Alexander Palace Forum

General Category => Welcome New Users! Read 1st please. => Topic started by: Jim_Wilhelm on March 01, 2006, 03:29:27 PM

Title: Good Advice
Post by: Jim_Wilhelm on March 01, 2006, 03:29:27 PM
All:

Here's something else to think about before you post a topic or a reply.  Think about whether someone very close to you (e.g., a wife or husband) may access this site and read your post.  This should be a no-brainer but sometimes we speak freely and don't stop to think about how someone very close to us might react if he or she were to read our post(s).  They may misunderstand or misconstrue something you posted. It could lead to repercussions in your private life.  Suppose you posted that you wished you were Nicholas II. That might not go over very well with a spouse or partner. Guess how I learned this. Think about it.

Jim Wilhelm
Albuquerque, NM USA
Title: Re: Good Advice
Post by: Forum Admin on March 01, 2006, 03:45:53 PM
Jim
I think this IS good advice, not just for those close to us, but for anyone reading the posts. Much of the "bad feelings" that seem to erupt are exactly from people who type before they think. So, for this reason, I'm going to make this sticky too.

THANKS for this great advice.
Title: Re: Good Advice
Post by: Margarita Markovna on March 01, 2006, 07:47:35 PM
This is GREAT. Thank you. I hope people read this.
Title: Re: Good Advice
Post by: Sophia_Skymind on March 04, 2006, 09:46:42 PM
Yeah...I agree with that, too. That's very important if you come from a large family. Think about it when you choose yourself a username, too... My little sister still wants to know what's mine, but I don't want to tell her, because I'm sure she'll laugh at me...
Title: Re: Good Advice
Post by: Joy0318 on March 05, 2006, 07:54:21 PM
I think it's great advice too.

The same goes with choosing a signature line. Everyone here has nice signature lines but on another forum I visit the FA is often having to delete people's siggy's because they are inappropriate or rude.

Title: Re: Good Advice
Post by: reashka on March 15, 2006, 01:59:00 AM
Quote
Yeah...I agree with that, too. That's very important if you come from a large family. Think about it when you choose yourself a username, too... My little sister still wants to know what's mine, but I don't want to tell her, because I'm sure she'll laugh at me...


We share the same Sophia, I guess if my sister found what's mine she'll sure tease me on that. ;D

Quote
Here's something else to think about before you post a topic or a reply.  Think about whether someone very close to you (e.g., a wife or husband) may access this site and read your post.  This should be a no-brainer but sometimes we speak freely and don't stop to think about how someone very close to us might react if he or she were to read our post(s).  They may misunderstand or misconstrue something you posted. It could lead to repercussions in your private life.  Suppose you posted that you wished you were Nicholas II. That might not go over very well with a spouse or partner. Guess how I learned this. Think about it.


We really should think before we post because we don't know what's in mind of others and they might misunderstand what we're saying, carefulness and maturity is really needed.
Title: Re: Good Advice
Post by: Grace on March 15, 2006, 02:06:04 AM
Well, I must be a bit dumb, because I'm afraid I don't really understand this thread personally.

I don't come on this forum to talk about myself or my family so it wouldn't matter if they did come on and read my posts...

I have obviously missed the point here... ???
Title: Re: Good Advice
Post by: Alicky1872 on March 15, 2006, 03:57:27 AM
I'm with you on this one Grace.  ??? While I'm sure it's always a good idea to think before you type (as we all know, I'm guilty of doing this the other way round! Especially when getting worked up about Eddy! ;D) I'm not sure what our famillies have to do with this. My family know I'm insane and wouldn't be surprised by anything I say on here. In fact I'm usually on my best behavior here. They'd be shocked at how restrained I am!  ;D


Quote
All:
  Suppose you posted that you wished you were Nicholas II. That might not go over very well with a spouse or partner. Guess how I learned this.


