This may not be the right place to ask this... Why did Victoria's relationship with Alice deteriorate? I know that they had a difference of opinion about Victoria's choice of husband for Helena. What I do not understand is how Alice went from savior to her mother to not wanting her around? Alice was an amazing woman---was the queen jealous of all that Alice was doing in Darmstadt?
Queen Victoria never demonstrated any jealousy of that kind whatsoever in relation to any of her daughters. She was, however, very jealous of her 'rights' as a parent, which, in fairness to her point of view, was that of a sovereign as well and any of her children who interfered in her family dispositions did so at the risk of a disruption in a good relationship with her. QV wrote in great detail to Vicky after the row in 1866 over Lenchen of Alice having "injured herself [with the Queen] by the way in which she spoke to many people about Lenchen and her remaining in England - and made great mischief with Louise, and both her brothers. Then, after originally at Darmstadt recommending Christian as so amiable and likely to do, she abused him and spoke in a very improper way of one who bears a very high character and has high principles and is one of the kindest and best people I know. Then she very rarely spoke kindly of poor Lenchen in her letters to me - and when she wrote, wrote bitterly to her. In short poor Alice was jealous - not because she wished to come because that is very natural and right, but about many things. I know people can't help that, and Alice is irritable and sharp. I think she in not strong and those large children so quick one after another have tried her very much. I only dreaded fresh mischief in the house and, rather than have that – which my health and nerves could not bear, for they require great quiet – I said I could not have Alice. But if she will be loving and affectionate to all, and not speak to Louise (who unfortunately is most indiscreet and then that makes great mischief very often) about Lenchen I shall be only too happy to have her with me, for my love is ever the same – God knows. I subscribe to every word you say about life being so short that there ought to be nothing but love and affection. It was never written to Alice that I wished the one and not the other [Helena] to be with me – and that the two sisters were not to meet......"
As QV’s family grew older, marriages became more and more contentious as various political interests intruded and her adult children had differing views which were less and less easy to accommodate. In these situations, relations became strained despite Alice’s strong support while Prince Albert was dying.
Whether political considerations were involved in Alice’s change of attitude towards Prince Christian, or whether some other factor was at work (we don’t have Alice’s side of the story), QV clearly became very annoyed at Alice’s attitude and there was a long breach between them. The detailed letter to Vicky came after the Queen had mixed up the envelopes of two letters, one to Vicky in which she had complained about Alice, and one to Alice which was presumably frosty but not so explicit – something the Queen very seldom did and which perhaps demonstrated how disturbed she was at the situation. The mix-up had one good effect however in that Alice then apparently apologised to QV’s satisfaction and relations improved – though there were explosions in the future. However, Alice was by no means the only target and all the children had run-ins with their mother at one time or another – about her seclusion, her dependence on John Brown, alleged mischief making, etc. etc., with only Prince Arthur largely escaping and even he became exasperated with his mother at times, though was too discreet to either show it or rebel in a more obvious way. It was sad that Alice and QV fell out in this way – but both were strong characters and clashes happen in the best of families. And it didn't last.
