Alexei and his sisters

[Ally Kumari]

Dec. 17, 1915, p.133
"...It's so cold here, even in the rooms that one wants cry out. We are going to have breakfast upstairs with Aleksey. I often play cards with him and we don't argue as yet..."
An excerpt of Maria's letter to her Father which shows Maria and Alexei can possibly have arguments anytime.

I read somewhere (but lost the source a long time ago), that Maria and Alexei had once a big argument over a card game, which had to be solved in their father´s study. Perhas because of that she mentions this....

[Yelena Aleksandrovna]

And were these incidents with Maria very frequent?

[Ally Kumari]

I don´t know. As I said I can´t remeber the source and it could be a second-hand statement. However I suppose that ther could be a light friction between Maria and Alexei. He was the loved one, the spoilt one, while she always felt a bit unloved and unwanted. When they were little Maria could quite well be jealous of her brother.

[Yelena Aleksandrovna]

Do you know if the other OTA felt unloved? or better to say that Alexei had more attention and they were
ignored?

[Ally Kumari]

I have seen no evidence that would actually show Olga, Tatiana or Anastasia would ever feelt unloved like Maria. I think it was Lily Dehn who wrote that the sisters never envied their brother his special position (so if Maria was jealous it was nothing, that would really intervened with her love for Alexei).

[Kalafrana]

'I think it was Lily Dehn who wrote that the sisters never envied their brother his special position (so if Maria was jealous it was nothing, that would really intervened with her love for Alexei).'

Is Lili Dehn entirely to be relied on here? Her acount is rather rose-coloured. Pierre Gilliard is also a bit rose-coloured at times.

Ann

[Ally Kumari]

My brother and I had SO many serious arguments and still the bond is untouched. Can´t see a reason why it shouldn´t be true.

[Kalafrana]

'My brother and I had SO many serious arguments and still the bond is untouched. Can´t see a reason why it shouldn´t be true.'

My brother and I had enormous numbers of arguments and fallings-out and the bond between us is shaky. We're not actively not speaking but neither seeks the other's company and the last time we met was three years ago at an uncle's funeral (we live 200 miles apart). I have tried a few times to build bridges, but he's obviously not interested. He is three years younger than I am, my parents wanted a son, he was sickly (asthma) and my mother spolit him.

I would be surprised if none of the sisters was ever jealous of Alexei.

Lili Dehn also believed in Anna Anderson. I am sorry to have to doubt her judgement because a friend of mine (now dead) whose judgement I did admire, knew her and spoke highly of her (he worked with her son). She must have been a tough cookie, as she got away from the Red Army in January 1945 by swimming the Vistula!)

Ann

[Ally Kumari]

Lily only accepted AA as a very old lady. IMHO Lily simply wished for some link to the beloved past....

As I said, I believe Maria was indeed jealous of all the attention Alexei got, but then again she adored him as much as others did.

[RealAnastasia]

I don't think the girls were jealous of Alexei. At the time it was natural that he should be the Heir and not them. We are too much used to translate nowadays points of view to imperial girls being born at the end of XIX century and beginning of XX's one.

About little fights and arguments among Alexei and the Grand Duchess, yes...Who could doubt about they argued, and I maybe, quite often? I'm not the daughter of an Emperor, and I fighted with my brother quite wildly time to time!  Nothing odd about it. I think OTMAA were good children, but no matter how good a children is, they argues with his/her siblings and friends. I've already told about Saint Thérèse of Lisieux. When a girl, she was pretty wild, stubborn and not too well behaved. And think she was a Saint! But people thinks that saints are perfect, and in fact, only God actually is...

No problem for me to accept OTMAA as normal children who argues with each other, but loving deeply each other too.

RealAnastasia.

[Ally Kumari]

I don't think the girls were jealous of Alexei. At the time it was natural that he should be the Heir and not them. We are too much used to translate nowadays points of view to imperial girls being born at the end of XIX century and beginning of XX's one.

RealAnastasia.

I didn´t mean they were jealous of his position, but the extra attention he received. Of course he was ill, but especially Alexandra took greater care of him. Thanks to a letter by her we know that Maria thought she and Anastasia had some secret, which she didn´t know. Alexandra denied anything of the sort, but it points out that Maria felt a bit isolated within her family. Logically I assume she must have been "jealous" (maybe it´s not the bst word) of Alexei.

[Kalafrana]

I think the girls would have accepted that Alexei was the heir and that this put in a different position from them. However, what I'm thinking about is the difference in the way their mother treated him and them. The impression I have is that Alexandra kept the elder two on a fairly tight rein, spoilt Alexei rotten (no boundaries whatever), and the younger girls somewhere in between, though I think Anastasia was also allowed to get away with a lot more than than her sisters. Now surely that is going to create tensions, and to say that everybody adored Alexei nonetheless is a bit simplistic.

And Lili Dehn was trying to present Alexandra in the best possible light, so she's not going to say that her daughters were jealous of Alexei and constantly arguing with him and with each other, because that would reflect on Alexandra's abilities as a mother. That's what I meant by saying that her account is a bit rose-coloured.

[RealAnastasia]

Other good point to quote is that Alexei was an hemophiliac, so as most of sick child, he had an extra attention from his parents. And yes; his sister could have been a little jealous of this fact, but of course, they were also worried for Alexei por health.

RealAnastasia.

[Kalafrana]

Speaking from experience, I got very fed up with my asthmatic younger brother having an 'easy' time compared with me, and my mother apparently liking him better (and letting him get away with all the things I wasn't allowed to!). I still have a sense (and I'm nearly 50) that my mother took the approach that he needed looking after and therefore I didn't. I imagine that the two eldest girls, being 9 and 7 years older than Alexei, were rather better able to rationalise this matter than Maria and Anastasia (the gap between me and my brother is two years and nine months, and it probably didn't help matters that my parents were both the youngest in their respective families and had no idea of what it's like to be pushed aside when the next one arrives!).

Ann

[Olga Maria]

I presume that if Maria was envious towards Alexei,it could've been because he was a boy. Because he was a boy, he can spend more time with their father. We know Maria wanted much to be with their father, too. I think she wished to be a boy like her brother in order to do it. (but sorry for this nonsensical opinion)