Author Topic: Alexandra as Empress and Mother  (Read 133576 times)

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Offline Romanov_fan

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Re: Alexandra as Empress and Mother
« Reply #165 on: September 10, 2006, 06:11:14 PM »
Well, Alexandra did feel responsible. But I think she was an excellant mother to all her children. Nicholas accepted it, and tolerated Rasputin because he knew Alexandra needed him. He was aware of the larger issues involved, but he still paid attention to the fact that Alexandra thought he was indispensable for Alexei. Nicholas and Alexandra lived with the favt of Alexei's hemophilia as best they could.

grandduchess_42

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Re: Alexandra as Empress and Mother
« Reply #166 on: September 10, 2006, 06:44:54 PM »
well of course
its like having a child with autism 'sp?'

you want the best for your child, any means necessary.

Offline Romanov_fan

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Re: Alexandra as Empress and Mother
« Reply #167 on: September 10, 2006, 06:53:46 PM »
I think that was the main thing for both of them; making sure that they did the best for Alexei that was possible. And that went above and beyond any other issues.

grandduchess_42

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Re: Alexandra as Empress and Mother
« Reply #168 on: September 17, 2006, 09:27:57 PM »
yes i'm sure it was...

but i do think that she did baby him a bit. but then again, i'm not a mother and i don't really know.

but she could have let him done somthings on him own and not been right behind him everysecond!

Offline Ortino

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Re: Alexandra as Empress and Mother
« Reply #169 on: September 18, 2006, 12:22:40 AM »
yes i'm sure it was...

but i do think that she did baby him a bit. but then again, i'm not a mother and i don't really know.

but she could have let him done somthings on him own and not been right behind him everysecond!

Autism and hemophilia are not medically equivalent--autism can't potentially kill you. If she had let him romp around like other boys or not had him supervised all the time, he might have injured himself and ultimately died from that injury. Even a small one could be painful and potentially life threatening. Let's be realistic here people. And indeed, Alix fawned over him more than was necessary. He was a rather spoiled, unruly child.

Offline Romanov_fan

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Re: Alexandra as Empress and Mother
« Reply #170 on: September 18, 2006, 08:48:16 AM »
He was a bit spoiled, which is understandable as he was the heir, her only son, and also ill. She did have to pay attention to him, and did, although it became the most important thing in her life, which is hard for some to understand.

grandduchess_42

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Re: Alexandra as Empress and Mother
« Reply #171 on: September 23, 2006, 11:46:41 AM »
well it was just a comparision

thanks for all your opinions!

Offline RealAnastasia

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Re: Alexandra as Empress and Mother
« Reply #172 on: November 06, 2006, 11:24:04 PM »
Well...You are not right. Many princess were tomboys back then. I think that tomboys are more common these days than now, when girls likes to use rosy clothes , to collection "Barbies" and to diet until starve to look absolutely perfect. My sister -in-law is teacher and she knows girls of 8 years old making diet and having absolutely all the things they wear in a rosy colour!

There were a lot of tomboy princess...One of them was Alix herself! She was not a submissive sweet Victorian princess. Even if she was not as mischievous as Anastasia, she was a tomboy, and had an independent mind. I think than she and her Malenkaya has more than a trait in common!  ;)

Of course, there was another VERY KNOWN tomboy princess: Elizabeth of Wittelsbach...our very well known Empress Sissi!

And what about Marie-Antoinette, born a lot of years before Sissi and Alix?

RealAnastasia.

Offline RealAnastasia

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Re: Alexandra as Empress and Mother
« Reply #173 on: November 06, 2006, 11:28:46 PM »
Well, I think she might have blamed herself for a while about Alexei having hemophilia. It did come from the mother after all, and she was the mother, the carrier.I think it lessened, but there was still some guilt there. Of course, it wasn't her fault, it was genetics. But she always felt responsible towards Alexei, because of his illness.

Thank you for writting this, Imperial_Angel. I read in a website about hemophilia , that mothers usually thinks that they are responsibles of their children disease. Of course, they aren't, but it is a normal psychological reaction.

RealAnastasia.

Offline Romanov_fan

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Re: Alexandra as Empress and Mother
« Reply #174 on: November 07, 2006, 08:55:07 AM »
Yes, it was a normal reaction for her to have. I think she never really understood that she wasn't to blame. If it had had happerened nowadays, she might have more understanding of the whole thing.

