Well, where to start?
Nicholas did not "try" to make the Duma work. It was hamstrung and ill-conceived from the first, and he devoted most of the first two years of its existence to undercutting any possible role it could have played in the governance of the empire. Among many other sources, see Figes, A People's Tragedy.
I do not think Nicholas was a spineless jellyfish. I think he was immature and unsuited to the task he faced by either temperament or training (surely we agree on that, Vanya?). But not spineless. He clung to a discredited idea long past the time it could be demonstrated to be effective for moving Russia to a workable government, i.e. the idea that Russia was his personal property.
I fault Alexandra not because she made him do things that he might not otherwise have done, but because she reinforced his immaturity, and thereby helped reduce any chance for change. I disagree with your assessment of her influence (once again, to me your post demonstrated exactly the opposite of what you intended), but in the end it doesn't matter. What matters, or rather mattered, was what Tsarfan has pointed out. It was the perception of her influence by pillars of the throne such as the Orthodox Church, the Army, the aristocracy and the extended Romanov family (who universally loathed her and blamed her for the troubles) that ultimately turned each of these against the monarch. And it is clear from her own letters that by the time the war rolled around, Alexandra had developed a siege mentality about the outside world. Nicholas was being told that only she was trustworthy, and that each of the above entities were potential snakes in his bosom: the Church for its opposition to Rasputin, Grand Duke Nicholas for his leadership of the army, and the family for, well, being the family. As I have also said, I think Roundling's insight into Alexandra's relationship with Rasputin is right on the roubles. I think she used him as a reference point to distract from the fact that the ideas she was presenting were her own. There is no credible evidence that Rasputin was capable of the kind of political maneuverings with which the Empress filled her letters to the Emperor.
I suppose that what I am saying boils down to this. I doubt there was anything that Nicholas qua Nicholas could have done to preserve the imperial throne, although I am not sure that it was an impossible task for any Tsar between 1894 and 1914. It would have required talent, and the practical ability to transform ideas into reality. There are precedents for this in Russian history, and even more specifically in Romanov dynastic history --- Peter I and Catherine II. It would have required a flexibility and intelligence that Nicholas simply did not possess.
That being said, I do assign a fair share of the blame to his wife. No previous Empress played the role she assumed in the marriage. The fact that she obviously had influence was not nocessarily a bad thing in and of itself. Had Alix of Hesse-Darmstadt taken a clue from her mother's family playbook, she might have used her influence to try and move Russia in the general direction of a constitutional monarchy. Her Aunt Victoria certainly did in Germany, although she was defeated by Friedrich III's cancer. The argument might be made that Alexandra was defeated byAlexei's hemophilia, but I don't think it stands. There is ample evidence that she was reactionary and imperious before Alexei's birth.
In the end, I suppose my answer to the question posed by this thread is "Abdicate. As soon as possible."