 PM
Depends what you mean by bad.

If Braveheart were simply enjoyable hokum I would have no particular problem. However, it has had a noticeable political effect in this country by promoting Scottish aspirations to independence on the basis of a myth.

Ann

That's fair. So maybe we should consider it "reckless" and "dangerous". Certainly there are very few people who'd consider it "bad" off of the basic components of a film; script, storyline, pacing, acting, etc. Obviously it scores poorly on 'historical accuracy'.
Title: Re: Bad Movies I Have Seen
Post by: Galactic_Misfit on January 22, 2013, 07:50:44 PM
Depends what you mean by bad.

If Braveheart were simply enjoyable hokum I would have no particular problem. However, it has had a noticeable political effect in this country by promoting Scottish aspirations to independence on the basis of a myth.

Ann

That's fair. So maybe we should consider it "reckless" and "dangerous". Certainly there are very few people who'd consider it "bad" off of the basic components of a film; script, storyline, pacing, acting, etc. Obviously it scores poorly on 'historical accuracy'.

I am a descendant of William Wallace and was subjected to "Braveheart" many times during my junior and high school years, and thus had to endure many questions about the real William Wallace. I completely agree that the movie should be deemed "reckless" due to the fact that every question my classmates asked me about William was based on the movie, including: "Did William really wear blue face paint?" to which I always answered: "if he did actually paint his face, I would think it would be the colors of our clan: deep red and green."

I don't particularly think the movie was bad, just horribly inaccurate. I don't know if I am so disappointed in the movie because I pride myself on knowing as much about my ancestor as I can, but that movie just irks me.
Title: Re: Bad Movies I Have Seen
Post by: Galactic_Misfit on January 22, 2013, 07:52:28 PM
I just watched a really bad movie a few days ago called "Arachnoquake"

Basically, the movie is about giant spiders that take over the rural areas of Louisiana, wreak havoc, destroy buildings and kill people.

I don't know what bothered me more about the movie: the weird spiders (they were white and pink/red) or the bad acting. Either way, it is a pretty strange movie and was hard to watch.
Title: Re: Bad Movies I Have Seen
Post by: edubs31 on January 22, 2013, 09:53:28 PM
Interesting lineage SP. One of the other things that tends to irk people about Braveheart, at least at this point, is the fact that Mel Gibson is associated with it. :-/
Title: Re: Bad Movies I Have Seen
Post by: TimM on January 23, 2013, 12:12:58 PM
Quote
I just watched a really bad movie a few days ago called "Arachnoquake"

Basically, the movie is about giant spiders that take over the rural areas of Louisiana, wreak havoc, destroy buildings and kill people.

I don't know what bothered me more about the movie: the weird spiders (they were white and pink/red) or the bad acting. Either way, it is a pretty strange movie and was hard to watch


I've seen that movie too.  Another SyFy channel turkey, the main purpose it seems is to give washed up actors a job.