Offline lori_c

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Re: Alexandra as Empress and Mother
« Reply #175 on: November 07, 2006, 11:53:25 AM »
What Alix had to endure with poor Alexei's illness on top of the guilt she carried aged the poor lady mercilessly.  Her entire life changed to accomodate the illness and the prospect of impending death of the young heir. The Emperor supported whatever would help his hysterical wife.  I agree that he was quite aware of the larger picture involving Rasputin but given the choice, he chose his son and his wife.  As anybody would.   I think this strain of hemophilia may have shown itself within her relationship w/her girls but also, the girls were quite aware that their brother was very ill and showed great kindness and consideration towards him and they babied him as well.  Though Olga was sometimes rebellious, she was also growing up and becoming a young lady.  Most certainly going through the pangs of teen angst (as much as there could be during Victorian times).  But she and the othe girls truly loved their brother and understood as did her sisters the tremendous strain and danger to his health that was involved.

Though spoiled and unruly, he was also grew up with the knowledge of how seriously ill he was.  He even went so far as to ask at quite a young age that when he was dead would it stop hurting? Not something a healthy child even has to face.  He lived life to the fullest that his illness allowed him. 

Offline Romanov_fan

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Re: Alexandra as Empress and Mother
« Reply #176 on: November 07, 2006, 12:15:41 PM »
Yes, Nicholas was aware of the larger sitiuation involving Rasputin. But, you are right he chose to focus on the more human parts of the sitiuation, something that I can understand. People commenting from afar often say that he should have paid more attention to the political aspects of the sitiuation, and not to the personal. But, honestly, his did his best, and for Alexandra Rasputin was very much a neccesity for her son, and her own sanity.

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Re: Alexandra as Empress and Mother
« Reply #177 on: November 07, 2006, 12:35:48 PM »
Any adult having to address the issues that Alix was forced to address would age a person imho. Her life did change considerably as most households to in those times, as it is in the present. In most families, the role of caretaker of an invalid is primarily up to the mother, and in this case it fell on Alix. In those days hemophilia was not explored as it was later medically, so there were many unanswered issues, and with those issues unanswered it can and does produce extremes of anxiety, in that alone. Being a parent, without the other issues of being head of an empire, is considerable, then as it is now, and now even more so. Focusing just on the issues of being a family as this thread is, then for these children, much imho, love was offered generously, but with strickness as it should be for young souls. The children led lives that most children in the world are not. We as readers read everything now days after the fact on their lives, and can easily point to what we think is a problem or not. But for this particular family, they led a very enclosed life, and were more or less identifiably friends, sisters and brothers unto themselves.
With this understanding, I think they came to know their weaknesses and their strengths, and grew with this to depend greatly on their family togetherness.

That the young heir apparant was looked on as special, is not out of the ordinary, from a royal family or from an improvished family. What is of greater importance is how the children were addressed in specifics of what was deemed responsible or inadmissable behaviour, and imho, i think this was addressed in how each child's personality was. Their parents were in insufferable to them, nor at all to destroy their child's persona.
This was just the way this royal family chose to raise their children, and did to the best they knew how, imho.

Tatiana+

Offline Romanov_fan

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Re: Alexandra as Empress and Mother
« Reply #178 on: November 10, 2006, 12:08:50 PM »
Indeed, that is all true, as ever, I could not have put it better, at all.Alexandra did her best in the cirsumstances and sitiuation she found herself in. She was under much pressure, and the way she acted can often be understood in terms of that in my opinion.  Hemophilia would have been understood better later, and it would have made it easier for Alexandra, and it would have made it easier for to understand. But still, she was the mother of the heir to the throne, and this part of that was the hardest for her, knowing that this was her son, and not just that, the heir. Had he not been the heir, it still would have been hard, but that just made things worse.

Offline Romanov_fan

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Re: Alexandra as Empress and Mother
« Reply #179 on: November 12, 2006, 07:06:34 PM »
Well, Nicholas knew exactly what Rasputin did when he was not at the palace. He knew that the things said about Rasputin were real, not not just rumours. I tend to think that Alexandra heard these stories, although maybe not all of them, and that she thought many of them were rumours, and not reality. It isn't like Alexandra was denying reality, she simply didn't believe in it. But, Nicholas did know reality, and he chose not to get rid of Rasputin, but rather to allow him to stay. I believe that Nicholas knew these things were reality, not rumour. To me, that's the essence of the matter, anyway.