[I have received the warning that a new reply has been posted since I was composing this, but I shall throw caution to the wind and submit it anyway!]
There is a quote, attributed to Fontaine, which goes something like this: "Each man is three men: How he sees himself, how others see him, and who he really is."
This ongoing discussion/power struggle about Elisabeta might seem trivial to many . . . and, from certain points of view, I'd have to agree.
But for many of us it boils down to this: What is personality? Are we born with it? Is it formed, say, by the first five years? Are we doomed by matters of genetics and/or environment? Do we have free will?
I, too, have wondered about Elisabeta. I've read either negative or noncommital/cryptic remarks about her in every publication I've accessed that covered, briefly or in a bit more detail, the arc of her (rightly or wrongly) disparaged life. And BTW, I've noted that alone of her immediate family, Elisabeta is missing from the photos taken during the summer 1914 visit of the Romanovs.
Here's where I become personal. I detested being with my family when I was a teenager and often stayed home. Why? Partly because I had raging hormones and wanted to be with people my own age. Partly because I was suffering from severe acne and felt embarrassed to be in public. But in very large part because my family was what I now have the vocabulary to say dysfunctional. For one thing, my mother--whom I loved very much, but definitely was a strong and self-involved personality--was very much about image, i.e., "Let's put up a good front," her typical clarion call. Conversely, though, she wasn't above verbally abusing my father in front of family friends, and he--in turn--occasionally issued "I'm just kidding" verbal riptostes to her. Those of you who've gone through this with your own parents know what I'm talking about . . . how the mere fact of a long-term marriage does not necessarily indicate happiness. And we won't even get into the unctuous behavior of my sibling, but that I have for many years refered to her as such might give you an indication of the status of our [non]relationship.
So this is what I am saying: Whether some people are simply born bad--Hitler? the fictional children from "The Bad Seed" and "The Omen"?--or are negatively and irreparably damaged by their surroundings, or choose of their own free will to be a saint or a sinner, I am not certain. But Elisabeta, who apparently lived a life not well-lived, is certainly a subject worth studying, if only so we do not ourselves bring forth future Elisabetas.
A friend of mine once said that "everyone has a different set of parents." He was from a family of ten, so I figure he knew what he was talking about! What he was saying was that birth order often has a great deal to do with personality, not always because of the birth order itself but because of where the parents were in their own lives when they conceived, gave birth, and brought up each child.
Despite the individual virtues of Nando and Marie, I have to think their unhappy marriage bore predictable fruit. That Elisabeta took a particular route in dealing--or not dealing--with the discord all about her also seems predictable. I would very much respect the input of any child psychologist--or, for that matter, psychologists--who could offer their professional opinions on what causes a child to "go bad," using--if enough information is available--the example of Elisabeta.
And in the meantime--in the interest of civility, if not character building--I wonder if we could all consider, before we post our comments, what we say and how it might be perceived by others. None of us here should be above what is often referred to as The Golden Rule.
