Author Topic: Imperial Family Claimants Post Here . . .  (Read 202621 times)

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Offline Valmont

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Re: Imperial Family Claimants Post Here . . .
« Reply #225 on: June 18, 2004, 09:43:53 AM »
Hello,
Just a few lines to say Hello and ¬ give you the latest update on our proyects.
Right now, The valmont Foundation is taking aplicactions for people who would like to appear in the film about my life, there are basicly no requirements except they will not be persuing the leading role, for the Vamont Foundation reserves ¬ the right to exclude those aplicants from the ¬ casting.
On the Same hand, We are also taking aplications for a proyect whose outcome ¬ will change the course of humanity and will solve one of the greatest mysteries of the Modern World. "How ¬ Uncle francesco escaped the Bolcheviks". If you feel you have what it takes to be a part of any of these proyects, please contact us at:

www. I_wanna_be_a_movie_star.com
or
www.Iwantthegold.com

We promise ¬ you that the information provide will be handled as confidential and will not be sold to any mailing list or blackmailing company.

This segment was sponsered by viewers like you and the ¬ Valmont Foundation. ¬ "We just want to get the Gold"

The Valmont Foundation
Valmontsky Palace
Tijuana, BC
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 06:00:00 PM by Valmont »
Arturo Vega-Llaus√°s

Offline Ilana

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Re: Imperial Family Claimants Post Here . . .
« Reply #226 on: June 18, 2004, 12:17:47 PM »
I would like to visit you at the Valmont Foundation, but I don't know how to woof in Spanish.  

GD Maidel Barkinsky-Woofinsky Romanovsky
So long and thanks for all the fish

Offline Douglas

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Re: Imperial Family Claimants Post Here . . .
« Reply #227 on: June 19, 2004, 01:48:11 PM »
Dear  Courtiers:

I haven't posted recently because I did suffer a paper cut on my index finger.  I sent for Dr. Kinbot and he applied a plaster and I should be back to my royal duties by Monday.  Thank you Anna for your kind words of your most gracious encouragement.  I remain your  friend, plain and simple...'D'

Offline anna

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Re: Imperial Family Claimants Post Here . . .
« Reply #228 on: June 20, 2004, 05:31:01 PM »
Royal Dearies,

Ah Douglas, does it hurt ;D Glad you had Dr. Kinbot, he's really the best. He ones helped me when I was stuck between the strings of my balalaika ( only my fingers) :-/ I think you pointed you're index finger to much on the map with uncle Franceso's treasure.

Tio Valmont you asked me in which country I'm living at the moment. What do you think, famous for its Tulips, wooden- shoes, coffee-bars and of course my colleague-spy was born here ( Mata Hari). Holland :D

The Royal Family (The House of Orange) -awfully nice guys- are related to The Russian Royal Family. Anna Pavlovna was the wife of King Willem II of Oranje Nassau. So you see my connections come in handy.
One day I shall introduce you to HRH Princess Maxima-
wow that lady swings-. She's from Argentina there must be no problems with language and drinks I suppose.

It's very late and I do must get some sleep. Have to do a lot of spying tomorow.

Goodnight my dearies, sleep well,

Anna 8)

BTW: Don't you dare think I'm wearing wooden-shoes. And for the expedition you can loan my elephant I recently received from Harrods ;)
Watch your thoughts, they become words. Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become character. Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.

NAAOTMA

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Re: Imperial Family Claimants Post Here . . .
« Reply #229 on: June 21, 2004, 06:14:20 PM »
Anna dear,

I finally found a use for teabags! While the Court would never actually drink tea made from teabags, and Mr. Paul Burrell would never dream of having them on the Imperial Shopping List, I can say that lukewarm teabags are great when used as soothing eyepoultices when resting in the afternoon. Avoid the black tea types-the chamomile are really quite delightful though...it will brace you up for balalaikas and spying...don't overdo, my dear. P.S. Harrods is amazing, yes?

Dear Tsar Doug,

Do hope the papercut is on the mend. I myself am bracing for my children's annual holiday next week. I am always happy when the little darlings are back in school, but for now must be the "mum with the mostest"...we will make Imperial themed pinatas, picnic with PB&J by the lake, and generally do whatever it takes to make the girlies happy. After that cozy week of togetherness, it will make my Imperial-ordered tasks seem like a veritable "piece of cake" as they say...

