Imperial Family Claimants Post Here . . .

[Janet_W.]

Goodness, Tsar Doug, everything but the Bermuda Triangle and the Loch Ness Monster.

As for yours very truly, like Grand Duchess Melissa I have decided to stick around the Hotel del Coronado for a bit. (Rumor has it that the Duke and Duchess of Windsor met on these very premises, tho' I would say it is just rumor.) But because I am strickly a GD/GP on a budget--and, alas, the proceeds from my Neptune Pool tip jar have run out--I have signed on with an all-girl band as their lead singer. So if you happen to drift to San Diego, you'll see all 6 feet of me poured into one of those diaphonous, skin-tight, spangly dresses, complete with a blonde wig (our leader, Sweet Sue, demands that we present ourselves as blondes) and singing classic little ditties such as "I Wanna Be Loved By You." All the girls seem very friendly, though I'm having second thoughts about that saxaphone player.

So alas for spa dreams, for I must be a working GD/GP. And likewise I'm afraid that I cannot, as yet, get down to the race track, tho' rumor does have it that Valmontsky is not so very far away from the ponies. I suppose I will just need to be patient until Uncle Val contacts me. Once, you know, I used to be his favorite niece . . .  

Anyway, so glad to hear that Ortino II was rescued from the Nahlin. (Are people who sail on the Nahlin Nahlists? Just askin'  . . . ) But I'm not sure I'd take my chances with Tati, Anna and the budgies . . . airflight does put a crimp in my kokoshnik, and I'm not very fond of hanging upside down in trees.

As for Tsar Justinian, I suggest we issue an All Points Bulletin. I do hope Uncle Val and/or Tsar Doug refrained from doing anything nefarious.

Well, that's all for now . . . must ease my dainty little feet (remember, T.D.?) into those high heels I'm expected to strut around in.

Runnin' free, runnin' wild, I remain

The GD/GD Janet

[anna]

"Message in a ketchup bottle"

Dearies,

After rescuing Tati, Ortino II and the budgies, with da plane, I'm in big trouble myself. As spy I'm used to fly my own plane called "Princess Amalia", so we were on our way to Spa meeting Melissa. The budgies broke out of their cages because of Ortino's barking. Tati still suffering from her latest tree experience hung screaming around my neck and two budgies fluttered before my sunglasses....so I had a little  planecrash and two broken nails :-/

Luckily it was on the little atol "Howland" discoverd in 1625 by the famous Dutch captain Piet Hein, he became famous for conquering the Spanish silverfleet in 1628. I must say it felt quite safe to walk on private property. Sitting on the beach trying to dry our wet furs, Tati and I saw a little yacht on the horizon, whoopie!
There was a lot of singing, yelling and laughter on board of that yacht. We heard them sing..."16 courtiers on a sailor ship Yo Ho and a bottle of wine..."
Did they rescue us, no way The bbq party on board went on, and we got the empty heinz bottles on the beach. Bye Bye boat and Dougie

Tati and I listened to the showbiz news on the radio in our crashed plane, while eating some leftover blinis. They announced the GD Janet is playing in a girlsband and is friends with a saxophone player Josephine. I happened to know that isn't her real name, she's a he named Joe aka Junior. ( its good to be a spy). Junior is having a yacht too so please GD janet ask him to rescue us.
With messed up hair, dirty wet silk dresses, but eager to put Dougie dear's crown over his eyes when I meet him, we salut you. Hope we don't have to wait till friday when somebody shows up.

Anna and Tati

[Douglas]

NAHLIN:  at sea....day three.....all the furniture is gone,  now we are removing the paneling from the walls of the staterooms.....still keeping up steam.....Empress is in the galley cooking  some great meals with  food from the freezers.......I am steering the ship ....good to hear the GD Janet is happy in the all girl band, something kind of wild about that.....or is it Wilder?.....not sure......Anna: if you see a passing ship, send up a flare......just heard a radio report from New Caledonia......are we headed for OZ.......may have passed Hawaii yesterday......threw the Empress's jewel chest into the fire [hope she removed the jewels].......Anna:  keep you spirits up and be calm----help is on the way......"D"   :-/

[Janet_W.]

