Imperial Claimants...Part 3

[Douglas]

Dear Courtiers:

Part 3 starts today.

We're having a great time here in the land called Argentina.  The 'Estancia' wherein we are lodged is truely fit for a Tsar.

The GD Anna, Janet, Lexia, Margarita,  Pink Lady, Count Valentine are having a nice time eating three inch Pampas Steaks and salad.

The Imperitor is lurking behind a palm tree with one of the ladies of the Argentina politicos....a scandal is brewing.

Tomorrow we go to one of Argentina's great attractions and see the girl on the beach at Ipanema......the famed Copacabana Beach.  Wow, what a day that will be.  Bring some sun lotion and umbrella.

Tsar Doug .......finally able to get some winter sun in Buenos Aires with Tashkenta and Nastenka, a lady of wonderful charm and social grace a la Argentina.

Tasha is locked in the kitchen making some chocolate cake with Nastenka and the chef....I just heard a huge explosion and  some smoke is filling the room. :-/

[Shvibzik]

A party here  
A party there
We are going to Argentina  
Only by air
We’ll dance the Tango
And eat a ripe mango
Then we’ll go back home
With more than one aching bone
Perhaps we will go to see a movie
All spiff and groovy
That will make the people will ask
Covering their heads with paper bag masks  

“Can it be
That they are really royalty?
They have an Imperial monkey
And they dance the Hokey Pokey
They wear blinding bling
And sing and sing
And now tattoos?
Oh my, what shall we do?
Maybe the Bolshies were right
To get the Tsar out of their sight”

So then we will leave
Feeling deceived
Eat our leftover popcorn
Silent and forlorn
But by the end of the night
We are far from fright
But instead eat Doritos
And even some Fritos
We’ll listen to Vanila Ice
And play with colored dice
By the next morning
We are still snoring

Will the people form coup d'états?
Oh my, I hope not!

[Douglas]

Dear Claimants:

The Tsar has just informed us here at Tsarskoe Selo that he intends to purchace an "Estancia" in Argentina and will being constuction on a new palace in that great land of South America.

The style of architecture will reflect his interest in modern styles and will resemble the Colonial Style of Mississippi.

It will be called Taraskov in honor of those wonderful people who were maids and servants in that great home of movie fame.

Count W.

Tsarskoe Selo.......Sunday

[lexi4]

Tsar Doug,
I am putting in my request right now for a purple room. You know it is my favorite color.
Am having a wonderful time in South America. My head is spinnning!  

[RealAnastasia]

No, no, no my dear Tsar! With all my respect, I must said you must have been dreaming. We have not palm trees in Patagonia. There is like Russia (is for this that I love Patagonia so much)...It's a cold weather there, just today, it was snowing here. In some places, there are lakes and pine-woods, and mountains (like Austrian Alpes or Switzerland), and in others cold desert as Siberian estepes, without any trees.  In Tierra del Fuego, southern Patagonia we have ice everywhere and some six month almost without sun. Any tropical thing here.

And Ipanema is not here but in Brazil...As well as the mangoes. We haven't got mangoes here, except for those imported from northern Brazill, Venezuela and Colombia.

I liked Count poetry, except for the "Doritos"!  

I know what happened! Too much "salad". Mixed up with too much champagne it makes you alucinate!  

Nastenka.

[Douglas]

My Dear Nastenka and Courtiers of the Realm:

Please accept my apology.  I thought I could see palm trees in the distance but now I realize they were Italian Cypress that were trimmed for a movie scene.  

Our driver was playing "Girl From Ipanema" on the radio whilst were on the way to the famed beaches of Patagonia and I got all mixed up.  Maybe too much Mate.

We have all ordered our furs and winter clothes sent from Tsarskoe.  The GD's have placed their Bikinis and umbrellas in storage and are wearing fur hats and ear muffs.

GD Janet loves the Patagonia with the cold and snow.  She has noticed that there are a lot of Germans here.  All  very strange.  We feel like we are in Tyrol without Heidi.

I thought I saw der Fuhrer also in the park sans his famous mustashio.  I spoke politely with him and he said his name was Adolpho and was employed as a chef at the local restaurante called Bavaria.

We love the new Estancia we bought yesterday and am starting the casa right away.  We hope we can hire some of the locals to play the part of maids and servants at our new home in Patagonia.  We always think of our servants as part of our family, ole.

GD Anna was interested in all of the gauchos....are they really what we used to call 'cowboys'?  I did appear in a few Western type musicals in Hollywood so I know a little  about ropin and ridin.  You know what I mean, dear?  I used to sing with Roy Rogers and Dale.  I really think that Pat Boone could sing better, though.  Of course, GD Janet is our in-house singer and chanson extraordinaire.

Tsar Doug.....settling into this strange and wonderful land called Argentina and sister state of Patagonia.

We are thinking of annexing the entire State of Patagonia to our Empire of Russia...we hope the native Patagonians will like being new citizens of Russia! We may change the name of Patagonia to Nuevo Deutchland.

[Georgiy]

ouch! I knew I shouldn't have been hiding underneath coconut palm trees - one fell on my head, and I can't find the Imperial nurse anywhere to help me.
Georgiy Imperator

[Tasha_R]

My fellow courtiers,

I am sorry to inform you that the hot chocolate souffle has been aflambe' and just won't be suitable anymore.  

We've sent for the clean up crew.  It shouldn't be too long.  I would suggest everyone steering clear of the kitchen for awhile.

I'm going up to my chamber to rest.  I'm afraid I might have had a diamond on me somewhere and I'm sneezing up a storm.

Pardon me as I retire, I beg of you.

Most sincerely,
Tashenka

[Janet_W.]

