I perhaps owe an appology, at least an explanation. If anyone thinks by the term "infatuated" I mean "obsessed" they are wrong, it's not that at all.
I realize how this might sound, but I have the ability to do what I call feeling time. The ability to somehow personally touch and connect with other times and often other times and places. It's as if I feel a need to somehow go back and personally re-live and experience certain periods in history, and bring those experiences back to share with others. There are occasions when I feel it more strongly than others, and I feel it more in connection with certain periods or subjects of history than than with others. Strangely for this discussion, Russian History even that of the last of the Tsars is not one of those periods or subjects, though it does at times creep in and moreso recently. Almost exclusively it is American History, and History of The Ancient World, Ancient Egypt, Ancient Greece, etc.
If my mind is kind of blank and I'm not concentrating on anything in particular, certain sights, sounds, a peice of music, a smell, the heat on a particular summer day, etc can trigger it and it's as if for an instant or so I am in another time or another time and place as if for an instant some uncrossable barrier has been transcended.
Like I said, Russian History even that of the last of the Tsars isn't usually one of those times or subjects in history, though it does come to me at times and moreso recently. Perhaps that is because I have recently come to a sense that restoration of The Russian Monarchy will come within the foreseeable future. Other than that and a possibly profetic dream I had years ago about the restoration I don't know why I have developed some interest in the subject of The Russian Monarchy. Also, I have no idea as to why Tatiana.
Like I also said, almost exclusively it is with American History and with the History of The Ancient World that I have this.
I am also someone who feels a need to understand things, even things we cannot normally understand or explain in normal or logical terms. So in this case I do wonder why this subject in history, and I do wonder why of all people Tatiana. Those are questions for which I will probably never find an answer, but I ask the questions anyway.
I don't think of this ability as a problem to get rid of. Instead I think of it as a kind of gift. I don't know what purpose this gift serves except that if I were a history teacher I could make history literally come alive for my students.
One problem with gifts like this is that they don't come with any instructions or any sort of user's guide to help one to understand how to use or handle such gifts. That is something people with such gifts have to figure out for themselves.
Is there anyone else here who can feel time like that, and what periods of history do you feel it for?