Who says displaced royals can't earn their own living? (If we're well-balanced, that is, and I've been told that I certainly am.   )  I'm having a grand ol' time here at the Hotel Del, singin' and swingin' with the all-girl band.  Lots of millionaires around, too, including one with a genuine yacht. He told me we could rescue you, Tsar Doug, if you are so inclined. I'm not sure about his navigational talents--in order to get out to the yacht the other evening, we had to go backwards in the motor boat--but I'm possitive we'd eventually find you.

Of course, all of us are waiting for Uncle Val to annouce his open palace party at Valmontsky. I'm sure it will be worth the wait.

In the meantime, all is very cool here in San Diego, tho' to be sure, some like it hot.  

The GD/GP Janet
a.k.a. Career Girl

[Douglas]

 NAHLIN  Oh yes, GD  Janet!  Please send the yacht right away.  We're down to the butcherblock and steering wheel......drifting slowly along.......seagulls screeching overhead.....sharks are circling.......we have our fishing lines over the side.......roasted a mock turtle last night.......a huge tanker passed yesterday but they only  dumped their  soil water on us........send the yacht right away.....will you be on it with your girlband?......."D"

[Douglas]

NAHLIN   We have taken  to the five lifeboats as the Nahlin is too low in the water and I was afraid she  would sink at any moment.......please ask the rescue yacht to make full speed as our lifeboats are heavy laden with gold bars and many canvas sacks  of the Empress's jewels.....besides that I had to pack on the lifeboats my eighty- five official imperial uniforms and swords....... our co-ordinates on the globe are.....122 degress west -south-east of Java and 360 degress west of the moon and east of the sun...is that clear, as we forgot our compass and cell phone???...."D"...trying to have a barbecue onboard the lifeboat and boil water for tea time....the life of a Tsar is ever full of adventure.......if you smell our barbecue, that is the signal that we must be near.........over and out..........

[Janet_W.]

So sorry, Tsar Doug . . . the girls and I were frolicking on the beach. One does become distracted.

Okay, Junior and I and The New Caledonia are ready to set sail . . . correction, set motor. Be on the lookout for a backwards yacht; if there's fog, just listen for the dulcet tones of Sweet Sue and her Society Syncopators.

[Douglas]

Onboard the Lifeboats  Thank you so much for the rescue....we were about to run out of caviar and filet mignon....being royal in a lifeboat is not easy....but it can be done......your band is wonderful and soothed our frayed nerves.....thanks for bringing the aloe for our sunburnt bodies.....BTW, where do you plan to take us?   Just wondering.  "D"

[anna]

Message in another heinz bottle

Dearies,

Yo Ho ....excuse me, what about us. Dougie dear I'm glad to hear over the radio you're sound and safe. You've been a pain in the neck but I can't live without you
Why didn't you bother to come ashore on Howland, you must have seen us dancing the mazurka around the fire.
Please get us out of here, Tati is already thinking she's born on a friday and jumping from tree to tree, she wants me to call her Jane The budgies settled themselves nicely in my balalaika and my fur is jumping around by itself because of sandfleas. But everything is okay do not worry about us.

I'm really a bit worried about our career girl GD Janet, royals can be so naïve in the real world. She's having that strange friend in the band Josephine,and she's quite upsy daisy about Junior and his yacht. Dearie don't you get it or better don't you see it. Nearly the same what happened with Irma La Douce, but that's another story.
If GD Janet can persuade Junior or whatever his/hers name is to rescue us with the yacht. I can explain everything about that saxophone player and I think someone is getting it very hot and leave straight home by train.

Building sandcastles while waiting......

Anna

[Douglas]

Dearest  Anna:

We do most sincerely apologize.  We just got so wrapped up in ourselves being stranded in the middle of the great Pacific Ocean that  you and your situation on Howland Island just slipped our sunburned brains.  So Sorry. But you know how that sun can really get to you even when my valet is holding an umbrella overhead.  

Our entire suite is now onboard the yacht New Caledonia and GD Janet is in charge of us.  I will ask her at dinner time if she is in the mood to swing over to Howland and fetch you.  But you know how she can be.  I cannot guarantee that she will agree to change course and head your way.  Do have something of value that you can exchange for your rescue?  This may help persuade the GD to change course.  Don't be offend, as you know, there is a price for everything, even for royals.  Got to go to tea now.....keep your spirit up...you're doing a great job of being royal on Howland.  I send you a hug and kiss. "D"

[Pravoslavnaya]

From the cage paper of HIH the Budgerigarevich DMITRI

DIARY ENTRY

Our sojourn on the island with our human and animal claimant friends has come to a suitable closure.  We are now on a Coast Guard cutter with our keeper and all those that accompanied us on the plane, including the heroic Anna and Tati.   It appears our keeper Sister E. was able to send out an SOS on her laptop computer to the Hermitage at Massandra and to the nearest outpost of the United States Coast Guard, who were able to zero in on our position thanks to the 'OnStar' function.   Every one of us is now high and dry.  All of us Imperial Budgies and Sister E. are feasting on vegetarian fare, and everyone else eats carnivorous fare.  The only problem is that the only ketchup allowed on US Government vessels is... horrors!  W Ketchup.  

