The 8th Thread For Imperial Claimants

[Janet_W.]

Dearest Zoya:

Speaking of hospital restrictions, that wasn't exactly discreet of GD "Bonbon" Anna to enter the hospital in a Mata Hari outfit and start dancing the sacred Indian dance in the doorway of Tsar Doug's hospital suite. I beg you to restrain her from future displays of flamboyant behavior and instead encourage her to provide a more modest and decorous form of entertainment for our dear hospitalized Tsar . . . e.g., the Radio City Music Hall Rockettes and I will be kicking--that is, presenting--T.D.'s breakfast tray tomorrow at 6:30 a.m. sharp.

Warming up at the bar with leg stetches, I remain

The Terpsichorian GD/GP Janet

[Janet_W.]

Dearest GD Anna Banana:

So there you were when the Rockettes and I line-kicked into the hallway, dancing the famous Josephine Baker dance for Tsar Doug--in other words, attired in nothing but bananas.

Is this any way for T.D. to get some rest?!?

Your Concerned Fellow Claimant--
The GD/GP Janet

[anna]

GD Janet..Baker Dearie,

Pardonnez moi.. indiscreet and flamboyant behavior?

Madame... I would call it mysterious, sensual and above all comme il faut. Line-kicking is not my cuppa tea.

Anna 8-).......The real Chiquita Banana.

[anna]

You do know that it's ONLY for Tsar Doug that we EVER remove our bling, right?

Yes dearie, this is an exeptional situation, we don't want to overthrow Tsar Doug's monitor.

But remember the Claimants Family Code:
Whatever happens, whatever you do, wherever you are; DO NOT REMOVE YOUR BLING!

Be a good girlie, behave yourself when visiting Tsar Doug, and keep your hands of the manual control of his bed!!!

Anna 8-)

[Janet_W.]

Dearest GD Chiquita Mata Hari Josephine Baker Anna:

Well, call it what you will, but as you yourself mentioned, we certainly don't want to throw T.D.'s heart monitor out of kilter!!

I myself prefer rhythmic high kicks to mysterious & exotic dances, but hey, whatever floats one's boat . . .

The GD/GP "She Certainly Can Can-Can" Janet

[Margarita Markovna]

and keep your hands of the manual control of his bed!!!

darn.

[anna]

GD Janet if you Can -Can you give my regards to Monsieur Zig-Zag? You'll find him at the Moulin Rouge each saturday 10.30pm. When you meet him please Don't ask what he's doing on his knees on the floor and beg him to stand up.

Anna 8-)

Ps. I'm giving a special balalaika recital at Tsar Dougs bed, do come if you Can make it.

[anna]

Yesterday when leaving the hospital after my succesful balalaika recital, Tsar D. requested to post these words:


Dear Courtiers:

yes, it was a wild night here at the Imperial Wing of the Hosptial in Tsarskoe Selo.

What with GD Janet and her dance routine my monitor went totally off track, sirens sounded and the fire chief arrived with hoses.  

GD Anna arrived with her zoop and my cholesterol monitor dropped to zero so they have to infused a ton of cholesterol over night.  I am eating prime rib and lots of gravey around the clock to make up for the loss.

Everyone has decided that solid gold heart tubes will be attached in the Operating Room.  The bill arrived from Fabrege last night and I naturally paid from my little piggy bank that Rex brought.  Such fun here.

I did receive a note from the former Empress from her convent east of the Urals.  That woman!!!  What can I say.  Shewas wondering about my Last Will and Testament.  Such a dear one.

Tsar Doug..........having a great time at the spa....see you all soon....

[Janet_W.]

Dear Patient T.D.:

Aw, c'mon, you really loved those sirens and that impromptu power wash!

BTW, I too rec'd a Empress-O-Gram from your immortal beloved. She is arriving on the Tsarkoe Special tomorrow. Don't worry, we have decided against an official welcome (military band, etcetera etcetera) at the station. However, she has informed Hudson, my schloss's butler, to ready the imperial guest suite as well as accomodations for eight servants. Gadzooks. Such a to-do in getting ready for her Ex-Imperial Personage. Shall I send the bill to your hospital address?

The Kopek-Poor GD/GP Janet

[anna]

GD Janet dearie,

How about starting an Anti-Empress campaign

We hang pamphlets all over town with slogans like: 'We are not amused' .... 'We're not content, go back to the convent'..... 'GD's wear bling, ex-Empresses don't get a thing' .... 'Alas no place in the palace'

Anna 8-) [smiley=engel017.gif]

[Janet_W.]

Dear GD Anna:

Interesting suggestion, but with one little wrinkle: I have just been hired as a cub reporter for The Tsarkoe Inquirer, found at the check-out lines of all your very best Tsarkoe supermarkets. And of course EVERYONE is just FASCINATED by the mythology that has grown up around their exiled former Empress. So because I am a member of the media and must therefore be [ahem] fair and balanced, I am afraid I cannot initiate or even participate in an Anti-Empress campaign.

Of course, the fact that T.D.'s former esposa is staying at my schloss is really not a problem since she will be there at the invitation of my dear butler, Hudson.

Anyway, toodle-oo . . . gotta run over to the Inquirer office and pick up some pens, a writing pad, and one of those cameras that can peer through hospital windows from half a mile away.

The GD/GP "Lois Lane" Janet

[Shvibzik]

Or are you just afraid, dearest aunt? :-? Hm, I wonder.

As for my other auntie, Anna, I will join your campaign.  If fact, today I managed to slip some T.D.'s sleeping pills into the Empress's tea, so we are now free to scribble on her face--she needs a makeover anyway.  

Permanent markers must be paid for at the door, and royalty gets a discount. 8-)

Enterprising,
GD Shvibzik  

[Janet_W.]

I afraid, Darling Shvibzik? Heavens to Elizaveta of course not . . . no more than you are non-enterprising!    But how good to hear from you! I do confess, though, that assisting my butler in looking after the Ex-Empress is quite . . . ahem . . . challenging. However, we must have our story, so we tolerate oh-so-much!

The GD/GP Supplicant Toady Janet

[Janet_W.]

Attention All Claimants: Just read over the Imperial Claimant news wire that Tsar Doug himself has issued a brief bulletin, stating that his surgery was a success and that he is doing well.

Please keep it quiet that his Ex his in residence at my schloss, okay? We don't want to complicate the recovery period.

The GD/GP Playing-Both-Sides-of-the-Palace Janet

[anna]

Dearies,

Thank you GD Janet dearie for the good news, we can expect Tsar Doug back real soon.

This  means we have to clean up the mess we made at the palace :

GD Janet please remove your petticoats from the chandelier in the big hall, your tapdance shoes from Tsar D's billiard table, the tequilla bottles from behind the sofa's. Bring back the imperial throne, our china,  the imperial quards you took and other objects d'art.

GD's Ritka and Shvibs,....Infantry playing is over. Say farewell to your regiment and bring all Tsar D's uniforms, helmets.boots and regalia back to his personal suite. Don't forget the horses in the drawing room and put all the carpets of which you made tents back on their places. On the double!!!!

Et moi? I shall wear all my bling,, sing my songs, stir the Zoop and put on the kettle.

Anna 8-)  Yesssss......I'll return the imperial crown.