You've provided an excellent summation, Thomas!
I have one of her books--autobiographical in nature--in my "Romanov Library." It reads very well--whoever translated it into English seems to have done an excellent job--and although I haven't reviewed it in awhile, my general impression is that Victoria Louise was a congenial person and very much devoted to her father.
I'm not surprised she was unaccepting of her female role. In a household of brothers, having to act ladylike would have been stressful, not to mention darn near unnatural. Also, from what I've read there were a great many young ladies out there in Victorian/Edwardian times who were frustrated about their female status, not so much in a sexual sense, but in terms of being able to talk, dress, study, work and socialize in a less constrained fashion.