Dear All,

Have you seen yourselves in the June Special Issue of "Majesty Magazine"??? Quite a handsome group, despite looking a little worse for wear around the edges...perhaps that was the "Margarita Effect" the photograher was scolding us about when the group shot was taken on the Jordan Staircase in the Winter Palace...all in all, quite touching.  Caio for now, Melissa & Ortino II

Offline Douglas

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Re: Imperial Family Claimants Post Here . . .
« Reply #230 on: June 22, 2004, 08:03:19 PM »
Most Cordial  Greetings

Dear Lady Anna:  Oh, I do feel so much better.  Yes,  there is  none other like our dear Dr. Kinbot and his son.  He says he'll always be with us, even unto the end.  Also,  the Empress and I want to thank you for the wonderful fruit basket that you had delivered.  We especially loved the little chocolate crowns that were covered in 24k gold leaf.  So nice.  Also, we are enjoying the CD you had made of your wonderful balalaika music.  Just like the  old days.

Greetings Melissa:  Hope you and the girls have recovered  from that journey to nowhere, USA.  It was a great pleasure to have the little ones here  again for some more of their favorite B/P&J  sandwiches. I can still see sweet little fingerprints all over the table.  I do remember dear auntie Victoria talking on and on about how wonderful the late Earl of Sandwich in that he actually invented the 'sandwich'.  The Empress and I would probably  starve to death if it were not for our little petit four  treats.  We love them with caviar and cottage cheese.  That's about it for this evening.  D & E ...PS: Long live Ortino II!!!   Hurrah, hurrah and give him a little pat on the head for us.  

Offline _Rodger_

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Re: Imperial Family Claimants Post Here . . .
« Reply #231 on: June 23, 2004, 11:42:08 AM »
Having met in emergency session, with the Sargent at Arms Mr. Elmer T. Fudd present, the Claimant Committee must protest the misguided elitist, divisive,  and authoritarian attempt to divide the Claimant Community into two separate categories.  

We can only imagine the nefarious motives behind such a transparent attempt to undermine the Committee's true authority and confuse the minds of all would-be claimants.   >:(

What is more, we find the invitation to be outright cynical, because the posting person has failed to ask for money up front, which in our opinion is not only unethical, it is very unprofessional too.

Caveat Emptor!  There is only one true Claimant thread.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 06:00:00 PM by _Rodger_ »
WARNING!!!!  This post may be hazardous to one's sense of things.  Read with caution.

NAAOTMA

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Re: Imperial Family Claimants Post Here . . .
« Reply #232 on: June 23, 2004, 10:11:05 PM »
Dear All,

Is there any bit of truth to the rumor sweeping St. Petersburg that Tsar Doug is initiating a new order: The Order of the Imperial Claimant Playpen?

Waiting with baited breath, Melissa & Ortino II

D-E

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Re: Imperial Family Claimants Post Here . . .
« Reply #233 on: June 23, 2004, 11:34:48 PM »
June 23,  in the Year of Our  Lord 2004

Greetings  Courtiers One & All:

Please be advised that  a New Order is now available.  It will be awarded to only those that qualify as  Imperial Playpen Participants Par Excellence....all others will be shown the little door that leads to the tea party that is hosted be Princess Alice,  the Imperial  white rabbit and Ortino II.

We had dear old Mr. Faberge  make it up.  It is a  little solid gold playpen in bas-relief with rubies round the top and diamond feet and hung a on a satin ribbon of  Imperial  colours.

By Direction of His Majesty, Count  Dorffbencken.,  P.S. Please send one to Countess Melissa this very day!


Offline Douglas

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Re: Imperial Family Claimants Post Here . . .
« Reply #234 on: June 24, 2004, 12:02:26 AM »
Dear Courtiers:

Hello fellow co-Tsar Valmont! I send you our best wishes today but the Empress and I were a little disappointed that you were so dismissive  of my recent accident to the index finger. Have you ever had a paper cut?  I am telling you it can be very painful.  Do you realize that I had to call immediately for Dr. Kinbot.  He had to be awakened from his three hour noonday siesta!  The poor old man staggered to his feet, grabbed his little black bag and rushed to my side.  I had to wear a bandaid all day and half the night!

But that's alright my dear friend,  you might  not know of such things as you are the greatest maker of the Margarita in North America or even the entire world!  

I hope that someday I may the pleasure of you personally mixing one of your magnificent  refreshments for myself and the entourage right there at your palace in B.C.

If Mr. Lopresti should arrive at your door please give him my regards and check him from head to toe.  You can never be too safe.    All the best....D. & E.

