Wasn't Dolgorukhaya only about 16 or 17 when the affair with AII started? He would go to prison for that today... Y
Ekaterina was born in 1847. They met shortly before her 17th birthday in late 1864. However, they only became intimate in the summer of 1866. That means that Ekaterina was 18 (just shy of her 19th birthday) at the time. Having an affair with an 18-year-old is sleazy, but it’s not illegal. He wouldn’t go to jail if it happened today.
Your comment, dear Nadya, reminds me very much of the common prejudices people use to put on several historical persons. Wonderful example: Grand Duke Sergej Alexandrovitch. Many ignore positive comments about his personality - such as the one of his brother in law, Ernst Ludwig of Hessen...
Nobody doubts that she suffered from TB most time of her life. But you cannot state that she has "withdrawn" first and her husband took a mistress AFTERWARDS. The vice versa might be the case.
I will not quote from those letters as I am not the owner and do not have the right to do so.
Thomas if you are convinced that Lisa and I are woefully misinformed with regard to MA then by all means enlighten us. I’m not being sarcastic, either, I m completely in earnest.
You actually could quote from MA’s letters according to fair use. It would be one thing to reproduce the whole book online. That would certainly be a violation of copyright. Excessive quoting would be, too. Selective quoting wouldn’t be. However, if you are unfamiliar with the fair use law, and would rather not quote verbatim, why not paraphrase? You could tell us what sort of things she discussed in the letters. What activities she was engaging in. You could explain why you believe, contrary to the claims of the authors whose works I’ve read, that MA was a more active figure after 1860. I for one would be extremely interested in any additional information you could provide about the life of MA. I mean this sincerely.
I know she was initially quite active and tried to help her husband with his liberal reforms. It is my understanding, however, that by the early 1860s (just prior to his meeting Katya) she was often too ill to be physically active in any real sense, her failing health curtailed her activities, and she wasn’t as involved in Alexander’s life as she had once been. I also have read that, much like Alexandra Feodorovna (only minus a Rasputin-like figure thankfully), she became deeply immersed in religion and mysticism in her final years. That death became a preoccupation for her because of her TB and Nixa’s death. If I’m mistaken I would certainly welcome any correction on this point and an explanation of why I am mistaken. For example, are there any books you would recommend that I read to gain a new perspective on MA if my perception of her is indeed flawed?
I have regretted my earlier posts in this thread, because I wasn’t terribly clear. I never meant to suggest that he was completely faithful and dutiful prior to his affair with Katya. He had casual affairs (for lack of a better term) before Nixa’s death. I’m well aware of that. I’m also aware of the fact that his attraction to Katya predated Nixa’s death (he was instantly attracted to her when they met in 1864). However, Katya was his first truly all-consuming affair. It is my understanding that for two years their relationship was, technically, a platonic one. That they had only become lovers in the summer of 1866 – after the death of Nixa – while he was still in the grips of the depression caused by his son’s untimely death.
Alexander and MA had begun drifting apart several years before Nixa’s death. He suffered from deep depressions off and on throughout his life, and he found MA’s illness difficult to bear. She had withdrawn from his life in a literal physical sense, not only as a lover but also as a companion, bit-by-bit over the years. It was not done by her choice, but it did happen, and it had begun to happen before he finally threw her over for Katya. As for Nixa’s death, it wasn’t the sole cause of his affair with Katya, but IMHO his death effectively severed the last remaining bond that Alexander and MA possessed – their devotion to their eldest son – and led him to begin what was his most serious and flagrant affair.
Would he have had an affair with Katya prior to Nixa’s death? Yes, he would have had she agreed to become his mistress. However, I have doubts about whether the affair would have lasted any longer than the others had the Empress not been ill and had Nixa been alive. I tend to believe that had he been thinking clearly, had he been less depressed, his passion for Ekaterina would have run its course and burned out just as his passion for every other woman had. I don't think he would have been as callous to MA if Nixa had lived. As it was, Nixa's death seemed to spur him on, increasing his desire to escape his former life. I’m willing to admit that this is only my opinion, and I could be mistaken.
Was any of that MA’s fault? No. Of course, she wasn’t to blame for being ill, or for his depression, or for his desire to have a youthful and healthy companion. He chose to be unfaithful and his callous behavior doesn’t reflect well on him at all. When considering his life as a whole, however, his political legacy, I choose to try and put his shoddy behavior as a husband into some kind of perspective. It was only one part of his life.
Mandie, I too had a father who committed adultery. So, obviously, I don't think well of adultery or those who commit it. However, as I wrote to Thomas above, I tend to try and judge historical figures by their public legacy and not according to their private indiscretions. I can understand why you would feel differently, though, and certainly don't think you lack compassion.
