I think most people would agree that Alexandra would have found it just as difficult to cope had she been the wife of a provincial goverment official. She was not cut out to be Empress of Russia. She was not a "People Person", shy, withdrawn, self opinionated,socially inept and totally out of touch with what was going on around her. Having a husband with a weak character did not help either. Perhaps if she had a strong husband, things would have been different.
Rightfully her sons problems, and the resultant guilt she felt, must also have had a tremendous influence on her, and perhaps she sufferred from post traumatic stress disorder, and chronic depression. She was a good mother in many respects, but I think it was was wrong to alienate her children from the outside world. They had hardly any interaction with the real world, and led a cloistered existence created for them by their mother.
Queen Mary blamed her entirely for the Russian revolution, and said so quite openly. Of course there were other political factors and the War ,but had the Imperial Family not distanced themselves wilingly from the Russian people, they would perhaps have survived.
It was not her fault, but she just had the wrong personality and qualifications for the job, and was loathe to listen to good advice, when given by those who could see disaster coming. I have great sympathy for the rest of the family, but feel that she was largely responsible for the way things turned out.
Pity Grand Duchess Vladimir was'nt Empress. She was cut out for it.