The 8th Thread For Imperial Claimants

[Robert_Hall]

Thank you for your most gracious greetings!
 Yes, the dear, departed, Emperor Norton was much beloved and also "Protector of Mexico" to boot. We now have Emperor 35  after Norton and  Absolute Empress 41. Not quite sure how that discrepancy  is worked out. However, we all know  how well certain empresses can deal with recalcitrant emperors, do we not?
 My role as Chancellor and Legate of the  Forbidden City of the  Emperor T'ang in exile is seperate, fortunately, I get to play with the money. Riches untold and adventures  always afoot. Plus the milage  points are very generous.
 Need not fret about the diamonds,  as they will be on their way after we replensih our supply from  the sahdy dealings in  central Africa.
  Many chers to all!
 HRH Lord Robert

[Douglas]

Hi  there, HRH Lord Robert.   

You say you are Legate of the Forbidden City.  That is really fantastic.  Please plan for us all to vist that fabled city of the oriental realms.  Also, I did hear that there was a branch office of the Forbidden City in San Francisco a while back and they had a fabulous floor show that was the rage back in the day.  Were you also somehow involved?

Emperor Norton was Protector of Mexico.  I know, I have heard that in royal circles.  You do know that quite a few of our Imperial family are from that land south of the border?  We visit their palacios from time to time.  Did you know that I actually own the entire city of Tijuana? Yes, not  many people know this but tis true.


Tsar Douglas.............no one likes the new drapes.  Oh well, I may use them in my next drama production as a costume for GD Janet.  Great idea, huh?  You know I used to be in movies.

[Janet_W.]

I do believe Tsar Doug is referring to Beach Blanket Babylon. Quite a show, though alas no role in it for me.

As for HRH Lord Robert, I have a strange presentiment that he plans to be "43."

The GD/GP Janet

[Robert_Hall]

The  Forbidden City of the  T'ang Dynasty, in exile is undergoing renovation, currently, after tragisc earthquakes and other disruptions.  I shall post pictures at some point, when I locate them. The court still gathers, but at Sunday brunches, usuall at top floor restaurants in the more posh hotels, where champagne and caviar flow to no end. The Ta'ang Emperor is extremely genrous.
 Me Emperor 43 after Norton? No, afraid not. I do not desire the heavy burden of that mantle.  Although I did try on one of the BBB's  massive headresses once. I am afraid I pulled a "Lucy" and fell over backwards.
 I am having a much better time  being a legate. My next assingment, after my regular visit to London, will be a visit to the Ottoman court in Istanbul, which should prove most interesting. I shall bring back  rugs of much beauty and other amusing trinkets.

[Janet_W.]

Looking forward to the trinkets. Only precious stones, though . . . no semiprecious, and absolutely no wampum! As for those rugs of much beauty, please bring one in shades of red and gold as I need something for presentation a la Cleopatra.

The GD/GP "Care for a roll in the wool" Janet

[Douglas]

Just a word of caution about that carpet for the GD Janet.  She's pulled this one before.  The last time I brought her a carpet, I had to build a palace for her to put it in.  See how she works it?  It all starts with the little things.

And one more thing HRH Robert, once she requested a very rare spoon that said United Airlines on it.  Then she had to have the whole airplane for it's proper setting.

Then it was a collectors ticket from eBay for a ride on the monorail train at Disneyland in 1958.  Yep, ....you got it.     Now she owns Disneyland Istanbul. 

Tsar Douglas............all of my PCs are blocked for any eBay account. 

"Come along and listen to....the lullaby of Broadway,

The ballyhoo and hoop dee do ......." 

Remember?

I danced in that 1935 movie that Busby made at Warner Bros.    That's when I learned the meaning of the word...Gold Digger.......That was before I became Tsar of Russia.

[Douglas]

My days in the movies prepared me to be the Tsar....you never know where you'll end up.  .

[Janet_W.]

Really, T.D., I'm just an impoverished Imperial Claimant GD/GP trying to make my way in the world, that's all.

And BTW, the overhead on Disneyland Istanbul is incredible.

The GD/GP "Gotta Sing, Gotta Dance" Janet

[Robert_Hall]

Overhaed on Disneyland Istanbul? A mere trifle for  my Emperor of the  of the Imperial  City T'ang dynasty Court in Exile. He has generously offered to take if the GD/GD's hand in cash, jewels or Paypal credit. Depending upon my inspection, of course.  For my own upcoming birthday trinket,  I expect a Cunard liner.  I cannot decide between the QM2 or the Queen Victoria. Both are so comfy. Except for having to carry  all these heavy medals and orders.

[Janet_W.]

Heavy metal? Man, I dig that the most!