Offline Valmont

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Re: Imperial Family Claimants Post Here . . .
« Reply #235 on: June 24, 2004, 09:26:23 AM »
Check him from head to toe??

I have an Elephant's trap all set and ready to go right under my front door....
Arturo Vega-Llaus√°s

Offline anna

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Re: Imperial Family Claimants Post Here . . .
« Reply #236 on: June 24, 2004, 12:15:51 PM »
My Dearies,

Tio Valmont:As a matter of fact I got an invitation ( dinner at Mcdonald's) from a certain Prince Michael Michaelovsky Romanov. He's here for business. Its obvious he's after that tiara, ( It was in the paper today or yesterday). He once saw a picture Maxima wearing it. Queen B inherited some jewels from Anna Pavlovna. He's confinced Maxi ownes that tiara know.
I'll keep this little Prince on a string and see what more I can find. We meet again this evening and I'm going to play my balalaika, that will knock him out for sure :)
Watch my elephant doesn't fall into your trap.

Dougie: Nice to read you're fine thanks to DR.Kinbot. Did I really send you fruit and chocolate? I never send gifts, I rather receive. It must have been my PR-agent,  private secretary or maybe my bodyguard and chauffeur Boris. How's your little Empress and her sister. Does Melissa serve them well? Tell her the teabags did wonderful things for my eyebags(does this word exist?)Anyway I love to rhyme.

I presume I'm qualified for that IPPPPE?

Oh dearies I must hurry, MMR is waiting is his
Limo (I prefer Rolls) but wth dinner is free ;)

Anna 8)
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 06:00:00 PM by admin »
Watch your thoughts, they become words. Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become character. Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.

NAAOTMA

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Re: Imperial Family Claimants Post Here . . .
« Reply #237 on: June 24, 2004, 01:35:24 PM »
Dear Tsar Doug &  HIH Empress,

Just a quick note to say that the new Imperial Order arrived via private messenger from the Palace about thirty minutes ago. It is simply divine! The ribband is Imperial gold and black. So thoughtful of the Empress to insist on sending along two other ribbands-one of lovely mauve and one of "Romanov Blue (as in eye color) for clever changes to match one's outfit! I am sure everyone will just love it (well, almost everyone...)!!!!

I can say that I am a wee bit concerned that I started out an HIH by order of Tsar Doug, and then was referred to as a Princess, and now am a Countess...let's just make sure I don't drop any lower, or I won't be able to hold up my humble head in this thread...though, let's be clear that Countess is fine with me, as of course it is my love of the Imperial Family, not a title, which keeps me so devoted to current crop of Claimants! Does not my service in SantaFeGrad count for something? I swear I will not, as GD Janet has said so wittily in previous posts, become "too big for my kokoshnik" in regards to the title thing!  Devotedly, Melissa & Ortino II


Offline Valmont

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Re: Imperial Family Claimants Post Here . . .
« Reply #238 on: June 25, 2004, 11:16:59 AM »
NAAOTMA,
I Understand what you are talking about, but why do you even care to feel bad about it?, you are part of the crowd who sits on the "cool table"so, who cares if you are a princess or a lady in waiting??.. Do not think about it...Focus your efforts in getting some donations to sponsor our expedition...and who is this person who calls me Co-Tsar?
Why Security had not done anything about this person??   Inquiry minds... want to know...
Arturo Vega-Llaus√°s

NAAOTMA

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Re: Imperial Family Claimants Post Here . . .
« Reply #239 on: June 25, 2004, 01:04:57 PM »
Dear Imperial Valmont,

Of course, you are so right. Sitting at the "cool table" and devoting myself to the Imperial Claimant Cause is enough in itself...

I am having a bakesale to raise funds for  THE CLAIMANT CAUSE...the girls and Ortino and myself are very busily churning out brownies-from-the-box and cookies-from-the-dough-tube in this Imperial effort. It will raise money, and also keeps my little dearies out of the mall...just need Ortino to stop licking the bowl between dough batches...

I have regained my focus on WHAT REALLY MATTERS! Thank you for your thoughtful words, which have led me back to my life mission with renewed faith and a humble heart. Titles-shymittles, as they say...whatever Tsar Doug settles on is just fine with me.

As for your confusion re: Co-Tsardom, please do refer all things relating to that matter to Tsar Doug. I am in no way authorized or able to comment on such matters. I am sure you and he can work things out in friendly discussion. Please give everyone in Tiajuana my very best regards and wishes for a happy weekend in Margaritaland.

Melissa & Ortino II