Letters from Tatiana

[Nadya_Arapov]

The punctuation is Tatiana's.

Tatiana to Alix – 20 April 1911 – Tzarskoe Selo
Mama my darling,
How about tomorrow? Must I lie in bed or no (ah of course no) I had a little as I walked but my head does not hurt as I lay and now it passed. Can you write deary I would like to know. I would like so much to go to the review of the second division as I am also the second daughter and Olga was at the first so now it is my turn. What will you about that??

Ah!!!???!!!! Maria asks when must we have Delacroix for the hair as we did not have him for such a long time. Yes Mama and at the second division I will see whom I must see…….you know whom.......!!!!??!?!

Now goodbye. God bless you two angels. God be with you always and every where you are. Many kisses from your loving, devoted, thankful true daughter.
Tatiana

P.S. Kiss Ania very much.

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Tatiana to Alix - 26 November 1911 - Livadia
My sweet, darling, own Mama dear,
I beg your pardon that I don’t listen to you and that I contradict you, that I am disobedient. At once I never feel anything but afterwards I fell so sad and miserable that I made you tired of telling me always to do that and so on.

Please forgive me my own precious Mama darling. Really now I’ll try and be as good and kind as I can be, else I know how disagreeable it is to you when one of your daughters don’t listen to you and behaves bad.

I know it is very bad of me to be so horrid with you my dear Mama, but really, really my sweet one I will try and be as good as I can and never tire you and always listen (to) every word you will tell me.

Forgive me deary. Write to me please a word only that you forgive me and then I can go and sleep with a clear conscience. God bless you always and whenever you go – show this letter to nobody.

Kisses from your own loving, devoted, thankful and true daughter,
Tatiana

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Not dated. Probably written on 3 April 1912.
Tatiana to Alix
My sweet darling dear beloved own dearest Mama,
I am so awfully sorry that you wont come with us. I hope that you will feel better tomorrow when we come. Fancy it will be the first time that we will sleep on the Standart it is awfully sad Mama dearest. I hope that Ania will be with you and wont tire you and specialy wont come in to you to disturb when you lie or when you want to be alone. Such I petty that I could not stay with you Mama dear. It would be such a pleasure to me. I do hope you wont feel too tired. Please Mama darling don’t run about the rooms to see how they are. Send Ania or els you will be very tired to receive Auntie and Uncle.

I will try and be as good as I can on board with the officers.

Goodbye till tomorrow. Don’t worry sweety about baby I will look after him and all will be alright. God bless you my sweet own darling

Many many kisses to you angel from your own loving devoted and true daughter.
Tatiana

[Nadya_Arapov]

Tatiana to Alix – 30 September 1914 – Tzarskoe Selo
Mama darling mine,
Forgive me about the little dog. To say the truth, when he asked should I like to have it if he gave it me, I at once said yes. You remember, I always wanted to have one, and only afterwards when we came home I thought that suddenly you might not like me having one. But I really was so pleased at the idea that I forgot about everything. Please, darling angel, forgive me. Tell Papa about it. I hope he won’t have anything against it. Good night, beloved Mama. God bless and keep you.
1000 kisses from your devoted daughter and loving,
Tatiana
Say, darling, you are not angry.

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Tatiana to Alix – 7 August 1915 – Tzarskoe Selo
Mama darling mine,
Please give Ania this photo I did at Krasnoe during the review. I’m sure she will be very pleased. Mama, sweet, I am so awfully sad. I see so little of you. I hate going away for so long. Really, we never see you now. It doesn’t matter if sisters go earlier to bed – I’ll remain. For me it is better to sleep less and see more of you, my beloved one. God bless you, deary. 1000 kisses to you and Papa dear. Your own loving child,
Tatiana

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Tatiana to Alix – 15 August 1915 – Tzarskoe Selo
Mama, darling angel mine!
I pray for you both dearies, the whole time, that God will help you now in this terrible time. I simply can’t tell you how awfully sorry I am for you, my beloved ones. I am so sorry I can in no way help you or be useful.
In such moments I am sorry I’m not a man. Bless you my own beloved one. Sleep well. I kiss you and Papa dear awfully much. Your own loving and true daughter,
Tatiana

[Raegan]

Reagan,
I am very curious about your research... Are you going to publish something?

