Ella's Relationship with other Romanov family members

[Eric_Lowe]

Yes...QV on the otherhand wasn't too pleased on the role Ella played in the Nicky-Alicky romance. 

[lori_c]

It seems that neither side of the family was pleased w/Ella's role in the Nicky and Alix situation.
Poor Ella.  She wanted Nicky and Alix to be happy AND she wanted her sister in Russia.  I certainly can't blame her.  Although she could never have known the ramifications, it was in her mind going to be good to have her own family in a country where she herself was so far away from home.

[Romanov_fan]

Was that because of how much MF hated Alexandra, which is well documented?

That was mainly because MF was a very egoistic mother who believed she was the only one to decide fates of her children. The hatred (at first only dislike) to Alexandra was the second reason.

Yes, MF was much like her sister in regards to parenting. It is kind of sad when you are that possessive though of your children. What makes it sadder is that she was willing to dislike Ella in the process. Ella certainly was not someone who deserved that, at all.

[lori_c]

Ella was certainly caught in an uneviable situation at this point. 

[Romanov_fan]

Yes, you could not win with MF. She had no reason to dislike Ella that was actually based on anything worthwhile yet she still did. In my opinion, she didn't dislike her as much as she disliked Alexandra. But, there was no excuse for any of it.

[Eric_Lowe]

True. However as Chris Warrick wrote that during the events in 1914, Ella had reason to rue the day she brought Alickly to Russia...

[lori_c]

As often times happens in life, matchmaking can go afoul.  QV swore it off after the Ducky-Ernie situation.  But certainly NOBODY could have predicted the chain of events that led Ella and Alix to their destinies in Russia.  Ella certainly had only good intentions.  (As did Alix many times and was completely misunderstood because of it)

[Romanov_fan]

Indeed. Ella at least was responsible for a marriage that was personally happy, even if the political implications of it weren't of the best later. I don't think she ever regretted bringing Alexandra to Russia, although she certainly regretted the things her sister did, as she told her sister. She could not have known anything of what would happen later in  those days, so she wasn't really to blame.

[lori_c]

I agree.  Though any marriage to the Heir to the throne of Imperial Russia would have had political ramifications, Ella in her own mind was picking not only a complete love match, but a person of impeccable pedigree that, disregarding personality, passed every requirement to be a bride except the religion. (But conversion was common among German princess in the Romanov family, even those not in line to the throne).  So in the beginning, Ella thought she was helping, especially because the couple were so much in love.  But as we said before, who knew?

[James1941]

Surely Ella knew by 1894 just what being in the imperial family meant, and what they were like. And surely she had some knowledge of her sister's character and attributs. Maybe not, since they were seperated by distance and had not met that frequently since Ella went to Russia. In any case, she must have had some inkling that Alexandra would not make a good empress, despite the love story. If she didn't then it was because she closed her mind to that fact, or she was increditable obtuse.

[Eric_Lowe]

Yes. She did blame herself as one of the reasons was that she hoped to have a sister close by in Russia. 

[lori_c]

Anybody would, especially Ella who was only able to look at the "big picture" later on in her llife.  But, by no means was Ella narrow minded in her thinking though, imo.  Perhaps she had some of her grandmother's matchmaking gene in her and was blinded by the couple's passion for each other.  Who knows? Maybe Ella thought that Aix's character would change once she was w/the love of her life.

Alix's behavior in Hesse was judged on many factors and Ella more than likely thought that the death of their father as well as Ducky moving in were factors in Alix's personality dilemma.  Maybe she felt, getting her away from Darmstadt and into a more-than-suitable marriage would do the trick. 

And of course we already know how NII felt.  IMO, even without Ella's involvement, he would have held out for Allix and Alix alone.

[Romanov_fan]

Surely Ella knew by 1894 just what being in the imperial family meant, and what they were like. And surely she had some knowledge of her sister's character and attributs. Maybe not, since they were seperated by distance and had not met that frequently since Ella went to Russia. In any case, she must have had some inkling that Alexandra would not make a good empress, despite the love story. If she didn't then it was because she closed her mind to that fact, or she was increditable obtuse.

 A few points: Ella was never obtuse, on the contrary she was a very sensible and understanding person. This also goes for having a closed mind. She never had a closed mind, unlike her sister at times. She had hopes that the marriage would work out, both personally and dynastically. I think if she had truly seen signs of foreboding things in regards to her sister's personality, she would not have encouraged it. She did encourage it because she didn't see any evidence that things would not work out, and this is not evidence of a closed mind, at all. There might well have been no clues, because in my opinion much in Alexandra's character didn't come out until she was under much stress and strain in later years. Ella truly believed their marriage was a good thing, with an open mind. And she was certainly not the only reason for their marriage, unlike Queen Victoria who was one of the only reasons Ducky ever married Ernest of Hesse.

[James1941]

I will differ with you to some extent. Ella seems to have been rather obtuse when it came to the marriage of her niece, Marie, to Prince William of Sweden. And Queen Victoria wasn't the only one who was against the marriage. Their father, Grand Duke Ludwig, was very much against it also. And Alix of Hesse's unsuitability for being empress was not so unknown as you maintain. When she made several visits to Russia to visit Ella, the comments from Russians who met her were invariably negative and critical. Ella could have asked around if she had wanted to get opinions. And there were people in Hessen who could have told her a thing or two about Alexandra's suitability. I suspect politics had as much to do with it as romance, having a sister married to the heir and thus one-day empress.
Queen Victoria maybe had a grasp of Ella when she wrote that if Ella was truly happy in her marriage with Serge, then why was she always having to say she was happy. People who are really happy, the old queen remarked, don't have to go about justifying it to themselves or to everybody else. She suspected that maybe not was as it seemed to appear.
And as to Ella's understanding,she seems not to have realized the situation in Russia. When she went to see Serge's assassin in prison, she asked him why he had done such a cruel thing  to a good man,and he told her a few truths. She re-acted with saying she hadn't realized such things existed.
And she saw what Serge was doing in Moscow, especially to the Jews, and remarked they would probably have to pay for it later, but like all the Romanovs she shrugged her shoulders and then went on about their merry ways. Maybe she wasn't exactly obtuse, but like most of the Romanovs she kept her blinders on.
In was only after 1905 that Ella began to become a truly caring human being and devoted herself to a truly Christian life.

[lori_c]

I don't think Ella was obtuse in regards to MP marriage.  She simply was doing what she thought Uncle Sergei would have wanted and what she thought was best for MP all things consindering.  She did give MP the choice which even MP admits to. 

As far as seeing Sergei's crimes against the Jews and looking the other way, perhaps she hadn't found her place, as it were, at the time.  It took the assassination of her husband to find it, to shake her out of her apathy concerning the subject.

However, I don't find Ella apathetic in general.  She was always kind and caring.  IMO she was always looking for a place for herself in regards to leading a totally devoted Christian lifestyle while trying to reconcile this to fit in her marriage.  After Sergei's death, she was free to explore whatever avenues necessary to achieve her "place".