Imperial Claimants Part .......6

[Janet_W.]

Ship to Shore Message for Imperial Claimant Highness The Grand Duchess Anna

Dear GD Anna:

How very jolly to be on a ship in the middle of the ocean with darling Shvibzik and her steel drum!   Also, the very idea of listening to her Serf Slang, day in and day out . . . well, darling, you do realize, I imagine, how very very jealous I am of you?  

In the meantime, I've been dusting the bling at the museum. Occasionally I move it around and--too too dreadful--sometimes misplace a bling or two.    But, I am certain Tsar Doug will be forgiving.

Continue to send me updates, darling one--

Your Cousin and Former Boarding School Buddy
The GD/GP Janet

[Douglas]

Spending the morning tracing the embedded chips to find the missing blings.

Tsar Doug........sending SOS to GD Anna

[NAAOTMA]

Dear Tsar Doug,

The dear Baron vonCrankypants would like you to please return his DVDs of THE X-FILES, as they are his favorites and you promised to only keep them overnight. That was over a week ago. Perhaps overviewing has lead you to believe you were in outer space when perhaps you were just napping between zouptime and teatime. The idea that being Tsar of the Russian Lands has been replaced by Tsar of Outer Space is rather alot for loyal courtiers to absorb. We are just getting into the swing of the Winter Court Season, and we now have visions of an intergalatic population explosion courtesy of yourself instead of memories of last night's brilliant Court Reception. Sort of makes one one's taste for caviar, by the by...

Please remember to be practical about the everyday tasks of being Tsar on Planet Earth---check that GD Janet is not suddenly selling blings on her very own homeshopping channel. Since that poor girl lost her Taco Cart down Mexico Way she finds rather unusual ways to supplement her allowance from the Privy Purse. And you know how GD Anna will react if she finds that the Museum of Blings has become The Former Museum of Blings. You could very well become the Former Tsar Doug. And end up permanently in Outer Space with no parole ever ever ever.

caio for now, GD Melissa and the dear doggies

[Janet_W.]

Why, GD Melissa! My former schoolmate!  

How could you even think that I, your nearest and dearest childhood companion, would be so dastardly as to sell the Tsar's blings?  I mean . . . really!!  

Actually, I think it's quite amazing of T.D. to microchip the blings--and what a challenge to do so! However, you know how clever people are today, and it may be that whoever has the misplaced blings has it all figured out.  

And, of course, those borrowed DVDs do not explain the appearance of our latest claimant relation, Area 51, who may be hovering nearby at this very moment. (FYI, she's very handy with a taser.) So, darling, as that song that Annette and Darlene sang on The Misha Mouse Club Show goes:

"Don't jump--
Jump to conclusions
It may result in confusion!"

How's that for rolling back the years?  

Yours for tolerance
The GD/GP Janet

P.S. Hey everybody, be sure to check out gdgpjanethomeshopping.com for some really rad bling bargins!





D'oh!!!

:-/

[anna]

Ahha... The Former Museum of Bling?
My little blinkety blings

I knew it, I knew it.
Stop this ship, turn the Gigantic immediately.

Splash..............


Blub

[Janet_W.]

Would somebody pul-leaze send GD Anna some waterwings?

GD/GP Janet

[area_51]

And, of course, those borrowed DVDs do not explain the appearance of our latest claimant relation, Area 51, who may be hovering nearby at this very moment. (FYI, she's very handy with a taser.)
-/

Did someone call my name???

taser/ schmazer rrrrrrrrr

I'm up to my elbows in alien pampers!

[NAAOTMA]

Darling GD Janet, Oh School Buddy Dear O'Mine,

I know that you are being brave and independent, instead of doing the crass thing and marrying for money and position with a dash of true love thrown in as I did. But you know how dear Anna loves her dear blings, and your life won't be worth loo paper if she finds any of hers missing. So please have a bling recall fast on GDShopping.com!!!!!

In my earlier note, my reference to caviar was obscured by a typo...never did get typing down pat, just like Fergie I threw the machine out of the window when my dear daddy sent me off to business skills to learn some "life skills" after my first deb season. Even though the vonCrankypants sparkler was on the ring finger of my left hand, dear daddy worried about me going out into the world only knowing how to do a dinner seating plan and instructing house servants. Anyway, back to the caviar...all this talk of alien babies, which must look rather like tadpoles, is enough to put one off caviar...

Anna dear wired me that she is safe and sound and drying out and off in Monaco as the guest of Prince Macarena...  caio for now lovies, GD Melissa and the dear doggies

[Shvibzik]

*cough blabber sputter*

Urgent Message to Tsarskoe

GD Anna got word of her Former Museum of Blings and told Popeye to turn the boat around, and he did so very fast.  Unfortunately, I was "in school" in my fourth core class, science--and for that class our classroom is the ocean.

In short, I am stranded smack dab in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, not sure which was is Hawaii. :-/

SOS  

Shv--*cough sputter* (still don't have snorkling down )

[Margarita Markovna]

Everybody to the rowboats!!

Schvib, would you like a PB&J or ham sandwich when we rescue you?

[area_51]

HANG ON SHVIBZIK!

Auntie is locking in on you right now and beaming you right back to the palace.

(thank God for alien technology)

[Shvibzik]

I don't know if it was all that sea weed I managed to get down my throat or that alien technology, but once I landed in Ritka's rowboat, I was green and my eyes were huge ovals.

*sniffle* I think what I need right now is some Doritos and Cookies-n-Cream...

Shvibzik, covering my head with my lunch bag

[Georgiy]

I am having an emergency tub of cookies'n'cream shipped to you post haste. Can't help with the doritos though.

Georgiy Imperator

[Janet_W.]

Well, that's a mercy, I must say. But what of our dynamic GD Anna?

The GD/GP J

P.S. Back to you soon, GD Melissa . . . alas, must stop now as my message transmitter is getting weak . . .

[Margarita Markovna]

Don't worry, we'll stop at an Imperial Shoprite and get Doritos...