From Guam a 727 will be flying Us to Australia, and our human claimant friends and their animal companions will head for Los Angeles, California.  From the great ancestral land of the Budgerigar (where the entire Imperial Budgerigar Court will make a state visit to Canberra and then return to Sydney), We will then fly to our beloved refuge in the Crimea and the Hermitage of At Least Three Saints With the Same Names as The Royal Martyrs.

Thank God!  DMITRI

[Douglas]

Dearest Pravo:

Thank you so much for coming to the immediate rescue of our dear little Anna and Tati.  I have just informed the GD Janet that there is no need for us to motor backwards toward that desolate place called Howland Island.  Please arrange to have Anna's furs sprayed with anti-flea agent.

But right at this moment I am very concerned about the exact direction  that the GD Janet is steering this wayward yacht called New Caledonia.

I may have to use my two-way wristwatch radio to effect another rescue.  I will again ask the GD in a very cordial manner as to her voyaging plans for this evening.  "D" ....still wondering as to the whereabouts of  the captain of the NAHLIN...the yacht itself I have heard is now run aground just outside of Sydney Harbor near Bondi Beach.

[Janet_W.]

From the Captain's Cabin of The New Caledonia.

Tsar Doug, I have no idea about the Nahlin and its captain. However, I can tell you that a dear tipsy old gent who has been tangoing with Daphne told me The Old Caledonia went down during a wild party off Cape Hatteras.

Anyway, I am so glad that we do not have to sail backwards to Howland Island after all . . . bad form, you know.

Junior is really everything I've ever wanted in a man, i.e., rich. He does remind me so very much of one of the girls in the band--Josephine--but of course we all have our masculine/feminine sides.

Anyway, excuse my haste in scribbling this note, but Junior will be returning from the little boy's room any minute. In the meantime, as you may have noted, we are sailing back (or is that sailing backwards) to San Diego, and then I understand traveling by train to our next gig. That is, unless Uncle Val is ready for his open palace at Valmontsky. In that case, I am sure that Josephine, Daphne, Sweet Sue and all the others would love to come along and meet Grand Duchess Melissa, Tati, Spy/GD Anna, Ortino II, and of course the dear dear budgies. (I do hope I'm not leaving anyone out, but I've been drinking champagne and you know how those bubbles go to my frothy blonde head, tee hee.) Oh golly, I just remembered--Tsar Justinian. What ever happened to him? I do hope Justy can join us, since Junior has told me that he has an aversion to Daphne and Josephine and may not be able to tag along, either to Uncle Val's or on the train. Millionaires are strange like that, I suppose.

BTW, I can't imagine what Anna meant about Irma La Douce, but I do know that not only am I a most resourceful royal, but I have also never fudged on my exams or punched out media members.

The occasionally horizontal but always upright

GD/GP Janet

[Douglas]

Greeting courtiers all:   After all the trails and tribulations the Empress has announced through her advisors that she no longer  enjoys the imperial and royal life, so she is moving back to the country to live on her estates.  [She actually is a peasant girl who climbed her way to the top and found it to be too much for her delicate constitution].  This leaves me without an empress.  My what a difference a day makes in royal circles.    "D"

[AnBhanfhaidh]

Note in diary:

Oh, how I wish I had waited for GD Melissa to pick me up in the limo. But, how do you say "no" to the boss. From a tree to a flea-infested island. At first, ever the optimist, I thought this would be quality bonding time with my mentor Master Spy Anna. However, she, in her annoyance with the Tsar (attempts to scratch that out as I realize if this fell into the wrong hands...), was very short with me.

As she ranted about the recent goings on - pies in faces, strandings here and there, I did gently suggest that perhaps GD Janet's allegiance to our Sovereign should be tested. The string of invectives that flung forth - well, let's just say, the trees started looking good again. At least I was away from the fleas!!!