Engagement, Dowry, Arranged Marriages of the Romanovs

[carkuczyn]

were the weddings in the imperial family big, elaborate celebrations or just small and private?  also were otma ever bridesmaids in any of their relatives' weddings?

[Romanov_fan]

I think that this is an interesting question, did arranged marriages work better than marriages of love? I agree many royal marriages were back then, very much arranged, and of these some were disasters, because of circumstances, personalities and people being incompatible, etc. But, some of them brought the right blood to the throne, and they maybe produced the best children in terms of blood and religious/political connections. Also, sometimes the best consorts married into the family due to an arranged marriage, and they proved great at being consorts, even if they were not so good in the personal sense of being wives. Sometimes, the women may not have benefited, but sometimes they did, as they married into the right country for them to do their best. Of course, some very happy royal marriages in both senses were love matches, in that they were good on a personal level for the family involved and also for the country, but a marriage made for love alone may not have always been the best for the country, or produced the best possible generation of heirs.I would really like to hear people's views on this.

[TampaBay]

I think arranged marriages work better for Royalty as along as both parties understanding waht they are getting themselves in to.

TampaBay

[Romanov_fan]

That seems true. Perhaps arranged marriages when they did not know what they were getting into were worse than love matches gone wrong, etc. Both could be disasters, but if the marriage was made for dynastic factors in the first place, they might want to stay together more, because more would unite them than just love. But, in this day and age, divorce would most likely follow anyway. Someone once said to me that the reasons the marriages of some modern members of the British Royal Family did not work out was that they married members of the nobility or lower, and not royalty, that royalty would have been more used to the role, etc. I am not sure about that, but it's an interesting observation.

[TampaBay]

Prince Andrew and Sarah would have been ok if they would have been left alone and together.  Sarah was not aloowed to become a naval wife.  Charles and Diana was a completely different story as was Margret and Snowdon.

TampaBay

[Grace]

Well, Sarah knew her husband was in the Navy when she married him...

According to Sarah Bradford's new biography on Diana, Andrew has always been, and is now, in love with, loyal and supportive of Sarah.  She really blew the marriage by her unroyal behaviour, i.e. affairs with John Bryan, Steve Wyatt etc.

Bradford also says Sarah was more in love with being royal than with Andrew.  She says that after marrying Andrew, Sarah would burst into a room full of her girlfriends calling, "curtsey, curtsey, curtsey"!   

Sorry TB - I disagree - Sarah couldn't cope with the restraints of being royal at all, in my book!

[Romanov_fan]

So does that support the argument that that person told me? I think it does, although I am not going to comment on specifics. Anyway, royalty does have a good knack for their role, but royal/royal marriages are much less common, both from the feeling that it should be a love match, not an arranged marriage, and that there aren't as many royals that can marry other royals as there used to be, in the days of arranged marriages, before World War I. But, I think the greatest reason is it should be, people think a love match, and so often it is. Princess Diana was from a well known and historic noble family, but I think whatever her background was, she would never have fit in.

[Grace]

But she did fit in - that's the tragedy of it - she fitted in perfectly as Princess of Wales - who could have done the job better?

One can argue endlessly why the marriage of the Prince and Princess of Wales didn't work but, in my opinion, Charles was far more at fault than Diana was.  He loved someone else, was jealous of her popularity and was self-centred and set in his ways.  Diana too, had some unrealistic expectations about the time Charles would spend with her etc.  I think they were a perfect Prince and Princess of Wales however things were in their private life. 

[Romanov_fan]

Well, I just mean that she was a great Princess of Wales, but she was not the kind of Princess of Wales that the royal family wanted her to be. She was rather untraditional, etc. That is what I meant. I suppose, in some sense that the marriage of Charles and Diana was arranged, but with her background one would have assumed she would accept it. Prince Andrew's wife was rather a different story, I am not sure how anyone expected her to fit in, but at one time she was more popular than Diana.  Anyway, I think background does play a part in the making of a good royal wife, not so much with blood, but with understanding how to be royal and the lifestyle. But then, personality does play a part as well.

[TampaBay]

Sorry TB - I disagree - Sarah couldn't cope with the restraints of being royal at all, in my book!

I think there are two issues here: One being a good "royal" wife and having a good marriage.

Sharah was never cut out to br royal but she  "could" have had a good marriage with Andrew under different circumstances.

TampaBay

[TampaBay]

Sorry TB - I disagree - Sarah couldn't cope with the restraints of being royal at all, in my book!

I think there are two issues here: One being a good "royal" wife and two having a good marriage.

Sarah was never cut out to be royal but she "could" have had a good marriage with Andrew under different circumstances.

TampaBay

There is very little doubt in my mind that Sarah is the love of Andrew's life.

TampaBay

[Romanov_fan]

Well, I think it is important in this day and age especially for royal marriages to be good. It influences their personal lives more than it used to, because marriages used to be made for reasons of state, and the king could have as many mistresses has he wanted, while his wife had many heirs, and wore herself out much of the time. That was most royal marriages once upon a time, when the fact of the marriage being bad or good didn't have much to do with the public, or public affairs. But now, in this day and age when royals are far more interesting to the public, and their private lives are much less private, unhappy marriages rather quickly become a public issue...

[rosieposie]

I am just wondering what the signifigance of the three entwined rings represent?

[TheAce1918]

I haven't been able to find much on this subject.  Search engines are terrible!    I did however come across a site in relation to the old Russian wedding itself.  Perhaps there are some hints there?

http://www.goldschp.net/archive/wedding.html

Also this,

  Russians call "engagement rings" the rings that the couple exchanges during the wedding ceremony. The two buy them together; the groom pays; this is the necessary part of the wedding tradition. Russian engagement rings are in reality just plain wedding bands of gold, without diamonds or stones, and they wear them on the RIGHT hand on the finger next to the "pinky". (An "engagement ring" on the LEFT hand on the same finger will mean for Russians that the person is divorced or widowed, i.e. is not currently married but was married before.)

The groom and the bride go in the same train but in different cars. All cars are decorated with ribbons and balloons, often the bride's car has a doll on the bonnet, or two stylized golden rings on top of the car (one bigger and one smaller), or both.

Two crossed golden rings are Russian symbol of marriage that may be also seen on wedding invitations etc.

If I find anything else, I'll post it up.

[Aine]

I have no idea if this is true, but I thought I'd throw it out there:

Russian wedding rings (still popular today) are a combination of three linked rings, each of a different color gold and believed to represent the Holy Trinity.

(that quote came from this less-than-professional looking website, http://www.jewelrybyrhonda.com/webpages/weddingtraditions.htm, although more info can be found at www.magusfloral.com/Wedding_Traditions/wedding_traditions.html)


Aine