Imperial Claimants...Part 5

[Margarita Markovna]

When I desire to visit the homes of the courtiers I always give at least three minutes advance warning.

How kind.

Blue feathers then, as long as I can wear feathers in my hat!

[Georgiy]

I for one am going with crimson and ruby feathers.

Whoever it was that gives their servants three minutes warning of an impending visit - isn't that being just a tad too kind to them? They work for you. They should know that one is likely to drop in on them at anytime one jolly well pleases and that they should be ready for that at all hours of the day and night.

G I

[area_51]

 

[Douglas]

That was me about the three minutes.

I always give the Courtiers three minutes notice before I arrive at their various places of habitation.

That way they can have tea ready and have the embarrassing relatives out of sight and removed to the basement.

Tsar Doug........you never know when I will be knocking on your door.

[area_51]

We used to keep "the crazy aunt" up in the attic, or is that me now??  

[anna]

Dearies,

Happy to see the vonCrankypants back in town. GD Melissa you are a lucky lady, whose husband takes his little wify to freezing Lake Michigan? Such bliss, must be real luuuuve.

Tsar Doug dear, at last the keys to my success When is the official ceremony that makes me Mistress of the keys?
You know I would do anything for bling, but measuring the feet of all courtiers is a little toooo much for me. Dearie me, I had no idea about the odor of royal feet. I nearly fainted and now I walk around with a big Fabergé peg on my little nose. BTW did you see the feet of GD/GP Janet

Area_51 dearie, don't worry we are used to have crazy aunts up in the attic, so feel free to join. Tsar D. used to have the Empress in a closet for some time, but that's another story.

Anna .......tiptoeing on her little elegant feet direction crown jewels.

[Douglas]

All imperial feet must be washed and perfumed before GD Anna measures you for shoes.

The ceremony to install GD Anna as official key lady will be held in Anna Vyrubova's old house next week.  I am leasing this house to GD  Anna so that she can have some privacy when she visits Tsarskoe Selo.

GD A/A will be here for inspection later today.  Please bring some of your UFO cookies so that the cat will have something to eat.

Tsar Doug.............ready for the Moon landing

[anna]

Tsar Dougie dear,

Dearie me, after all I've done for you, zoop, chocolates, PR, songs, teabags and more zoop  
All I get is a tiny ceremony at A.V's little old cold house, thank you very much
I was hoping the inauguration would take place in the Portrait Hall or Marble Hall and afterwards a great ball with balloons, lots of bubbles and blinies :-/  
In case you can't find it we have floorplans.

Well, thanks for the privacy at A.V's place but I think I go back to Tulipland for a while. Queen B. is still at the hospital and she wants me at her side. I have to make the official announcements on tv and radio, polish her crown and shake up the royal pillow.

Unless....... you still have an option T.D.

Anna ....sloooowly packing her bags.

[Douglas]

Dearest GD Anna, the Courtier of the Year:

A big  change of plans for GD Anna.  No need to pack your bags.

Your  Key Ceremony will be in the Grand Ballroom of the Chatherine palace....followed by a Prime Rib and Lobster dinner in the Grand Dinning Hall.  We will have a Champagne fountain.

We will be using the Catherine 1820 Gold porcelain dishes and the gold tableware plus the chrystal glasses.  All of the guests will be allowed to take home their place settings as a little gift from the Tsar

The plan to lease Vyrubovas' House to GD Anna has been cancelled.  GD Anna will be awarded the entire Right Wing of the Alexander Palace.  As her staff is very large they can have the second floor and the basement for their lodgement.  GD Anna will occupy the Main Floor as her suite is growing by the hour.  I understand that she has her own chef and lady to fan her now.

The Large Library of the AP will be converted to a museum of Imperial Blings....GD Anna will be the Curator of this new Museum.  There will be a small charge to visit and of course GD Anna can keep the profits for herself.

I know, I know, the courtiers are jealous but GD Anna has been a loyal and courageous friend and I always reward my friends with nice things.

GD Anna will also be awarded the gold medal for Courtier of the Year.  This is sort of like the Oscar for best picture in America.

Also, I am having Rembrandt paint her portrait in oil.  This new portrait will hang in the Tsars' Reception Room along with other portraits of court ladies.  Of course, Anna's portrait will be larger and have a gold frame.

Tsar Doug.........that was a close call......when you mess with the GD Anna you take your life in your hands........

   

[NAAOTMA]

Anna dear,

Must you give an "A" for the Imperial Community College Course called "Tsar Management 303"...graduate level, and you have obviously passed with honors! I would never dream of being jealous, because well connected friends are the lifeblood of a courtier. Love and kisses and always best wishes from your dear dear friend GD Melissa AKA Baroness vonCrankypants and the dear doggies

P.S. Just remember that long ago and far away three little girls at boarding school dreamed of taking over the Imperial World (moi, tu and GD Janet) and you have actually now done it! And please forget when I stabbed you with a pencil in Imperial Kindergarten. That was a long time ago, and at least the pencil was Faberge...

[anna]

Tsar Doug my dearie,



For once I'm speechless.

Thank you sooooooo much.

You're the greatest of all Tsars, Douglas the Great . Courtiers will bow, walk backwards and call you the noblest of all men. Pilgrims from all over the world will kiss your perfumed feet and behold your glorious face.
Your star will rise and our royal alien cousins will put it in a frame.
And I will come over every day and we have a nice cuppa tea.

Loyal Anna

[anna]

Message, only for the Grand Duchesses eyes.

Girlies, did you see what I got??
How......well,
*Make a dramatic scene or two, with three you start getting on the Tsar's nerves.
*Threat with leaving, pack your bag slowly, let a servant put your bagage in the main hall and call a cab.
*Sob as loud as you can - use waterproof mascara- and say it's sooo unfair, you feel neglected after all you've done. Keep on sobbing- very important-most Tsars are very sensitive to a crying GD.
*Say you will leave all your blings behind and live in great poverty. Don't tell the Tsar what you have in your purse.
  The Grand finale.........
* Drag yourself dramaticaly towards the door -still sobbing- instruct your maids to clung at your feet- mind your silk stockings!
* Look over your shoulder at the door and whisper: Farewell, Au Revoir and Adieu with a broken voice.
*Slam the door!

Well dearies, in less than a minute you're back in the palace and get all what you want  

This is what I call Method Acting.

Anna

[Margarita Markovna]

I see that as a new book in the gift shop...

[Janet_W.]

And what about my feet?!  

The GD/GP "Proud of Her Tootsies" Janet

[area_51]

For Anna,

(If you are not Anna stop peaking!)

Dahhhhhhling!

Congrats on the keys and incredible installation party et al. I don't know what kind of method your method is, but the bottom line is if it does or doesn't work! In my era (old alien as I am) we called it the power of feminine persuasion.  

Some might even call it witchcraft but probably it's more what I prefer to call "witchcraft" with a B! hehehe  

I'll be happy to attend your ball, bring you wonderful venusian diamonds etc. AND you don't have to worry about my new shoes since I have someone to take care of that already. Fitting alien feet can be arduous.

Now as for that "crazy aunt in the attic" routine.... hehehe let's just say that's my method! Oh, and one last piece of girlish advice: When I married my first husband we were very much in love, the passion was real,we were poor and the bling was fake. I got older and wiser...  Now the passion is fake and the bling is REAL, and I don't worry where the next filet mignon is coming from!  

Let's just keep that our secret... what do you say?