Was Alix of Hesse disliked by British royals?

[Eddie_uk]

What proof is there, if any, that Alexandra was disliked by British Royals? The only cousin I can see, that seemed to dislike Alexandra, was Queen Marie of Romania.....

[Thomas_Hesse]

What proof is there, if any, that Alexandra was disliked by British Royals? The only cousin I can see, that seemed to dislike Alexandra, was Queen Marie of Romania.....

Which is easily explained: due to the disastrous part her sister Victoria Melita played in the Hessian marriage Alexandra had strong resentiments against her former sister in law. Of course Marie of Romania took her own sister's part

[Eddie_uk]

Good point Thomas!

Did Queen Mary & Alexandra correspond? I seem to recall reading that at one point Queen Mary sent a message asking after the health of the "Ex-Empress"

[feodorovna]

And it must be remembered, EddieUK, that  showing dislike of a person can say more about the character of the one expressing it, than of the one on the receiving end. George Vs lack of affection for his eldest son seemed to be centred on David's refusal to be a carbon copy of his father, unlike Bertie who appeared to agree with him. Could the Queen of Romania have been jealous of Alexandra, who had a loving marriage, a close family life, had been elevated from relative obscurity to, arguably, the most powerful position in the world, and even though she did it all wrong, Nicky still adored her? Of course, these possibilities are pure supposition but when it comes to seeking reasons for likes and dislikes the can't be left out of the equation.

[Helen]

The only cousin I can see, that seemed to dislike Alexandra, was Queen Marie of Romania.....

Which is easily explained: due to the disastrous part her sister Victoria Melita played in the Hessian marriage Alexandra had strong resentiments against her former sister in law. Of course Marie of Romania took her own sister's part

I think Ernst Ludwig played a part equally disastrous in the failure of that marriage, but, yes, Alexandra was loyal to her brother, whereas Marie of Romania was loyal to her sister. Yet one should make some differentiations: although Alexandra was critical of Victoria Melita's behaviour before the divorce, she was also critical of Ernst Ludwig, encouraging him to follow his doctor's advice and also recommending "patience & proofs of tender love" [the underlining is Alexandra's]; she wrote this shortly after Nicholas and Alexandra had spent several weeks in Darmstadt in 1897 and had been able to see how Ernst Ludwig and Victoria Melita interacted and communicated with one another. In the end, Alexandra was very positive about Victoria Melita and her war work during WWI, and wrote so to her brother.

[Eddie_uk]

And it must be remembered, EddieUK, that  showing dislike of a person can say more about the character of the one expressing it, than of the one on the receiving end. George Vs lack of affection for his eldest son seemed to be centred on David's refusal to be a carbon copy of his father, unlike Bertie who appeared to agree with him. Could the Queen of Romania have been jealous of Alexandra, who had a loving marriage, a close family life, had been elevated from relative obscurity to, arguably, the most powerful position in the world, and even though she did it all wrong, Nicky still adored her? Of course, these possibilities are pure supposition but when it comes to seeking reasons for likes and dislikes the can't be left out of the equation.

I couldn't agree more!

Some relations may well have found Alexandra exasperating rather than actually disliked her ?George V perhaps.

It would be interesting too establish which Royals Alexandra may have been disliked by and the possible reasons behind it....

[feodorovna]

With whom would you suggest we start, Eddie_uk?

[Eddie_uk]

Take your pick!

Alexandra seems to have had a good relationship with Marie Louise & Helena Victoria. Less so with Queen Marie & Victoria Melita.

Did Alexandra keep in touch with her Aunt Beatrice I wonder?

[Kalafrana]

Just finished reading 'The German Woman', from which lots of interesting issues emerge (must remember that it is a novel!). One suggestion which emerges is that Alexandra seemed to think that her situation with Alexei was uniquely bad, in that the other mothers of haemophiliacs all had at least one healthy son.

If that is correct, then her relations might well find that exasperating, given that Ena had two haemophiliac sons and one deaf-mute, plus a husband who blamed her for it all, and the pair of them had had a bomb thrown at them during their wedding procession (great welcome to her new country). Irene also had two haemophiliac sons, one of whom died, though she and Heinrich seem to have had a very happy marriage. Beatrice was widowed while her children were all still young (Maurice not yet five), then Maurice was killed in 1914 and Leopold died in his early 30s. As for Queen Victoria, who had her Leopold, and whose grief at the death of Albert was unrivalled. Alexandra at least had an endlessly devoted husband.

Ann

[Helen]

Just finished reading 'The German Woman', from which lots of interesting issues emerge (must remember that it is a novel!). One suggestion which emerges is that Alexandra seemed to think that her situation with Alexei was uniquely bad, in that the other mothers of haemophiliacs all had at least one healthy son.

As 'The German Woman' is a novel: is there any evidence that this is correct, i.e. that this is how the real Alexandra felt? I don't believe I ever saw such evidence.

[Robert_Hall]

What difference does it make, Helen ? As it is a novel-fiction, the author can make up anything he or she wants. In historical novels, background is nice, but still,  all players are at the author's imagination, are they not ?

[Kalafrana]

'As 'The German Woman' is a novel: is there any evidence that this is correct, i.e. that this is how the real Alexandra felt?'

This is what I'm wondering.

Ann

[Helen]

What difference does it make, Helen ? As it is a novel-fiction, the author can make up anything he or she wants. In historical novels, background is nice, but still,  all players are at the author's imagination, are they not ?

Oh, it does not make any difference, as far as the novel is concerned. Like Ann, I just wondered whether there is any evidence, as I think that there's no use in speculating about possible reactions to fictional views.

[Alixz]

I always tend to forget, as Alexandra may have, that Alexei was NOT the only hemophiliac child, grandchild or great grandchild of Queen Victoria.

But I made the point before that people with children who are disabled do not have to feel sorry for themselves or look for impossible solutions in improbable places and I was told that not everyone is strong.

While that is true, Alexandra did have so much help at her disposal that so many others do not have.  Perhaps more than Irene or Ena just based on her position as Empress not sister in law to the Emperor or Queen of Spain whose husband blamed her entirely.

I wonder if those other women with hemophiliac sons got tired of Alexandra's attitude of martyrdom. While Alexei was the only son in the Imperial line of succession, and probably, to Alexandra's mind, more important than other children, she may have fostered a silent dislike in her relatives who were suffering the same way but without the help of a loving partner or the resources to keep looking for a cure.

[Kalafrana]

Alixz

I agree. We might also bear in mind that in some ways Ena was under an even greater imperative to produce healthy sons, as Alfonso was an only son with no uncles or male-line cousins, and the Carlist Wars were a fairly recent event. Alexandra might not have relished one of Nicholas's relations succeeding, but there was no shortage of them.

I can't help thinking that the adjective some of Alexandra's relations might have used of her was 'tiresome' - her air of martyrdom, her self-righteousness and obsession with her children.

Ann