The Rockin' GD/GP Janet

[Robert_Hall]

Sadly, our personal staff have gone on strike and are now in labour negotiations. I normally would not bother about these things, we have other people to do that. But, I miss them and it is such a bother. Of course this delays the renovation of the Forbibben City in Exile of the T'ang Emperor. Minions are so hard to find now-a-days, it seems.
 On a much happier nore, we have choosen our abode in Istanbul. The aptly named Ottoman Imperial.  Should well suit our needs.
 You are fond of heavy medals, GD/GP  Janet? I seem to have a plethora of abundance iof Royal Thai orders and an extra collar or 2 from  Russia.
 And, I see yet another from the Imperial Court of Brazil is on the way. What joy! I shall toss it in the trunk with the others.
 Cheers all
 Lord Robert

[Douglas]

We have to understand that GD Janet does not know the difference between the words metal and medal.  She sees something about medal and it reminds her of her fling in the All Girl Metal Band and Ozzie Nelson.  After that she went gaga over that metal band called the Beatles with Chubby Checker and the rest is history or rather herstory. 

I do understand that HRH Robert is  so heavily burdened with these orders and attached  ribbons.  Myself, I just use them to tie back the curtains in the shower and elsewhere.  We waste nothing around the palace.  As for the extra ribbons, we sew them into one long rope and attach it to the bell that calls the minions and maids. Oh, did I mention that Robert looks all cool in his Speedos with 52 medals dangling from his royal neck.  It's the fashion rage in Beijing last week. 

Did anyone notice that he used a '2' in his last imperial posting?  Really, is this au currant royal style internet speak?  I guess so, I have to keep up with the kids these last days of summer. So I guess I just have to say ,  "yo, home dawg, be quizzle fo' shizzle ma nizzle, i'm tryin' to be cool homie." 


Tsar Douglas.............I hear GD Anna fainted when she entered the Mauve Salon at the Alexander Palace.   Seems that the Empress's old bottle of lavender had spilled and the fumes did overcome her sensitive nature.  Or....was this just Anna Banana Drama?

[Robert_Hall]

Quell domage, alas, we are beferft of minions and maids.  We are forced to  provide meals for the Imperias cats now.  What shall the loverlies have for their brekkies?  Caviar or cracked crab?  For  din-din  this evening, it certainly is lobster, as I have ordered it delivered. AND, we are forced to arrange our own packing, withouth the assistance of our beloved  lackeys, who, we insist are paid a very generous wage with even more generous benefits, being an old labour activist myself, years ago.    So we are reduced to just 6 travel trunks!  How humiliating and who is going to carying all of this  now? Well, at least departure is not set for 2 months from now, so we have time to negotiate a settlemnt to  the satisfaction of all.  The Emperor T'ang, in exile has fled to his secret palace and the Imperial Court of San Francisco has moved yet again to a mysterious bar in the hinterlands, leaving  only me to deal withe the surly mobs.  Oh, the burdens we bear... When we see the pikes & trundles approaching, we are out of here as well, for sure!!
 

[Janet_W.]

Dear dear T.D.--

Of course you had to bring up that unfortunate episode in which Junior jilted me at the altar after a long courtship during my all-girl band days. Sigh. Soooo yesterday, T.D.

And actually, 'twas I who got Pat Boone interested in heavy metal. Just one of my many contributions to society.

But at this point I'm into something entirely new . . . I am in process of becoming the first GD/GP Elvis impersonator. Yes, we GD/GPs try all sorts of things to survive, and so eventually you knew, I am sure, it would come to this. But actually I do have an exclusive desert hotel engagement . . . no, not Vegas, but what I'm sure is a stepping stone to that fabled Nevadan Oz. Ever heard of Brawley? It's just a matter of weeks before my entourage and I open there. Have been practicing my sneer for weeks. So really must run; I have a fitting for blue suede shoes and a white fringed jumpsuit within the hour, plus my Tsarkoe Mafia and I are due at the studio this evening to cut our own version of Jailhouse Rock.

Taking Care of Business, I remain

The GD/GP "So Real You'd Think She's Elvis" Janet

 

[Robert_Hall]

Ah, yes, charming Brawley. We were in  short term exile there once, years ago.  Although I admit the locals were not terribly receptive, we were, however out of reach  California law enforcemnt. Very fortuitous.  But, I must say, yet another female Elvis impersonator?  Even a GD/GP?  In any case, if you need some rhinestones, I have some  spare form the Liberace collection. We did have blue suede platform shoes at one time, but we had them dyed magenta and subsequently  gave them to  the homeless.. one never knows, perhaps they came in handy? All we have now are canary yellow [8 inch] and rasberry [about 12, I would guess.] One needes protection from nosebleeds in those things, however. I wish you luck and success in youe endeavour, however.
 And not to fret too much about failed romances. I am sure we all have our fair share of those.  One of mine, so personal I still find it difficult to share the experience, but in the cause of camaradery;  he was a  very famous and extremely sexy  rock star, British, of course. Brought to a sad. tearful end by my equally jealous but not so sexy emperor.  Quell tragique! I persued romance, nonetheless, littering the road of of life with  broken hearts and  another wing to my own palace.  Some might say there was blackmail or extortion involved, yet I maintain innocence to those charges, still.  Simply costly gifts of appreciation and affection.  At least, that is my story and I am sticking to it.  Besides, nobody can prove anything!
 Cheers, Lord Robert