As a matter of fact, I am going to publish something. Anyone want to take a guess as to what it is? I think it's pretty obvious, but let's make a game out of it. Don't answer if you know. The winner gets a prize. :-)

[Laura Mabee]

I don't know... but...
Is it the diaries and letters of the GDs?

[Raegan]

I don't know... but...
Is it the diaries and letters of the GDs?

You need to be more specific. Do you mean Grand Dukes or Grand Duchesses? :-)

[Sarushka]

Grand Duchesses, I hope!

[Raegan]

Grand Duchesses, I hope!

You got it! This is the deal, I started researching in GARF three years ago with the intention of publishing a book. I knew I wanted to work on the Grand Duchesses diaries, but when I went to GARF the first time I realized that none of Anastasia's exist and very few of Maria's do, too. So after a few trips to Russia, lots of hard work and some great thought, I started working on the first book, which will be out this year. It is the complete 1913 diary of Grand Duchess Olga. So I am the mystery person working on the diaries. I wanted to say something sooner, but decided to hold off until everything was finished. I also want to thank everyone who kept my secret: Helen_A, Belochka (Margarita), Teddy, Sarai, the "other" Helen, Annie, Elisabeth and I believe that is it. Thanks so much. If anyone has any questions, feel free to PM or email me.

[Sarushka]

Does this mean Laura and I get to split the prize? ; )

[Margarita Markovna]

Ooh! Diaries! Any idea when/where they'll be available to order?

[Ally Kumari]

Grand Duchesses, I hope!

You got it! This is the deal, I started researching in GARF three years ago with the intention of publishing a book. I knew I wanted to work on the Grand Duchesses diaries, but when I went to GARF the first time I realized that none of Anastasia's exist and very few of Maria's do, too. So after a few trips to Russia, lots of hard work and some great thought, I started working on the first book, which will be out this year. It is the complete 1913 diary of Grand Duchess Olga. So I am the mystery person working on the diaries. I wanted to say something sooner, but decided to hold off until everything was finished. I also want to thank everyone who kept my secret: Helen_A, Belochka (Margarita), Teddy, Sarai, the "other" Helen, Annie, Elisabeth and I believe that is it. Thanks so much. If anyone has any questions, feel free to PM or email me.

That´s great. And sad. I´ll never be able to get it ........(cry)

[mr_harrison75]

Raegan, this is fantastic news! I'll buy it for sure!!!!

[Nadya_Arapov]

I'll have book #2 after Mr. Harrison. ;-)

[Laura Mabee]

Sweet!!!!!!
That's great news! Sarushka and myself were wondering recently who the mysterious author was that was putting together something on the Grand Duchesses, and now we know!
This is wonderful news Raegan!!

[Raegan]

Does this mean Laura and I get to split the prize? ; )

Well I was going to give the winner a nesting doll from Russia, but I very well can’t split that!

Ooh! Diaries! Any idea when/where they'll be available to order?

Sorry for the late response, but I don’t log in on a regular basis. Anyway, the first book is going to the printers this spring. I will announce when it will be ready to order, though I suppose people will find out like with any book.

Sweet!!!!!!
That's great news! Sarushka and myself were wondering recently who the mysterious author was that was putting together something on the Grand Duchesses, and now we know!
This is wonderful news Raegan!!

And did my name come up? I thought I had been dropping obvious hints for awhile. ;-)

I started this when I was still in graduate school, so it took a bit longer than I had originally hoped. I was busy with work, studies, traveling and friends (like many 20-somethings) and I was determined not to let my research overtake my life. I hopped over to research in Russia during breaks and then worked on the diaries at home when time permitted. Also, to everyone who has sent me messages, I am trying to respond to everyone as best as I can. I don’t post on the forum or read my messages on a regular basis, so please understand if it takes some time for me to respond to everyone. Thanks!

[helenazar]

I'm so glad that Raegan is now at a point where she can announce the publication of her book, which she worked very hard on. It was getting difficult to keep the secret! ;-) Congratulations, Raegan, I am sure a lot of people are looking forward to reading this book!