Imperial Family Claimants Post Here . . .

[Janet_W.]

Dearest Tsar Doug,

No need to bring an extra change of trousers. Just make your way over to Valmontsky, and please bring all your friends . . . your valet, your ship's captain, and most especially Lillibet the Mechanic. In fact, she will be Special Guest of Honor, how's that for hospitality?

A costume also is not necessary, since we admire you most in your epaulets, plus your Admiral's cap and any other Napoleonic accessories that you chose to wear. Be advised, however, that before entering Valmontsky you will be walking through a security turnstile, and probably that hand stuffed in your shirtfront will need to removed, if however briefly.

Mere procedure, Tsar Doug, mere procedure.

At any rate, your tower suite awaiteth, and we look forward to welcoming you, Lillibet, and all your other friends/entourage at your earliest possible convenience.  Until then, T.D., I remain--

The GD/GP "Big Nurse" Janet

[anna]

Dearies,

To become one happy family again I play my balalaika and dedicate this song to Tsar Doug

Need you
Yeah
Tsar Doug, we need you so..ooo
We want you to know
That we're going to miss your laugh
The minute you walk out that door

(chorus)
So please don't go
Don't go..oooo
Don't go away
we're  begging you to stay

If you leave
At least in our lifetime
We've had one dream come true
We were blessed to be known
By someone as wonderful as you

(chorus)
Hey Hey Hey
Yeahh
Doug we need you so..ooo
We want you to know......

Hey Hey Hey
We need your laugh
We're down on our knees
Beggin' please, please, please
Don't go..ooo
Don't you hear us Doug
Please don't go

Don't leave us now
Oh no no no no
Please don't go

Anna and the Sunshine Band

[Janet_W.]

Second verse, same at the first . . .

[C'mon, ev-ree-body!]

The Musically Inclined GD/GP Janet

[Douglas]

All of  the Crew here on the Britannia are singing Anna's new song. Good grief,  I hear it day and night.  I'm sure it is headed for the Top Ten this week on the jukebox I had installed in the crew's lounge..  Also I see a Grammy sitting on Anna's table at her palace.  I'm making a lot of money off that tune....and it all goes to  the Imperial Relief Fund for royals with no place to call home.  I plan a new Home for Royals in Kansas...to be called Dorothy's Place.

The former Queen of England, now engine mechanic and welder, will also be attending the festivities at Vals' place in Baja.  I'll make sure that she is not too oily  from her engine work and  that she is at least  [shhhh...sober].  "D"

[Douglas]

Top Secret  We have just dropped anchor at Easter Island.  What a strange wacko place.  There are lots of these weird statues standing around doing nothing.  But I have a great idea.  We are having them recarved in the facial likeness of the entire imperial court.  Now we can all be facing out to sea forever.  Cool idea, yes?  Even Ortino II will have his own little doggie statue........"D" ...always looking for fun things to do........

[Janet_W.]

Dear Fellow Claimants With Loving Hearts:

Please check all porphyria websites and then get back to me. We can, and we will, conquer this dread condition that is not only part of our heritage but has clearly taken over one of our own.  

I understand hallucinations re: Easter Island are one of the symptoms.

The caring

GD/GP Janet

[Douglas]

Easter Island  We're camped out here on the island.  Will someone please contact GD Janet and see if she wants her royal likeness to be forever enshrined on this desolate, lonely island in the middle of nowhere.  The sculpters are waiting.   We can't wait forever, you know.  We're down to last   statue to be updated.  If we  don't get an answer right away we'll just have to weigh anchor and move on.  This is a very important  matter and must be attended to.  "D" ....Elizabeth, our royal engineroom mechanic,  has the boilers up to full steam and she can't be made to wait much longer or we'll  blow a gasket.

[Janet_W.]

Sigh..............   :-/


GD/GP Janet  

[Douglas]

 onboard Britannia....Well we've had to steam on.  I thought that GD Janet would like to be forever remembered on this fabulous Mount Rushmore of the south Pacific but she only sighed and made a face.  I was reminded that the World Press failed to show up for our Grande Unveiling of the Statues.  

