Imperial Claimants...Part 5

[Janet_W.]

Gadzooks, GD Anna, I had forgotten about last year's Tsar Doug event! How he ever set off all those fireworks and strobe lights I'll never know. This year someone must constantly be at his side.  Any volunteers?

My sunglasses are actually larger than yours, dear, and blacker than a thief's heart. As for my yappy little purse dog . . . well, she can take on your Borzoi any day!

[Arf! Arf! Grrrrrrr!]

Anyway, sorry to cut this short, but I really must go and slap the Imperator into sobriety, then I'm checking to make sure Gregory Peck's star hasn't been removed in the last 24 hours.

Just call me Holly Go-Imperial, and see you at Tiffany's for breakfast. Tax-iiiiiiii!

The Real Phony GD/GP Janet  

[Douglas]

Dearest Courtiers:

GD Anna says I am quiet.  I hope she read my post of just yesterday when I spoke about the Chocolate Cherries.   Had a bit of a hungover this morning.  No one told me there was booze in them there candies. Today I'm sticking with rum flavored lollypops.  

Duke Robby is such a dear to buy GD Anna a new palace in the land of windmills. I did note from the photos of this palace that GD Anna has been doing some of the applying of the goldleaf to the architectual details of the interior.  She even had a few glued to her face.  She looked like the sun.

One of the thin goldleaf foils did float to the ground outside and I had my valet pick it up and send it here to Tsarskoe Selo.  The chef applied it to some cakes and I ate the cake and the goldleaf.  Wow, it sure can pick you up and I do feel much better.  Thank you GD Anna for the goldleaf cure.

Great Duke Robby, thank you so much for the costumes for the movie.  Mine is just wonderful...I like the fur collar and the leather touches here and there.  You'll be rewarded just as soon as some of the taxes are paid by the Courtiers.  A few dear ones are way behind in their taxes and tribute.  No, I will not accept a few dead or live chickens as payment.  

GD Janet, pray tell, what are you doing in Hollywood.  Warner Bros. is only the staging arena for the movie.  I know, any excuse to schmooz with the stars. We will be filming here in Tsarskoe and in Kyoto.

Air kisses, leave a lot to be desired, GD Janet.  But in this age I guess that is best that can be offered.

Happy Birthday to GD Ritka,  such a dear one you are.  

Tsar Doug..........staying clear of those liquor filled truffles.

 

[Margarita Markovna]

Thanks everyone for the birthday wishes- and anna- are you trying to send me off to finishing school or something?    

[Robby]

Great Duke Robby, thank you so much for the costumes for the movie.  Mine is just wonderful...I like the fur collar and the leather touches here and there.  You'll be rewarded just as soon as some of the taxes are paid by the Courtiers.  A few dear ones are way behind in their taxes and tribute.  No, I will not accept a few dead or live chickens as payment.  

Great you liked it!
Yeah, anything must be good for you .
I tried my best.

[Janet_W.]

Whaaaaaaaat?!?!?

You mean we're not filming in Hollywood?!?!?!?

Hmm. Okay, long as I'm here, might as well enjoy it.

Waiter, bring over some champagne, and another refill on my Cosmopolitan por favor.

The Geographically Challenged But Terribly Mellow GD/GD Janet

[Douglas]

No, dear, we're not filming in Hollywood :-/ :-/ :-/

I am still looking for a site for the location filming.    It must be a place not too hot and not too cold.

We are considering the International Space Station as a possible place.  Cool, huh?  Or even on the Moon.  Mars is a little bit too far away for our budget this time.  Besides there are no Mexican restaurants on the planet Mars as of this writing.

Tsar Doug........calling all the travel agents for location, location...locations.

[Georgiy]

Feeling much better after a slapping from GD Janet. It really was my own fault for drinking bubbly while wearing the garter of St George - it produces a very rare and unfortunate allergic reaction. But I am back to normal now and have come to a nice, secluded beach to recuperate after the excesses of too much birthday celebrating. I am incognito here on Pohutukawa Beach, but can be recognised by anyone by the big sunglasses and St George Garter. All are welcome to join me, if you can pronounce the name of the beach!

[Janet_W.]

Thanks, Imperator. And if you want another slapping, feel free to ask anytime.

Now, Tsar Doug. Re: our film site, you want a place that's not too cold and not too hot. Need I add, "But juuuuuuust right"?

Excuse me, I just heard some commotion in my kitchen.

Oh dear oh dear oh dear! Someone's been sampling my zoup! And sitting in my chair! And sleeping in my bed! Quick, issue a APMGB (All Points Mother Goose Bulletin).

Little Goldilocks GD/GP Janet,
Sitting On Her Tuffet With Her Pretty Maids, All In A Row

[Margarita Markovna]

In my opinion, the ISS would be an ideal place for filming. Imagine- no stunt people or wires, we could just float around and do it ourselves...

[Douglas]

Dearest Courtiers: I had to take today off because our dear Dr. Kinbod started my 'electrical' treatments. I tell you it was like a scene from              .

I

I tell you

I had to take today off from

Oh dear.......

 

[Janet_W.]

Dear Tsar Doug:

I was just about to log off and get going on my newspaper column (yes, moi is a columnist, too!) when I read the disturbing news. I am sending an ambulance with four paramedics posthaste. Be sure to do all they tell you because they know what is best (putting on a hospital gown,   drinking liquid charcol  , being forcefed,   etcetera etcetera) and I will visit you sometime tomorrow.

Toodle-oo, and pleasant dreams!

Sister of Mercy GD/GP Janet

[Douglas]

Well, what a day that was.  GD Janet visited me in the clinic here at Tsarskoe Selo.  The scene in my salon was right out of the film Dr. Frankenstein.  Electrical discharges were going in all directions, my hair stood on end and little Rex ran from room to room and up the drapes.  Yikes, what a sight.

The problem was that Dr. Kinbot got all confused with the electrical current.  He could not read the Chinese numbers on the machine and delivered volts instead of amps to my brain.  Wow, what a jolt.

But now all is well and I am wearing a full wig as all my hair vaporized in the blue flash of electricity.

The only thing now is that I am left with a very heavy Chinese-French accent.  What to do?

Tsar Doug......living one glorious day at a time.....  

[Janet_W.]

Dearest Claimants:

I know it's the holidays, dears, but please do take some time to visit our dear Tsar Doug, who as you know was hospitalized due to a most unfortunate accident.

Rather than candy or flowers I would suggest bring him a wig. I did so earlier today and he looks magnificent in his Prince Valiant pageboy, but I am sure that in the days and weeks ahead he will want a bit of variety.

The French accented Chinese--or is that Chinese accented French--is a bit more difficult to deal with, but just smile and nod your  head a lot, and I'm certain all will be well.

Oh, and be sure to look out for Rex the Monkey. Nasty little bugger, that.

The Simianaphobic GD/GP Janet

[Margarita Markovna]

Ahh, bring him a wig, eh? My creative juices are flowing!  

[Georgiy]

I happen to have a lovely wig that was used by our illustrious forbear, Grand Duchess Tatiana. Would it be suitable for Tsar Doug? I can drop it off later this morning on my way out to do the shopping. I'll even wear it on the way over to warm it up for him.