Princess Mary, the Princess Royal

[kayekaye]

Forgive me if this has been covered elsewhere. I haven't found anything on it.

I've read somewhere (& if I could remember where I'd cite it but I can't) that the night before her wedding, Princess Mary cried her heart out, apparently over a lost love or even at the prospect of marrying Viscount Lascelles.

The stories of her marriage are in contrast - that they were amiable partners, delighting in their shared interests of racing and antiques - or that he was cold and even abusive to her and that it was an obviously unhappy marriage.

The pressures on the Princess regarding the political implications of her matrimonial prospects must have been immense. It was like she had to marry a top-drawer member of the English arisotcracy. And it was rumoured Lascelles proposed to her as a bet at his club.

I do hope this isn't prurient or wild speculation - I have often wondered if there was more to her infamous shyness than the circumstances and experiences of her upbringing. I recall from Queen Mary's diary on the family being notified of the engagement the observation: "We had an uproarious tea and Mary was simply beaming!" There's something about that that has never rung quite true to me, and this was before I'd heard of any of the above rumours - somehow I got the impression that deep and contrary feelings were being desparately hidden.

[Marlene]

Apart from the two hagiographies on mary published in the 1920s, no one has attempted a serious biography.  Lascelles was some years older than Mary, and very, very rich, which was important.  It certainly was not a love match, but not a completely arranged marriage either  - the family did not have an issue with an aristocrat marriage for any of the children.
But the marriage was not a successful one.  Lord Lascelles was said to be a brutal man, and Mary may have been a victim of spouse abuse.   She lived largely away from court, but did carry out various duties.  There were rumors that she wanted to divorce her husband but this was unlikely to happen in view of the Windsor marriage.  She remained close to David

[grandduchessella]

She seemed radiant on her wedding day--very big smiles so unlike many of her public photos. I always thought that it started well even if it didn't end up a happy match. I guess the best way to find out is if one of their sons speaks about it, if they haven't already.

GV wrote to his aunt Louise upon Mary's marriage:

'Dearest Aunt Louise, How dear of you to write me those kind words of sympathy. I was proud of my dear child on Tuesday and she looked happy and I know is happy. But it was a terribly sad day for me. I can't tell you how I miss her and fear I always shall, she is my only daughter and had never been away from us except for a few days--since she was born. The blank she has left in the house is awful  and I still feel miserable. But I mustn't be selfish.'

[B5218]

From an article in Royalty ... unknown date ... by Brenda Ralph Lewis

After her marriage ".. Mary soon revelled in country life and the imposing beauties of the moors ... readily accepted by Yorskhire folk, who were not known for their love of "southerners" ...She preferred to concentrate on good works in Yorkshire.  There she, especially concerned herself with the unemployed who proliferated in the north of England during the Depression years of the 1930s"

She served variously during the war.  After her husband died in 1947, she became a semi-recluse for a time.  Eventually she want back to work, touring Canada, Nigeria, and representing the Queen at Zambia's independence.

This was an interesting article but it didn't give anything about the marriage, only to say ...

"Fortunately, King George already knew and liked Lascelles, who was one of his shooting pals.  Even so, Lascelles was no Sir Galahad.  Fourteen years Mary's senior, he lacked charm and had such mournful looks that he was known as "the dismal bloodhound."

[lancashireladandre]

The present Lord Harewood (Mary's elder son) wrote his memoirs some time ago.The younger son is long dead.

[Eddie_uk]

GV wrote to his aunt Louise upon Mary's marriage:

'Dearest Aunt Louise, How dear of you to write me those kind words of sympathy. I was proud of my dear child on Tuesday and she looked happy and I know is happy. But it was a terribly sad day for me. I can't tell you how I miss her and fear I always shall, she is my only daughter and had never been away from us except for a few days--since she was born. The blank she has left in the house is awful  and I still feel miserable. But I mustn't be selfish.'

What a lovely letter! So sweet. Thank you!

[kayekaye]

Queen Mary also missed her daughter. She wrote (of Mary's post-matrimonial absence from York Cottage) that "Her corridor seems so empty now..."
According to the present Earl, interviewed on tv for (I think) 'The Windsors, his mother "hated York Cottage...and I suspect that Queen Mary did too!"

[royal_netherlands]

What a interesthing thread  Tdora, and some great info thank you.

PS ( the letter from GV to his aunt is really sweet)

   Thank you
royal netherlands

[grandduchessella]

The present Lord Harewood (Mary's elder son) wrote his memoirs some time ago.The younger son is long dead.

I was aware he did (Tongs and Bones?) but haven't ever read them. Does he talk much of his parents?

[Marlene]

I was aware he did (Tongs and Bones?) but haven't ever read them. Does he talk much of his parents?

More about opera ...   rather circumspect about his parents.  Several years ago, Harewood House had a nice exhibit on Mary.

[kayekaye]

In the same TV interview for 'The Windsors' (2001 - ish) that I mentioned already, the Earl of Harewood also said of his parents (and I cannot promise this is an absolutely verbatim quote but given its effect on me its as good as, 'cos it went straight to my heart) :

"We did not talk of our feelings or what we meant to each other, but rather our duty. and what one ought to do..."

I'm convinced that there are some rather poignant secrets left buried and behind in this story.
Maybe thats where I should be content to leave them.... :-/

[kayekaye]

GV wrote to his aunt Louise upon Mary's marriage:

'Dearest Aunt Louise, How dear of you to write me those kind words of sympathy. I was proud of my dear child on Tuesday and she looked happy and I know is happy..'

Such an emotive emphasis...
I can't help wondering if her father was trying to convince both himself and his aunt that this was indeed the case. I can't quite credit GV with advanced dissembling but wonder that he would use such terms without maybe needing to reassure himself as well as the addressee. Thinking about his letters to May: touching and charming they no doubt were but they were also necessary given their self-confessed stiffness with each other in the early days and the effect this certainly had on May.

[boffer]

Harewood house currently has an exhibitoon on, in the below stairs rooms about Princess mary, including her wedding dress which is on display.

[grandduchessella]

I think he did believe she was happy--and she certainly looked it from many photos of the wedding day, moreso than even some brides we know for sure were happy. If there was an emphasis I think it's because he did want to reassure himself that it was such because it was so painful to let her go and I don't think he would've for anything less than her happiness.

He was a much more emotional man in letters and with women in general--his mother, his sisters, his wife, his daughter, his aunts Queen Olga and Marie Coburg, Missy, etc...

[boffer]

The wedding day.