Author Topic: IF Anwering Machine Messages  (Read 44903 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline edubs31

  • Velikye Knyaz
  • ****
  • Posts: 1014
    • View Profile
Re: IF Anwering Machine Messages
« Reply #135 on: February 05, 2013, 09:43:09 AM »
"This is Satan.  I can't take your call right now because I'm too busy torturing Lenin and Co..  Please leave your name and number, and I'll get back to you when I can."  *BEEEP!*

Tim, actually this might seem even more realistic...

"Hello, you've reached the law firm of Satan, Stalin, and Lenin. We are currently out of the office and working on our heavy Soviet case load. Please leave us a message and your call will be returned promptly. If you need immediate assistance GO TO HELL...Beep!"
Once in a while you get shown the light, in the strangest of places if you look at it right...

Offline TimM

  • Moderator
  • Velikye Knyaz
  • *****
  • Posts: 1940
    • View Profile
Re: IF Anwering Machine Messages
« Reply #136 on: February 05, 2013, 11:51:50 AM »
Yeah, that sounds more like them.
Cats: You just gotta love them!

Offline ConanDrogo

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 0
    • View Profile
Re: IF Anwering Machine Messages
« Reply #137 on: February 05, 2013, 06:30:56 PM »
LOL!
I live, I love, I Slay and I am Content

Offline Rodney_G.

  • Knyaz
  • ****
  • Posts: 840
  • an angel .....and the best of them
    • View Profile
Re: IF Anwering Machine Messages
« Reply #138 on: February 06, 2013, 10:08:17 AM »
"This is Satan.  I can't take your call right now because I'm too busy torturing Lenin and Co..  Please leave your name and number, and I'll get back to you when I can."  *BEEEP!*

Tim, actually this might seem even more realistic...

"Hello, you've reached the law firm of Satan, Stalin, and Lenin. We are currently out of the office and working on our heavy Soviet case load. Please leave us a message and your call will be returned promptly. If you need immediate assistance GO TO HELL...Beep!"

Bingo! and Ouch!
Rodney G.

Offline ConanDrogo

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 0
    • View Profile
Re: IF Anwering Machine Messages
« Reply #139 on: February 07, 2013, 03:13:53 PM »
I got one:
Anastasia: I am not here right now. I am under the bed hiding from my sisters for somethings I had say to them. So please your name and your number and I might get back to you. BEEP!
I live, I love, I Slay and I am Content

Offline Jen_94

  • Knyaz
  • ****
  • Posts: 631
    • View Profile
    • GrandRoyalPalace
Re: IF Anwering Machine Messages
« Reply #140 on: February 08, 2013, 06:27:07 PM »
I've got one! Thought of this a few minutes ago...

Olga: Hello, Sorry Iam not avaliable to take this call, I-
*Anastasia wandering in, reading in a loud voice* Anastasia: Oh and I met this lovely standart officer that I really quite- *looks up and sees Olga giving a death glare* uh-oh.
Olga: ANASTASIA! GIVE ME BACK MY DIARY! *Beep* 


Offline ANR13

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 4
  • I often see you in dreams. Do you see me?
    • View Profile
Re: IF Anwering Machine Messages
« Reply #141 on: February 09, 2013, 04:29:20 PM »
If only I could think of a worthy suggestion !

This is genuinely one of my favourite threads on this site :)

Offline Galactic_Misfit

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 65
  • Currently living in the jetstream
    • View Profile
Re: IF Anwering Machine Messages
« Reply #142 on: February 09, 2013, 09:00:04 PM »
Anastasia: Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep!

Offline Galactic_Misfit

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 65
  • Currently living in the jetstream
    • View Profile
Re: IF Anwering Machine Messages
« Reply #143 on: February 09, 2013, 09:09:31 PM »
Got some more!
Maria: This is 555-0000, and no, it's not Pete's Pizzaria. It's not the Credit Union either, and no one named Dave lives here. You can leave a message though.

Olga: Answer the phone, please, Nastya. Anastasia: I'm sorry, Olya, I can't do that.

Anastasia: This is a test. This is a test of the Answering Machine Broadcast System. This is only a test.

Anastasia: No! NO! Not THAT! Anything but that! Not the beep! No! Please! Not the beep! Anything but the beep! AAAAIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
« Last Edit: February 09, 2013, 09:14:42 PM by strange_phenom »

Offline TimM

  • Moderator
  • Velikye Knyaz
  • *****
  • Posts: 1940
    • View Profile
Re: IF Anwering Machine Messages
« Reply #144 on: February 10, 2013, 01:22:36 AM »
Nice to see this thread active again.
Cats: You just gotta love them!

