Author Topic: FOXED - For those who want to know the Truth  (Read 40835 times)

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Offline Terence

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Re: FOXED - For those who want to know the Truth
« Reply #135 on: March 07, 2013, 10:12:43 PM »
Alright, then. I have finished the book, and by the way, I would like a medal.

This may be the worst book I have ever read, and I am including the Danielle Steele novel I downed once while on vacation because there was literally nothing else available (and I mean nothing else; before I turned to it, I had read the back of every cereal box in the cabinet and the instructions on a bottle of Listerine, all of which were better than Princess Daisy. But I digress.)
olds writing fanfiction, but this doesn't even rise to that level, and the damn thing costs over ten bucks. Run. And don't look back...

I forget. Did I mention the medal?

Thanks Simon, glad you took the hit for the rest of us.  And kudos on your award!
T


Offline TimM

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Re: FOXED - For those who want to know the Truth
« Reply #136 on: March 08, 2013, 01:31:34 AM »
Alright, then. I have finished the book, and by the way, I would like a medal.

This may be the worst book I have ever read, and I am including the Danielle Steele novel I downed once while on vacation because there was literally nothing else available (and I mean nothing else; before I turned to it, I had read the back of every cereal box in the cabinet and the instructions on a bottle of Listerine, all of which were better than Princess Daisy. But I digress.)

Let's start with the poor quality of the Kindle edition itself. I don't mind an occasional glitch, but FOXED is littered with sentencesthatlook@##$likethisthatyouhavetodecipheralthoughwhenyoudoyoudiscoverthattheyaremeaninglesssowhybother. As I said, the occasional error is fine, but if you are charging people $13.50 a pop to read it, clean the damn thing up.

The writing. Oh my dear God, the writing. If I started to quote from the awkward sentences, we would be here until the turn of the next century. The writing is so bad that it could be used to illustrate a dictionary definition of bad writing. And that's not the worst part of the book!!! Although it will be the part that prevents most people from finishing FOXED. Did I mention the medal?

Quote
The characters. The characters in this book make those on MORK AND MINDY look like studies in gritty social realism. Not one behaves in a remotely coherent manner. Not one. They basically exist to get the crackpot theories with which the book abounds across, so there isn't much point in wasting time describing them. My personal favorites were the devoted but hunky priest who tosses his vocation aside after a smoldering pasta lunch with Tonya, whose exact role I never did figure out. Or was it Julianna, the free-spirited sculptress fixated on the Arctic exploreer's widow? Or Alice, the mysterious Orthodox woman who can talk to the dead? See what I mean?

The plot. Hoily Mother of God, the plot. Nicholas and Alexandra and the kids were rescued; no, they weren't; yes, they were; alright, let's just take it for granted that they were so we can get back to overwrought descriptions of mysterious Baronesses with creamy skin and bewitching eyes, and Admiral Kolchak, and Fox, and how the word iron is a code for something whenever it appears and --- I can't go on, I'd turn to salt.

Look. I have no problem with 12 year-olds writing fanfiction, but this doesn't even rise to that level, and the damn thing costs over ten bucks. Run. And don't look back.

I forget. Did I mention the medal?


Thanks for taking one for the team, Simon.
Cats: You just gotta love them!

Offline Forum Admin

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Re: FOXED - For those who want to know the Truth
« Reply #137 on: March 08, 2013, 03:38:34 AM »
One small correction, Princess Daisy was not written by Danielle Steel.  It was written by Judith Krantz.  Her son Tony was one of my closest friends at Beverly High.  I actually ponied up and bought a copy of Scruples the day it came out and she kindly autographed it to me.

The steaming (tho not steamy) pile of verbiage that is "Foxed" truly makes both Danielle Steel and Judy Krantz look like Turgenev and Tolstoy in comparison.  Caxton Brown's verbiage (surely something so poorly constructed and badly written can not be called a "work" as to do so would insult any genuine writer who actually "worked" to write something) is truly more akin to some hapless middle aged Hillbilly who has pathologically narcissistic delusions of being the next wealthy and glamorous Danielle Steele, so she squats in a squalid single-wide crack house filled with cats in some back water town and stuffs her face with Cheetos and McDonalds whilst drunkenly pounding away at a keyboard well into the wee hours, without even the skill to know her grammar is hopeless, without the intelligence to know her syntax is inept,  and without any grounding in reality to know that her story, well, that her story is laughably beyond the realm of even plausible.
« Last Edit: March 08, 2013, 09:00:27 AM by Forum Admin »

Offline Kalafrana

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Re: FOXED - For those who want to know the Truth
« Reply #138 on: March 08, 2013, 04:47:59 AM »
That settles it! I'm not going looking for this book, even as light relief!!!!!

Simon
I am most impressed by your dedication.

Ann

Offline Ilana

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Re: FOXED - For those who want to know the Truth
« Reply #139 on: March 08, 2013, 09:56:10 AM »
My dear forum admin,
Have you considered doing book reviews... you are hilarious!!!
So long and thanks for all the fish

Offline Kalafrana

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Re: FOXED - For those who want to know the Truth
« Reply #140 on: March 08, 2013, 11:03:33 AM »
I do agree.

Forum Admin, your review reminds me of Gibbon's fulminations against Byzantium!

Ann

Offline TimM

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Re: FOXED - For those who want to know the Truth
« Reply #141 on: March 08, 2013, 11:05:26 AM »
I agree, FA's review was funny!
Cats: You just gotta love them!

Offline Louis_Charles

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Re: FOXED - For those who want to know the Truth
« Reply #142 on: March 08, 2013, 05:05:30 PM »
Gee, Rob. That's really some image.
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Offline Janet Ashton

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Re: FOXED - For those who want to know the Truth
« Reply #143 on: March 08, 2013, 06:08:46 PM »


Thanks for taking one for the team, Simon.


Lord forgive me; when I read this phrase I can't help remembering the South Park episode when Butters has to "take one for the team".

[I know kids come here, so - well - delete me if you will, moderators; I'll understand. :-D]
Shake your chains to earth like dew
Which in sleep had fallen on you -
Ye are many; they are few.