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Messages - _Rodger_

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News Links / Re: So THAT'S where "it" is...
« on: April 28, 2004, 07:08:27 PM »
This is just wrong.  :-/

Public Notice in Compliance with 501(c)(3) Charitable organizations public disclosure requirements.

In response to a demand for audit filed by certain individuals, the Claimant Committee does hereby and forthwith reply to the scurillous and unfounded allegations set forth in the nuisance complaint.

Our first action is to file a 12-b-6 motion in Federal Court citing a failure on the part of the claimant in question to bring a grievance the court can address.

And regarding the wild and largely unprovable allegations made by the government that the Claimant Committee was squandering donation funds on 'floozies and booze' at an adult bistro in New Orleans, the Claimant Committee's legal counsel has advised us not to dignify such a outrageous allegation with a public comment.

Moreover, the administrative practices of the Claimant Committee are completely above board and conform to the letter of the requirements of GAAP.  The allegation that the Committee is using potential future donations to fund vacations and new cars on credit is shocking and outrageous.  

We will not stand for this sort of thing and are really disappointed that potential claimants whom have not conformed to the letter the rules the Committee has set forthwith, in particular failure to pay the filing fees for appeals, are trying to bypass these reasonable and evenly applied rules by appealing to the courts.  We feel this practice is counter productive to the solemn and noble mission of the Claimant Committee.

The Clamaint Committee requests that it not be addressed in the familiar.  We will not be intimidated by attempts to single out particular (gifted and important) members by claimants.  

We recognize that intimidation is well-known technique for influencing committee decisions, and we refuse to buckle.

(Janet, I'm waiting for a cab.  I'll be home shortly, thanks)

The Claimant Committee has been rudely paged out of it's weekly agenda meeting at Senor Frog's where critical matters regarding claimants were being discussed.

Following a couple of ceremonial pitchers of marguaritas, the chair was paged to answer an apparent attempt from interlopers to use this highly valued and esteemed thread to solicit donations for some spurious claim to the Throne of Russia.  

The Claimant Committee abhors unsolicted attempts to capitalize on it's good name for ludicrous claims by preying on True Believers.  It is in this spirit that the Claimant Committee asks for donations for it's legal team's costs.  Please send your donations (Visa, Mastercard or Amex preferred) to the bartender at Senor Frog's, Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.  

Thank you.


The Claimant Committee is pleased to announce the 2004-2005 Men of the Romanov Imperial Family Swim Calendar.

Yes, these fabulous photos of your Romanov faves, along with their military buddies, in various scintilating action poses is yours for only $19.95.

Must be 21 to order.  Void in areas where illegal.  Visa or Mastercard accepted.

The Windsors / Re: the windors claim to the throne
« on: April 15, 2004, 02:50:56 PM »
The funny thing is Jake is wrong even in regards to the non-British issue.

The current ruling house's ancestry is easily traced to the Stuarts, the Tudors, the Plantagenents, and earlier.

They can make a claim of descent from Alfred the Great as well as the early royal lines of Scotland, Wales, Northumbria, and the ancient pagan tribal kings of Roman Britain.

I wish some of these people would rely more on the historical record, and less on the republican BBC. . .  ::)

The moderators are pleased to announce the publication of a new book about the Romanovs.

It will be entitled: The Romanovs: the Absolutely, Positively Final Chapter (we think) about the Fate of at least several Members of the Last Imperial Family of Russia.  

It will be published by Wile E. Coyote Scientific Publishers through it's ACME special history house.

This book will have such special features as

*  a behind the scenes look at the Soviet Archives and Calligraphy Shop.

*  Those special permafrost resistant trees that only grow in Southern Siberia near the Kazakstan border.

*  Interviews with people who know something about the Romanovs.

*  Interviews with people who think they are the Romanovs.

So run, don't walk, to your nearest bookseller and buy this book!

The Claimant Committee recognizes that some people are having difficulty perfecting their claims, for any of a number of reasons.  

One of the main reasons is that they are having difficulty understanding or following the otherwise simple rules put forward by the committee.  

To help individuals, and in some cases, groups, perfect their claim in the format required here, the Claimant Committee is pleased to announce that it has reached an agreement with Spoof U.  

Spoof U. offers college credit for your efforts in perfecting your claim, leading to a bachelor's or master's degree in Romanovology.  

Your experiences with following instructions, writing your claim, and learning from scientists why your DNA doesn't stand a permafrost's chance in an Ekaterinburg summer of actually matching any published value, is deemed by the Board of Director's of Spoof U. as sufficient for passing their rigorous degree requirements.  

Please contact the forum moderators as seen above for financial aid details, as well as any pre-requisites, although we are sure your life experiences will suffice.

Thank you,

The Claimant Committee.

Following an executive session of the Claimant Committee with it's legal representatives, the Committee rejects the legal claim brought forth earlier in the week.

However, if you are dissatisfied with this result, you are allowed the opportunity to appeal this decision, provided that you reply in a timely manner as specified below.

To appeal a Claimant Committee decision, please wire $995.00 to the Committee's anonymous numbered account in the Grand Cayman Islands within 72 hours of receiving the rejection.  Please contact one of the board moderators as shown above for specific routing numbers.

Thank you, and we regret any inconvenience this decision may cause.

The Claimant Committee.

Gosh doctor,

Thanks for the armchair diagnosis.

Sounds like every teenager that's ever lived  . . .  ;D

The Claimant Committee is disappointed that thus far, it appears that there is a paucity of serious Romanov Family Claimants applying here.

From our perspective, we believe that it is even possible that some applicants may be taking advantage of this opportunity we have graciously offered serious Romanov Claimants to put forward their claim and evidence, and are perhaps parodying this serious opportunity.

We therefore ask for serious Romanov Family Claimants only apply here.

Your cooperation is appreciated.

The Claimant Committee.

In light of the recent submission of an Administrative Protest, the Claimant Committee shall recess to take the Protest under advisement.

Several members are concerned that the Protest amounts to an obfuscation couched in some incomprehensible legalese, while the remaining members seem to believe there is some validity to the Protest, under the sections cited by the petitioner.

The Committee therefore recesses until further notice.

Because the Committe is being inundated with claims, for handling and filing purposes, the Claimant Committee would like to remind claimants that some evidence beyond personal testament are useful.  

Please include physical evidence with your application.  

Thank you.

The Myth and Legends of Survivors / Re: The Remains in Brussels
« on: April 09, 2004, 12:54:39 AM »
The Russian Expert Commission Abroad obtained samples to test, and sent the samples to several labs, none of which obtained enough DNA for a valid test.

As the labs were unable to obtain valid results, the tests can't be published.  

Again, this is actually more of the rule than the exception with degraded DNA.  The published results for Louis XVII, for example, made it clear that they were only able to obtain enough valid sample from the inner chamber of his heart to allow identification.

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