Yeah, telling your wife you A) wish you were a dead man, or B) wish you had been married to another woman has never gone down as the best way to romance a woman in my book!  ;)
Title: Re: Good Advice
Post by: grandduchessella on March 15, 2006, 08:06:34 AM
Poor Jim_W--sounds like it wasn't the happiest situation there.  :-/

Bob sometimes asks me about the Forum but he's never tried to see what I write (though I often tell him) and respects my privacy. He knows I wouldn't do anything to embarass him (except post a picture of him sleeping at work in Bagram ::) ) so he doesn't worry.

The biggest problem I've had with posting is just the lack of face-to-face contact where you can see a person's face or hear their tone of voice. That can sometimes lead to some unpleasant misunderstandings where someone thought I was being sarcastic or I've thought they were being confrontational. I've been on both sides of that fence.  :-/
Title: Re: Good Advice
Post by: royal_netherlands on March 15, 2006, 08:17:35 AM
Yes I know what you mean. ;) ;D

 royal netherlands
Title: Re: Good Advice
Post by: Alicky1872 on March 15, 2006, 08:54:54 AM
Hang in there Jim_Wilhelm, and just tell your parrner that what you really meant to say was that you wish you were Nicholas II so you could treat them to all the imperial luxuries they deserve!  ;D
Title: Re: Good Advice
Post by: Laura Mabee on March 15, 2006, 11:46:39 AM
Quote
Hang in there Jim_Wilhelm, and just tell your parrner that what you really meant to say was that you wish you were Nicholas II so you could treat them to all the imperial luxuries they deserve!  ;D

Ooo! Good save indeed!
Title: Re: Good Advice
Post by: imperial angel on March 15, 2006, 11:54:52 AM
Yes, that's true that your family might not like what you write. Sure, we don't come on talk about our families, or even ourselves, but sometimes we reference them when discussing something. I am not sure they would always like that! Anyway, it is important not to get too off the wall, but to always think before we type.My family really doesn't know I am on here.. though, and perhaps that is the way to keep it. But great advice, we write not for ourselves, but for the benefit of people on the forum, and always thinking before we type is good. Sorry you found out the hard way! ;)
Title: Re: Good Advice
Post by: Margarita Markovna on March 15, 2006, 01:38:58 PM
Quote
Ooo! Good save indeed!

Agreed. That should get you out of a tight spot!
Title: Re: Good Advice
Post by: reashka on March 16, 2006, 05:30:03 AM
Quote
But great advice, we write not for ourselves, but for the benefit of people on the forum, and always thinking before we type is good.


Very well said. :D
Title: Re: Good Advice
Post by: Brycik on March 16, 2006, 04:32:04 PM
Good advice from everyone. Is it possible to change a username ?

Beatrice
Title: Re: Good Advice
Post by: Laura Mabee on March 16, 2006, 04:43:00 PM
Quote
Good advice from everyone. Is it possible to change a username ?

It's possible to change your display name.
Go to "Profile" and under "Name" you can choose what you want to be displayed.
Title: Re: Good Advice
Post by: Brycik on March 16, 2006, 11:19:55 PM
Thank you Laura Mabee

Brycik
Title: Re: Good Advice
Post by: Jay on April 22, 2006, 09:04:22 AM
Thankyou everyone. It is all very good advice indeed!! Any more good advice besides sticking to the topic being discussed, proper internet etiquette, and not being rude or offensive?
Title: Re: Good Advice
Post by: Alixz on June 19, 2006, 07:59:01 AM
My family knows that I post here, but they don't have a clue about Russian history and they have no idea what I am talking about half of the time anyway.

I know that I have, in the past, posted things that were very personal, but that was usually to make a point, such as how Alexandra had trouble coping with the chronic debilitating disease of her son just as my husband and I have.

My son is probably the one who could be embarrassed, but I don't think so.  He posts on another site and has posted things that I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole, not even with an eleven foot extention!

