We can argue this subject endlessly. The bottom line is that they were both wrong for the job. Good parents they were, he was a good husband, but she was not Empress material and he was totally inept. Sure, they were Royal, and in charge of the largest country on earth, but that does not automatically qualify them for the job.
They went to Tsarkoe to protect the Dynasty from the revolutionaries. You read this in every history book on Russia.
So whether you look at the situation " with 20th century glasses" or "21st century" glasses it makes no difference. They withdrew from the Russian people and their duties as rulers of their country, and suffered the consequences. They inflicted it on themselves.
If you are the ruler of a country, you rule, you are seen, you open hospitals, launch ships, mix with people you dont necessarily like, go on royal tours, eat with the peasants, but you get out there and do the job until the day you die. That is what Royalty is all about. Its not for the faint hearted. Elizabeth II is a perfect example. She is in her 80's and she is still slogging away. the Queen Mother was the same.
Compare her to Alexandra !!
You do not hide away, lie on you mauve chaise longue all day, and criticise everyone and everything, and ignore good advice.
I think Nicholas and Alexandra would have saved themsleves and their country and millions of lives had they abdicated in favour of someone more suitable. Neither of them were suitable. The end result proves their ineptitude.
And there were suitable family members in the Romanov family, who would have done a better job. I dont think Russians thrive on being ruled by weaklings. They like a bit of bloodshed and domination. Ivan the Terrible and Stalin, President Putin, its part of their nature, and part of Mother Russia. Russians are tough people.
AS QUEEN MARY SAID TO ONE OF HER CHILDREN WHEN THEY COMPLAINED ABOUT DOING ROYAL DUTIES :
" We are the British Royal family, we are never tired, and we love visiting hospitals"
Perhaps if they followed the same line of thought, and got closer to their people, many things would have been very different.
Queen Mary is also quoted as saying, in James Pope Hennessy's famous biography of her, that Alexandra was, because of her attitudel, responsible for the Russian revolution.
There were also other factors, but it does make one think !
We could argue about this endlessly as well, but both of them together certainly were good in many ways, and dismally lacking in the most important things. When you are the monarch of a country, EVERYTHING else comes second. Your duty to your country comes first.
Nicholas's unfortuanate personality was a disaster for his country.