Offline ConanDrogo

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 0
    • View Profile
Re: IF Anwering Machine Messages
« Reply #145 on: February 22, 2013, 09:58:51 AM »
I got one:
This is Olga I can't come to the phone because I am chasing Nastaya for reading my diary! So please a message after the beep.
BEEP!
Anastasia: Na Na Na I got your diary! (raspberry)
(Marie giggling)
I live, I love, I Slay and I am Content

Offline JamesAPrattIII

  • Knyaz
  • ****
  • Posts: 857
    • View Profile
Re: IF Anwering Machine Messages
« Reply #146 on: March 07, 2013, 09:29:11 PM »
I have some more:

This is the Alexander Palace at tsarskoe Selo
If you wish to speak to a member of the Imperial family please press 1
If you wish to speak to the minester of the courts office please press 2
If you wish to speak to court security please press 3
For all other inquires including imployment opportunities please press 4

If you press one you get:
All calls to His Imperial Majesty have to go through palace security
if you wish to speak to her Imperial majesty please press 1
if you wish to speak to Their imperial Highnesses please press 2
(yes, i know by todays standards OTMAA were astery brought up one telephone for 5 children!)

Post Mach 1917
This is the Alexander palace at Tsarkoe Selo
If you wish to speak to the Minester of the courts office please press 1
If you wish to speak to the officer of the guards office please press 2
All cals to Citizen Rmanov and family must go through the officer of the guards office.

Post September 1917
This is the alexander palace at tsarskoe selo the former Minester of the courts office our office hours are 9 to 5 Monday through friday.

1918
I'm sorry this number has been disconected and is no longer in service.

This is the Govenors Mansion at tobolsk
If you wish to speak to the Commissars office please press 1
If you want Colonel kobylinsky's office please press 2
if you wish to speak to the duty officer please press 3
All cals relating to citizen romanov and family must go through the commissars office

From june 1918
I'm sorry the number has been disconected or is no longer in service.

Offline JamesAPrattIII

  • Knyaz
  • ****
  • Posts: 857
    • View Profile
Re: IF Anwering Machine Messages
« Reply #147 on: March 08, 2013, 08:18:07 PM »
I have another one:
This is the Somoly Institute I'm sorry that all new addmissions and classes have been cancelled until further notice. The Institute is now Bolshevik party headquarters. If you wish to speak to commrade Lenin's office please press 1
If you want to speak to the offices of the other commissars please press 2
If you want to join the Bolshevik party and help build a better Russia please press 3
All other inquiries including joining the Red Guards and employment at the insitute please press 4

I realize this is slightly O/T and may not be all that funny.

Offline Kalafrana

  • Velikye Knyaz
  • ****
  • Posts: 2912
    • View Profile
Re: IF Anwering Machine Messages
« Reply #148 on: March 09, 2013, 01:50:22 AM »
James

On the contrary, I think it is very funny!

Just to add:

If you wish to report an enemy of the people, please press 5.

Ann

Offline IvanVII

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 87
    • View Profile
Re: IF Anwering Machine Messages
« Reply #149 on: March 10, 2013, 06:54:03 AM »
I have some more:

This is the Alexander Palace at tsarskoe Selo
If you wish to speak to a member of the Imperial family please press 1
If you wish to speak to the minester of the courts office please press 2
If you wish to speak to court security please press 3
For all other inquires including imployment opportunities please press 4

If you press one you get:
All calls to His Imperial Majesty have to go through palace security
if you wish to speak to her Imperial majesty please press 1
if you wish to speak to Their imperial Highnesses please press 2
(yes, i know by todays standards OTMAA were astery brought up one telephone for 5 children!)

Post Mach 1917
This is the Alexander palace at Tsarkoe Selo
If you wish to speak to the Minester of the courts office please press 1
If you wish to speak to the officer of the guards office please press 2
All cals to Citizen Rmanov and family must go through the officer of the guards office.

Post September 1917
This is the alexander palace at tsarskoe selo the former Minester of the courts office our office hours are 9 to 5 Monday through friday.

1918
I'm sorry this number has been disconected and is no longer in service.

This is the Govenors Mansion at tobolsk
If you wish to speak to the Commissars office please press 1
If you want Colonel kobylinsky's office please press 2
if you wish to speak to the duty officer please press 3
All cals relating to citizen romanov and family must go through the commissars office

From june 1918
I'm sorry the number has been disconected or is no longer in service.

Nobody of any importance has ever lived at this number. Please recheck your number. If you think we are mistaken please turn yourself in to the nearest Soviet for reeducation.