Funny stories of Members

[Prince_Lieven]

OK, I have remembered one. Of course, I don't usually enjoy relating embarrassing incidents to other people, but it wouldn't be fair of me to read yours and not contribute.

So . . .

Last year, my art teacher in school was quite a young woman, 26 at the time. She was - indeed still is - a really, really nice person - more of a friend than a teacher. I got on - still get on - really well with her. Once, at a school function (can't remember what, probably an open evening or something) I was chatting idly to her, and somehow we got onto the topic of how much we know about each other. Now, I should mention, my mum is quite friendly with this teacher too, knowing her outside of school.

Anywho, I teased her by saying she knew nothing about me except my name. She denied it, and said a few uninteresting things, and then came out with 'I know you like the Queen and all that,' referring to my interest in royalty. Needless to say, I nearly died of shock and embarrassment, seeing as how only my family know about my royalty-obsession. I was ready to KILL mum for telling her. She was really nice about it, saying things like 'No, I think that's really cool!' But, as Ross O'Carrol Kelly might say, 'I was like, totally morto!' (mortified for those who don't speak Posh Irish)

[emeraldeyes1969]

Okay so this happened about 16 years ago now...

My friends and I went for happy hour at a lounge downtown, where we consumed copious amounts of gin and tonic.  We decided that we were hungry and that we wanted to go to The Keg (a steakhouse) for some supper.  So by the time we get to the restaurant, we are all totally starving, and we order this huge appetizer platter that is supposed to serve 8 (there were 4 of us) as well as full meals to follow.  So the server brings the appetizers and we all just dive into them, wolfing everything down.  The server comes back and sees that the plate is totally empty and says snarkily, "Would you like to lick the plate?" This totally embarasses us.
So the steak and potato meals come a short time later, and by this time, we are realizing that those appetizers really filled us up, but we want to freak out the waitperson.  So, each of us take a turn scraping our food into our napkins and we each go to the ladies room and flush everything down the toilet.  
So the server comes back to our table and thinks that we have eaten absolutely everything, right down to the garnishes.  He looks at our plates, then looks at us , then looks at the plates, shakes his head and walks away, only to return with the bill.  He didn't say another word.  I wish you could have seen the look on his face.  It was priceless.  
We howled afterward.  
But seriously, what cheek - "would you like to lick the plate?"  erg.  

[Prince_Lieven]

 

This reminds me of a story my Dad told me - when he was young he and some friends were on the Isle of Man and went out to have 'a few' drinks, with predictable results. They then stumbled into an Indian restaurant, starving, and demanded 'your hottest curry' from the Indian waiter. 'Are you sure?' he asked, 'It is very hot.' They sneered at this. 'Give us your hottest curry!!' And they got it. And they took one bite. And the results were, again, predictable. My Dad hasn't eaten Indian style since.  

[Kimberly]

  ;DI reckon Homer Simpson was with you

[Prince_Lieven]

;DI reckon Homer Simpson was with you

Quite possibly!!  

[PssMarieAmelie]

another funny story:


I had just come back from the public playground and I saw some very rude words written on the tunnel. Later, I asked my sister for ice-cream and when she said no, I said(not knowing what it meant, peoples!!) the F word.I was only seven........how tragic. Quite embarrassing, now I think of it.....

[Vive_HIH_Aleksey]

In English class one year we studied a lot of stories, including Julius Caesar and Le Morte d'Arthur (which the teacher constantly pronounced as if the title were Spanish instead of French).

In our mid-term we had a fill-in-the-blank part.

Lancelot fell in love with (blank).

My friend Jericho put down Calpurnia.

LOL when I found out I said Hon that's not even the right TIME PERIOD!

The same girl doesn't know what a VERB is either.

[PssMarieAmelie]

In English class one year we studied a lot of stories, including Julius Caesar and Le Morte d'Arthur (which the teacher constantly pronounced as if the title were Spanish instead of French).

In our mid-term we had a fill-in-the-blank part.

Lancelot fell in love with (blank).

My friend Jericho put down Calpurnia.

LOL when I found out I said Hon that's not even the right TIME PERIOD!

The same girl doesn't know what a VERB is either.

WHOA. Even I know what a verb is!!!!

[Kimberly]

Yes, I grow verbs in my garden. I have basil, rosemary and sage

[Margarita Markovna]

Kimberly, I love your posts!!

Okay, so my friends and I go to this Catholic girls high school and it's supposed to be for 'bright young ladies' but over the last few weeks we've collected these quotes in our classes:

"Water’s not alive, right?"

"[half of 46 is] 50!"

"When you have identical twins, and, like, one’s a boy and one’s a girl..."

"Which one, the hector [heterozygous]?"

"There’s 49 pages in this tiny packet-thing?!"
(It started on page 48 and went to page 52.)

"I didn’t even know what Latin America was. What is Latin America?"

"Oh my god! He died?"

Global teacher: How old is the United States?
Student: 500 years!

Global teacher: What breed of horses was used to plow?
Student: Oxen! No, wait...donkeys!

"So when you mate a male bull and a female bull..."

This has me laughing pretty hard. It has all of us laughing pretty hard, well, all three of us. We're writing a screenplay that takes place in our school, and uses these quotes.

[Margarita Markovna]

MUST add the recent addition, I'm dying of laughter here....

"I don't live in New York City, I live in the Bronx!"

[clockworkgirl21]

My grandma came up to me in the mall and asked me what 50% of $10 was. I almost fainted.

[Margarita Markovna]

My grandma came up to me in the mall and asked me what 50% of $10 was. I almost fainted.

HAHAHA! That's GREAT.

[granduchess_leah]

1)ok well i adore sweets and once i stayed at my grans and took at least 3 diffrent types of sweets with me into the car then i started given them to my dad and someone else who was with us(cant remeber) was with us.but luckly i kept some for my self.

2)once i sat in the car with my dad and his g.f and i was telling jokes and i told him this one One day there was a blind man walking down the street and he smelled oranges, so he bought some fruit.

He smelled some pastries, so he bought some donuts.

Then he walked passed a fish market, took a hard sniff, and said, "Hello ladies!" and also these 2 jokes Q: How do you get straight A's?

A: By using a ruler!
Q: What game do people play in the mall?

A: Price-tag! and they found my jokes hillarious 

[Galactic_Misfit]

I was in history class in grade 12 and my teacher asked a girl in my class what the capital of Russia was.
Cheryl replied: "GERMANY!"

My friend and I were walking down the hall and I told her where I was moving to (DeWinton- it's a really small town in Alberta). She looked at me and said "You're moving to IOWA?!" I then replied, "I said DeWinton, Not DES MOINES!"

My mom told me this "episode" that happened when I was young. I was three or so and in my high chair eating. My dad asked me who my favorite parent was and I replied "Daddy." My mom looked at me and said "what about your poor mom?" I looked at her, stone faced and said "NOT a chance!"

Finally, Right around the age of three again, I was just tall enough to grab things off the counter top. One night, my mom was cooking dinner for the family (her mom, sisters, brother, and brothers-in-law were there too) and was chopping garlic. My mom left three cloves on the counter and left to talk to her mom really quickly. Me, being my curious self decided to investigate what was on the counter. I took all three cloves, shoved them in my mouth and swallowed. My mom came back into the kitchen and started looking for the missing cloves, frantically. She turned around because my dad exclaimed "what is that smell?"
I was on his lap, smiling deviously. My mom walked over and took a whiff of my breath. She laughed hysterically and said "I found the Garlic!" People couldn't go anywhere near me for a week after that!