Imperial Family Claimants...Part 2

[Margarita Markovna]

Oh god I see we're back to poetry.

[Count_Valentin]

In contests of will
Minds, bodies, two become one
haiku 'll do ya

--------------------------------

Some words mean one thing
Others insinuate many
Careful what you read!

---------------------------------

I wonder: How few
surrealists does it take to
change a spent light bulb?

(I have an answer, if you like)

[Tasha_R]

Dearies,

Just a quick note to tell you all that I will be absent from Court for a few short days.  As Jaegermeister put his all into pulling the sleigh back from penguin territory back to Ritka's in time for the soiree', he apparently strained some muscles and has been in the doggie hospital for some days now.

My dearie needs me at the moment.  Please excuse my absence.  I am glad to hear that the Tsar has been rescued and all is well.

Yours,
Tashenka

[Margarita Markovna]

Hope he gets well soon!

I may not run into you between now and when I leave for vacation, so "so long, farewell" until the 17th (unless you come back before I leave).

[Douglas]

Dearest Anna & Courtiers of the Realm:

Thank you so much for the delightful evening of your magnificent and most  gala banquet of memorable food and entertainment extrodinaire.

I hope everyone enjoyed my humble offering to the food buffet.  It was something we just discovered in America on our way back from the tragic events at the South Pole.  It seems that there is this new food in America called a Dorito.  

It is a crisp chip of ground cornmeal.  You take this wonder and dip it into a sauce of cheese or avocado and wow, what  a taste sensation.

Those Americans are always doing something out of this world.  If it is not going to the Moon,  they are inventing the Dorito!

I called the company that makes these chips and they said they would love to put my photo on the package of Doritos...with the caption, "Even the Tsar loves our Doritos".  This will sell millions of bags of their chips and I even receive a small royalty.  This royalty shall be donated to the Fund for Lost and Stranded Imperials and other Needy Courtiers of the Realms.

Tsar Doug....back at the Palace with a plate of those most fantastic 'Doritos'.......  

PS:  I must say, that Count Valentin is a roue of the most sensational type...the ladies can't resist him.

[Count_Valentin]

You are most gracious to say so, your Highness. Would that I knew to what I should attribute this popularity. Perhaps the moustachios? Perhaps the sabre? I know not... Or perhaps, as the Zen masters of the Orient taught me, everything is connected to everything else, and the whole universe is but one Dorito, held daintily in the hand of a beautiful woman? (I always wondered about that particular Zen master, but my enlightenment cleared that up)

[Margarita Markovna]

I love Doritos, and Fritos too. And the royalties are certainly going to a good cause.

[anna]

Tsar D. dearie,

Of course it's nice to watch old movies in your private palace theater, eating Doritos and guacamole dip, wearing slippers and baggy sweaters.
But..... which GD can resist a Count who kneels at her tattoed feet in silk, holds her bejeweled little hand and showers her with poetic naughty phrases? Well, not even the kitchenmaid and she's no lady.

T.D between us; Whilst kneeling at my feet I noticed the Count is bald One point for you

Anna

[Georgiy]

My goodness! Bald! The Royal toupeers must rectify the situation forthwith. I have just had my photos of our Chatham sojourne developed and post them to bring back happy memories of our Island idyll!


Our Chatham Dacha where we enjoyed many a meal of broiled penguin.


The view from our window, whence we would wait and watch for the incoming Royal Barge....

[anna]

Georgiy imp. dearie,

They're beautiful. Looking back we did had a nice time there, still taste that penguin Despite the waiting for our rescue, we had a lovely room with a view.

Anna

[Margarita Markovna]

I think that's the hill that I ran through singing "The hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiills are aliiiiiiiiiive, with the sound of Riiiiiiiitka..."

[Tasha_R]

If I remember correctly, the Count mentioned in a letter to my father that he had had a close blow with a sabre to the head and that he had had a bit of difficulty growing the hair back there.

However, I can assure you that he is *not* bald.  There might be that one spot, but as it was due to an accident and not genetic, I don't believe it could be considered baldness.  He does keep it all rather close cut, which I understand is the fashion these days, but I suspect that if he were to grow his hair a bit longer, it might not show at all.

Sincerely,
Princess Tasha

[Margarita Markovna]

And even if he does go bald he can just say it's the style to have close cut hair.

[Janet_W.]

Dearest Claimants All:

Oh, puh-leeze! No combovers, perish the thought!  

But it would seem that many claimants of the male persuasion have had saber cuts to the scalp, causing me to conclude that dueling is especially popular after age 30.

Therefore, why not do what the King of Siam did and shave one's head completely bald? It is stylish, attractive, and low-maintenance, etcetera etcetera.

Now, as for the matter of the universe being a Dorito . . . then, pray tell, where does that leave Tsar Doug, whose very image appears on the bag that once contained that Dorito?

BTW, the Dorito folks spiced up their copy for the bag. Currently the ermine-clad T.D. can be seen holding a Dorito between his thumb and index finger with one of those big dopey and endearing grins on his face--you know, the kind that looks like someone just dropped a piano on his head-- and the following caption: "Positively revolutionary!" Questionable taste, my dear Tsar, but then you were ever one for royalties.

And oh yes . . . just how many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? I fear the answer will be too Zen for yours truly, but I pose the query nonetheless.

Anyway, darlings, must leave posthaste in my gyroscope for a famous American mile-high city.

Yes, I know . . . you'll miss me. How could you not?!

With a fond ta-ta and wave of my royal digit--er, digits--I remain

The On-Holiday GD/GP Janet

[lexi4]

To all,
I have missed so much since my last post. Tsar Doug, I am so glad you are well and back from your royal mishap.
My Dear Count, you seem to have stolen the affections of all the women in the court. Might I suggest a party in your honor? At which time, we can discover how bald you really are. Kind of an unvieling, so to speak. I will be happy to host the big event at my papace in Gatchina. It is completely remodeled and includes a pink room for darling Anna.  
Tsar Doug, in your honor, I am have the shrubs sniped into the shape of Doritos. Those clever Yanks. What will they think of next? I do hope my sister will be back from the Mile High city in tiime for the event. I must insist that we all dress as we were attending a coronation and wear lots of bling.
I would also suggest a theme for the gala...like Sled Dogs or something along those lines. I am open for suggestions.
Please RSVP ASAP,
Grand Duchess Lexi