My only caution is to not give truly important personal information such as "true name" if you are using a user name, true address, phone number or even true email.  Let anyone who wants to contact you do so through the site unless you are very sure to whom you are talking.  I hesitate to let anyone know what part of the US I live in. (And its a very big country)

That last one is from my heart.  I have had such a bad experience with "trusting" someone who abused my trust.

"Be careful out there."
Title: Re: Good Advice
Post by: Ortino on June 19, 2006, 01:30:34 PM
Quote
My only caution is to not give truly important personal information such as "true name" if you are using a user name, true address, phone number or even true email.  Let anyone who wants to contact you do so through the site unless you are very sure to whom you are talking.  I hesitate to let anyone know what part of the US I live in. (And its a very big country)

While this is certainly crucial advice, as I've mentioned before, this becomes more complicated with sites like AP, where people are exchanging books and such. You have to provide an address and name for things like this, making maintaining privacy rather tricky. If you're going to participate in threads like the Duplicate books thread and uncomfortable with providing such personal information, it is recommended to use an alternate address, like a work address.
Title: Re: Good Advice
Post by: Tania+ on June 19, 2006, 01:41:32 PM
[size=10]Dear Readers, & Posters !

Before you do anything, get everyone's attention, and make sure they approve and ok what you do !
I would suggest to either give the name of a business [perhaps where you work] in regards to mailing, or receiving mail, as books, or gain a post office box. Either work quite well. Make sure the priviso is to only use it for receiving understandings as books, literature, nothing more; and for heaven's sake, one can use only a first name for anyone. Only your business or post office will and must maintain your personal identity and personal information, never giving it to the public. This IS one way of maintaining your personal data, and your privacy.

Remember in all and any of your posts to those on the global internet, never allow anyone to cross your personal boundries. Make it very specific here on these threads, as well any threads, that you will provide no more than the given address you offer, and or your first name only, if only an alias.

Make postively sure the receivers of anything you will ask for others of whom you ask to mail to, are kept appraised of what you ask the public and them to be involved in. If you do not, you may be involved in lengthy legal entanglements....

But again, the purpose of any of the information shared, especially on the global internet, IS a responsibility we all must be involved in.

Safety is 100% everyone's responsibility. That is more than good sage advice !!!!  :)

Tatiana+[/size]
Title: Re: Good Advice
Post by: Jim_Wilhelm on June 21, 2006, 10:04:53 AM
Tania:

I'm trying to send you a PM, but something is wrong and it's not going through. I hate to post this on the forum but its the only other way I have to contact you. I'll try to contact the FA and report the problem.

Jim Wilhelm
albuquerque, NM USA
Title: Re: Good Advice
Post by: Павэл on December 04, 2010, 01:43:04 PM
Additional Problems:

I have recently discovered why some old friends from my undergraduate days were not replying. They know nothing about Russian history - all they could see was that my facebook account was full of pictures of pre-pubescent girls. "Remember that bloke in the room above us in the 2nd year? Never dates?" and all. The black and white format didn't help them figure this themselves. Now they just think I'm a REALLY SAD monarchist! As if.

The other problem is for those who write poetry or playa about with faded collages. Be careful your wife doesn't think the word 'affair'. (Not one I've had personally).
Title: Re: Good Advice
Post by: Sunny on December 06, 2010, 01:42:24 AM
Have to admit my husband knows everything about this - that i'm obsessed with the romanovs stuff and so on. I was not sure tio come in in this forum, that's my husband who insisted the most... he wanted me to have a way to speak freely about this, with others "obsessed"  ;)
Personally, don't mind if my friends on fb think i'm mad, or something - they already know it  ::)
Title: Re: Good Advice
Post by: Romafan96 on February 21, 2013, 08:05:57 AM
This is very good advice indeed. Because the internet provides some source of anonymity, people believe they can say what they like and get away with it. Even if family members don't lurk here, this Forum is used by hundreds of people worldwide. What is acceptable to say in England, may not be acceptable to say in Russia, and so forth. The worst thing in the world is having a virtual argument with someone you don't even know over something that was misconstrued.
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