Oh my dear Griffh, I am so sorry all this marvelous creation that you've put your heart and soul into is gone. My heart hurts.
On the otherhand what a wonderful journey you are on now. I've always said you needed to write a book and am so thrilled that the process is happening. I also enjoyed when you wrote about all the womens' clothes from different eras. Most of all I do hope that some day you will write a biography. Goodness, I am planning out your life here. LOL
You do what you need to do to complete your project and we'll be waiting here for you when the opportunity arises to share and read your book.
I'll never forget your dreams about Alexandra. She must be very close to you.
Love,
barb
You know, Barb, it is so interesting that you should mention the dreams.
I am not sure if you meant the reoccurring dream I used to have of the Empress when I was young. It would always start on a lovely Spring or early Summer morning at about 11am which is my favorite time of day. I would be walking in a lovely tree filled garden of some estate not unlike the ones in our neighborhood when I was young.
All of the sudden I would come to a clearing with a beautifully manicured lawn that surrounded the back of a handsome mansion and I could see a large veranda with a balustrade. As I would walk towards the staircase up to the veranda I would see this lovely woman. She was very gentle and ladylike. I remember how much I wanted to speak with her as I knew when I got closer that she was the Empress. She was in her mid-to-late twenties and at the height of her beauty. I remember that she had the cleanest, nicest fragrance, not at all like my mother or grandmother's perfumes which were very nice but more flowery. She never seemed to mind that I had been walking in her garden and after a brief introduction she always made me feel so at ease and then would start to tell me things about her life. I remember trying to find a pencil and piece of paper and I think the dream would always end at that point. I am sure that all my impressions in my dream came from all the things I had read about the Empress.
The other dream I had that started when I was in my late teens, was seeing the Empress and her daughters, in the softest neo-classic chiffon gowns, slowly gliding over the top of a horrid little scrubby forest that was almost colorless. I remember trying so hard to count the Empress' daughters to see if they were all with her. I never could seem to do so, but I remembered feeling this sense of peace and harmony even though the setting was so forlorn and ugly.
I was reminded of this dream just days ago from a photograph in the new King/Wilson book on Anna Anderson, neé Franziska Schamzkowska. On the bottom of page 68 there is a photograph of the now famous Koptyaki Forest outside Ekaterinburg which really startled me when I saw it. All one would have to do is walk through the clearing in the photograph and walk to the right and then look back at that bank of trees in the distance to see exactly that part of the forest that I saw in my dream.
I am not a mystic or a spiritualist or anything like that, and sharing these dreams must not be the smartest thing for me to do, especially at this juncture in my life while writing about the Empress; and I am sure that it weakens my credibility in some people's minds, but none the less they were my dreams and I cannot pretend that they were not.
Well just to say, Barb, I like your plans for my life and it might be fun at some point in the future to think about writing an autobiography, but as Alixz says, I have got to get this book finished first. Best Griff