I ask you, is this just another of my schemes to bring glory to the royals of Russia that has gone bad?  I'm beginning to wonder if my ideas need some revising.

Sailing along on smooth seas when all of a sudden POW...we were hit with a typhoon..........static...static.....static........May  have to send a radiogram to Anna and Tati for help.........

[Janet_W.]

Why do I have the feeling Tsar Doug is operating from his bathtub?

Whatever the case, he's certainly King of  'de Nile.

Okay, stand by, fellow Claimants. I think this one's going to require more than one net.

Yours for Designer Straitjackets--

GD/GP Janet

[anna]

Sorry Dougie dear, this time you have to sink on your own, I don't like the thought of a wet petticoat again. Too busy with wedding preparations ( If there ever is one, no sign of Junior.... maybe he's gone with Daphne catching the high noon train. Do we ever get at Valmontsky, Tsar Valmont will we cobwebbed by now

Anna

[Douglas]

Dearest Anna:  onboard the Britannia We just missed the typhoon and ...all is going well here on the yacht and our wonderful engineer Princess  Lillibet is doing her best to keep the engine running.  We're headed at full speed for the harbour of Tijuanna, Baja and the gala at Valmontsky Palace.  I'm taking a bath in the tub next to my cabin suite and the water is chock full of my rubber duckies and little boats.  I love those colorful beads of bath oil and I put them all in the water.  I wonder if GD Janet will be there for the grande eventski.  None have us have heard a word about Jr. in recent weeks....I wonder if they are still...you know what?  You know how it is with the GD Janet, we always wonder about her uprightness and horizontalness.  Remember when she tried that dreadful blonde wig?  Yikes, it almost caught fire from the candles on the cake.  Anyways, hope all is well with you in Tulipland and hope to see you at Valmontski for the event of the century........"D"

PS:  That was a wonderful song you wrote.  We all cried when we sang it after dinner the other day.  No one was sure if it is a happy or sad song. The former Queen of England just loved it and tears ran down her  coal stained face. It was very moving. Are you related to Cole Porter?  We think of you night and day.

[anna]

Dougie dear,

My song is also a big hit in Tulipland it's heading the number one in the Popcharts QB loves it and Maxima sings it on her karaoke parties.
I think my family is related to Nat King Cole --fathers side. Tell you all about it at the wedding ball.

Anna

[Janet_W.]

I myself am related to Old King Cole. And a merry old soul was he, by the way.

Yes, it is amazing how a mere 19 candles can pose a threat to a blonde wig. Nonetheless, a similar event happened recently with Junior and myself, and you know what? He's fine with the wig--says it's rather exciting, in fact.    Ah, what relief . . .

Tsar Doug, you know how we affianced types are, but I do hope you will ask Princess Lillibet to wash up before the wedding. I understand she is a very huggy sort of person, and I simply cannot tolerate all that icky coal dust on my immaculate silver tissue dress.

And yes, I do remain both upright and horizontal, as becomes a soon-to-be bride.

The blushing

GD/GP Janet

[Douglas]

Honolulo Seems that we've been sidelined here at the Naval Station at Pearl Harbor, Hawaii.  The Princess is out on the town with the engineroom crew to see the sights and have a pint or two with some sailors.  I am sure this goes back to her newlywed days with the Prince.  Yes, I will try and have Lillibet dusted off before we arrive at your wedding.  

GD Janet, you say nineten candles?  There must be something wrong with the math or am I missing something?

I just got word from Queen Anne of England that she is veddy bored with being the monarch and desires that I might become the King of England.  Can you imagine that...King and Tsar at the same time!  WOW, what a headline that will make.  Maybe I will at long last be on Nightline and the BBC.  "D"

Anna: Nate King Cole?  Are you sure about that dearest?  You're not from Indonesia are you or one of the other Dutch colonies ?? Anyway, it doesn't matter, we love you whatever your royal background is.