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Alexandra Feodorovna / Re: Alexandra and her Health
« on: May 29, 2005, 08:11:14 PM »
What an interesting thread! I apologize if this has come up before -- I've been skimming the last few pages in my eagerness to post 
I've wondered seriously about Alix and panic disorder since I was diagnosed with it myself a year or more ago. But with all her other physical ailments, I also wonder how fuzzy the line between her physical and mental troubles might be?
While many folks get hit with panic attacks out of the blue, my experience has been in response to specific trigger situations, sometimes ridiculously specific situations (ie: I'd ride shotgun anywhere with my parents, grandparents, and two particular friends, but the idea of getting into a car with anyone else would put me over the edge). From what I recall of Alix's panic-like symptoms, they occurred when she was under the gaze of high society, but not so much so in the presence of the public or her family. The more reclusive the family became, the less evidence I recall noticing of anxiety attack symptoms. Could her anxiety have been situational, like mine? I hesitate to blame the symptoms on shyness, considering how willing & eager she was to interact with the general public during her charity bazaars in the Crimea, innumerable hospital visits during the war, and the public appearances during the tercentenary celebrations. Even the Coronation, which would have made me an absolute wreck, seems to have been a pleasurable experience for her.
That said, the trouble she had with her heart in later years makes me also wonder about the possibility of a more generalized anxiety disorder as her worries over the war and Alexei's health took their toll. Has anybody run across a descriptions of what Alix experienced physically on a day when she rather vaguely described her heart as feeling "enlarged"? (Which creates in my mind a semi-comical vision of her heart expanding and deflating like a little red souffle...) Heart attack-style symptoms are, after all, a manifestation of panic in some people. I think it's possible that once the social triggers for panic attacks faded out of her life, the anxiousness may have eeked its way out of her in a more constant, low-key manner.
But criminy, when we add all the other straightforward stuff she dealt with -- sciatica, migraine headaches, the physical toll of 5 pregnancies -- it's tough to know just where those borders might lie.
Any thoughts?
Sarah
Oh, and a ridiculous sidenote:
You know what I do to distract myself when my anxiety threatens to get completely out of hand? I recite the script of Rasputin (the Alan Rickman version) in my head!
I've wondered seriously about Alix and panic disorder since I was diagnosed with it myself a year or more ago. But with all her other physical ailments, I also wonder how fuzzy the line between her physical and mental troubles might be?
While many folks get hit with panic attacks out of the blue, my experience has been in response to specific trigger situations, sometimes ridiculously specific situations (ie: I'd ride shotgun anywhere with my parents, grandparents, and two particular friends, but the idea of getting into a car with anyone else would put me over the edge). From what I recall of Alix's panic-like symptoms, they occurred when she was under the gaze of high society, but not so much so in the presence of the public or her family. The more reclusive the family became, the less evidence I recall noticing of anxiety attack symptoms. Could her anxiety have been situational, like mine? I hesitate to blame the symptoms on shyness, considering how willing & eager she was to interact with the general public during her charity bazaars in the Crimea, innumerable hospital visits during the war, and the public appearances during the tercentenary celebrations. Even the Coronation, which would have made me an absolute wreck, seems to have been a pleasurable experience for her.
That said, the trouble she had with her heart in later years makes me also wonder about the possibility of a more generalized anxiety disorder as her worries over the war and Alexei's health took their toll. Has anybody run across a descriptions of what Alix experienced physically on a day when she rather vaguely described her heart as feeling "enlarged"? (Which creates in my mind a semi-comical vision of her heart expanding and deflating like a little red souffle...) Heart attack-style symptoms are, after all, a manifestation of panic in some people. I think it's possible that once the social triggers for panic attacks faded out of her life, the anxiousness may have eeked its way out of her in a more constant, low-key manner.
But criminy, when we add all the other straightforward stuff she dealt with -- sciatica, migraine headaches, the physical toll of 5 pregnancies -- it's tough to know just where those borders might lie.
Any thoughts?
Sarah
Oh, and a ridiculous sidenote:
You know what I do to distract myself when my anxiety threatens to get completely out of hand? I recite the script of Rasputin (the Alan Rickman version) in my head!