Imperial Claimants Part .......6

[Douglas]

Dearest Grand Duchess and aunties:

Not to worry.  Your contribution to the baby space aliens was a mere slip of a fingernail.  The rest was done by cloning.  You didn't even have to board the UFO...it was done in the middle of the night whilst you slept like angels.

Of course, I had to contribute the real deal.  The space aliens would accept nothing but the authentic  potion. The ladies have no idea what we males have to endure to populate the universe....but then I did it all in the name of science.

Tsar Doug..........populating the universe by remote control

[Janet_W.]

Dear Put-Upon Tsar Doug:

In celebration of your multitudinous sacrifices, I am revising a previous poem to reflect a more current event:

     Newly Elected German Chancellor Angela Merkel
     You look very commanding in purple.

Also, I have okay'ed preproduction on a sequel to the classic Mars Needs Women, to be tentatively titled The Universe Needs Tsar Doug.

I closing, I have only one thing to say:

Run! Run for your lives! Soylent Green is Tsar Doug!

Yours for population control,

The GD/GP Janet

[area_51]

Where are all the nieces when you need them?  

Does anyone want to come down here to the Imperial Nursery and help out? Auntie has her hands full of alien dirty diapers and there's an awful lot of bottles that need a washing!

Most cherished niece, how about a bed time story for the kiddies?

[Douglas]

The universe has squeezed me like a spent lemon..there's hardly anything left.  After the space aliens get what they want...they abandon you like like yesterdays leftover pancakes.

Back at  Tsarskoe recuperating after my space ordeal to populate the local universe.

GD Anna's zoop was a great help...it put my health back on track.  Her recipe is available on Ebay.

I guess Area 51 will have to wash those bottles herself.  But help is on the way via NASA.  

Back to being Tsar today and  trying to forget about my days as intergalactic superstud.

Tsar Doug..........and I thought that being Tsar was hard work........

[area_51]

dear me!  You KNOW just how much I loathe and distrust NASA!  

[anna]

Area 51 and dearies,

Nasa promised to sent Nana and Tinkerbell to help in the imperial nursery, they were the only flying nannies available at the moment. GD/Janet and moi prefered Mary Poppins or the Flying Nunn but they retired long time ago.

Tsar D. I am sorry but you have to be squeezed once more- that is your brains and pocket. I brooded over the problem all night. If there is an alien heir who's going to be the empress mum or dowager, GD/Janet or moi?? What about alimonies?? I have to think of my future and that of GD/Janet, as she is a showbiz and no bussines woman....sigh

I am set to leave for a cruise on the Gigantic, taking the little GD Shvibzik with me, the best boarding school is of course on board.
My secretary Zoya Hilariouskaya will keep in touch with me through Morse code and will be watching you day and night ( telescope)

Unsinkable Anna .....a deep ocean of secrets

[Douglas]

Dearest Anna:

Well I see you are off on a  luxury holiday cruise in a huge floating palace ship.

Meanwhile I am left to run your Bling Museum, pour coffee at the Starbucks and sell postcards and Teddy Bears at the little museum giftshop.  I suppose I have to sweep the floor at closing time.

I thought your pension and retirement came from the tickets you sell to your Bling Museum.  If that is not enough money just ask that the patrons pay 12 Eur  to check their coats and hats.  

Don't worry, dear, you can be the Dowager for the space aliens kids...they'll call you Auntie Anna Queen of Blings and other things.

I am still recovering from my trip in  the UFO.  I am seeing spots and am still floating around the room.

Tsar Doug..........wondering if GD  Janet, the interplanetary  songster of outer space hit songs,   will help here at the Bling Museum???

[Janet_W.]

Dear Tsar Doug:

As GD Anna says, I am not so much Ms. Business as Ms. Show Biz.    Think, for example, about all my woes during the Tijuana pushcart days. Ah, the ignominy of it all!  :-/  So, I don't know if helping out in the Bling Museum is such a good idea. Unless, of course, you're giving out samples.



Of bling.  


The Wary, Mustn't Tary
Interplanetary Songster
Who Can't Stay Any Longster--

The GD/GP Janet

[area_51]

I am still recovering from my trip in  the UFO.  I am seeing spots and am still floating around the room.

If you can find the time what with all your new found responsibilities to come down to the Imerial Nursery, or get me some help down here so I can have a break....

I have just the remedy for your symptoms!

[Margarita Markovna]

*cries* I thought starting new threads was my job. Of course, when Tsar Doug does it instead of asking me to do it, it's not quite so bad...but I won't be replaced quietly.

Most cherished niece, how about a bed time story for the kiddies?

Sure...as long as I don't have to wash diapers and bottles!

[Janet_W.]

Darling Ritka, I thought you had left already for boarding school. Or was that Shivbzik? Oh dear, how very very vexing . . .  

The Confuddled GD/GP Janet

[Douglas]

Sorry GD Ritka, I really did not mean to take over your imperial duties.  I will try and notify you next time when we need another thread started. I figured you were busy with your  theatre and acting parts.

Don't worry, dear one, you have not been replaced.

Tsar Doug........collecting admission fees at the Bling Museum whilst GD Anna is cruising with her secretary and staff of imperial guards....such a life.

PS:  Our dear Janet is perplexed, bewildered and nonplused about just what the courtiers are doing these tempestuous days.  I do understand she longs for her simple days and the Taco Cart on Avenue Revolucion in Tijuana.............  

[Janet_W.]

Ah, yes, Tsar Doug . . . fondly do I remember those days of yore   . . . so much merriment, so much laughter, so many hopes and dreams now all tattered and broken . . . Say, do I hear a violin playing?  

The Ever-Nostalgic GD/GP Janet

[Margarita Markovna]

I feel much better now.

No, I am not yet at boarding school. I insisted on a single room, and there wasn't one available, so they're sending my classwork over the Imperial Internet. I should leave as soon as there's a proper room available...

[Shvibzik]

I'm the unlucky one that has gone to boarding school.  Or, at least I was unlucky until Anna took me onto the Grand Duchess cruise ship, which comes built in with a school.  I'm in the band and play the steel drum, and for P.E., we go swimming.  In science, we go scuba diving.  For English we're learning Serf Slang.

Yours for school,
Shvibzik, sending messages sea gull-style