Dearest Tsar Doug:

Y'know, I told you you needed more than sun lotion and an umbrella whilst searching for The Girl from Ipanema, i.e., more like exceptionally high-powered binoculars, T.D.  

Also, please forward my condolences to Tashenka and all cho-co-LA-te aficiendos re: the unintentionally flaming dessert. (Ay, que malo!   )

As for the Germans and all the cold and snow . . . well, reminds me of my days in Yalta. (The Germans that is. Not the cold and snow.)

And I don't know . . . thar wuz nuthin' quite lak Roy 'n' Day'l singin' "Happy Trails to You." Fact is, once upon-a time I wuz thinkin' about gettin' Day'l to a nunnery so I could marry Roy mah self. 'Course, then I larned that he wuz only 5'4" to my 6'. Shock o'mah life. But shoot, that thar Pat Boone . . . I don' 'spect he ever got hisself up on-a horse, did he? So y'see, size ain't everythang!  

Now, as for Taraskov . . . well, I'd think twice before taking up semi-permanent habitat at that particular locale, for remember that below the equator everything is reversed. Which means that those of us pampered  lily-white claimants will be carrying trays or working in the fields, and those with skins of a darker hue will be sitting back in rocking chairs and swingseats on the west verandah, lording it over you-uns and me. Not exactly my cup of mint julep, tho' with apologies to our dashing rhyme-masters, it's a bit of poetic justice, don't you think?!  

Anyway, be wary of strange little men with toothbrush mustaches, and Auf Wiedersehen for now, Tovarich Doug--

The Not-Ready-for-Slave-Time GD/GP Janet

[RealAnastasia]

Dear and Blessed Tsar:

                                     I hope you may buy your Estancia. I like very much the name "Tsarkov"! We all courtiers, could have a beatiful time there in time to time... Patagonia had all: esteparian desert, mountains, and beachs, but beachs only in summer, for in winter you'll freeze if you try to swim there...My own father is from there, so, he can give you some #very respectful) advice...

                                       And you are not so wrong seeing Hitler there. In the Mountain region (search "Bariloche" and "Villa La Angostura" in Image Google) some people said they indeed saw Hitler! There is a legend, you know? He didn't die and manage to escape here! And since there is a huge German and Austrian inmigration in Bariloche and Villa La Angostura, that's not so odd to think so!

                                      DEAR TASHENKA: Don't worry! If your chocolate burned, you may purchase some nice chocolate here, in Patagonia. The German families in Bariloche does all kind of chocolate: bombons, hard chocolate, and chocolate to do your soufflée. There is white, with milk and bitter chocolate. Yummy! And you may also purchase strawberry, blueberry, huckleberry, Rosehip , cherry and plum jam and jellies. There is a Russian little shop named "Mamushka". The Tsar would LOVE IT! And in winter (this is now) he may sky and go in sled!

                                   Ah! Dear Tasha! Don't bring any diamonds with you! Too many chocolate here!

                                     Natasha.

P.S: To Janet: No problems here. No guerrilla. There is some riots asking for work and justice, but this is like in all countries in the world nowadays! And no "mint Julepe". All people insist mistaking Mexico with Argentina! Here we have wine, tea, coffe, mate and (of course!) chocolate. And many Russians and Germans here. You'll like it.

[Tasha_R]

I sent the cook out to get more chocolate, however there seems to be a, um... minor (cough, cough) problem with the stove itself.  Need to send out for a new Viking.  Can I put this on the Imperial bill?

Tashenka

p.s. yes, I am known for my inability to cook.  That is why I hire servants.  Of course, every now and again I have this urge to try something out of a cookbook, just to prove that I am the utmost of femininity and should be able to do everything a lady ought to.   Alas, that's usually when things backfire... literally...

[Douglas]

Dearest Tashenka:

I have requested the the Imperial Stove maker at St. Petersburg send you one of the best brand new wood stoves available.  

Now you can cook to your hearts delight and make us some of your great sourdough bread.

Tsar Doug

[lexi4]

Tsar Doug,
I am so glad we figured that weather thing out. I was freezing in my royal bikini. And now that I know everything is backwards I can tell you to see the girl from Ipanma you must look the other way!
Hoping to learn right from left,
lexi4
Thank you for bringing me along

[Douglas]

Tall and tan and young and lovely
The girl from ipanema goes walking
And when she passes, each one she passes goes - ah

When she walks, she?s like a samba
That swings so cool and sways so gentle
That when she passes, each one she passes goes - ooh

(ooh) but I watch her so sadly
How can I tell her I love her
Yes I would give my heart gladly
But each day, when she walks to the sea
She looks straight ahead, not at me

Tall, (and) tan, (and) young, (and) lovely
The girl from ipanema goes walking
And when she passes, I smile - but she doesn?t see (doesn?t see)
(she just doesn?t see, she never sees me,...)


Dear Courtiers:  We sing this song day and night.  Lexi and Janet are having a great time in this country of contrasts and barbacoa.  Thanks be to God there are no guerillas here on the pampas.  GD Anna is taking her time having a lot of Mate Tea with her biscuits.  As for our hostess, we all are inviting her on our next yacht cruise to.

Tsar Doug and the Courtiers in this great place called Argentenia...land of the Samba and Sombrerros.

[Count_Valentin]

Ah, Argentenia...I once knew a young lady there who could take two coconuts and...but perhaps that is a story for a different day

I am honored to respond to the multitude of requests for a composition in honor of Evita (who was in fact the lady I mention above...). I have selected quite a different form from the usual haiku for this. I hope it suits!

There once was a lass called Evita,
With beauty unrivalled in Argentenia,
Her husband on his throne
Admired Ms. Perron
Even for quite a while posthumously