I have two:
"The Optimist believes this to be the best of all possible worlds. The Pessimist is afraid the Optimist is correct." Anon.
"When I was young and living in Paris, Champagne was relatively inexpensive, so I used to drink a half bottle in the morning, and a another half bottle at 6 in the evening. I found it did me a world of good."
-Gerald Hamilton. "The Way it Was With Me"