The 8th Thread For Imperial Claimants

[Margarita Markovna]

No more swimming in the bathtub either, I suppose?

[Janet_W.]

Okay, who drained the water out of T.D.'s swimming bath and took away all the big fluffy towels?!  

Gosh darn it all, I had to take a swim after all that dancing and swinging from the chandelier. No more signing "It's another tequilla sunrise" either, I suppose.    

As for the imperial throne . . . to which throne do you refer, GD Anna?  8-)  Just because I'm handy with screwdrivers, drills, hacksaws and a blow torch doesn't mean that I'm the one who removed certain items of furniture. Mercy sakes alive.  

China and objects d'art? What china and objects d'art?!   :-/

[Shvibzik]

But Auntie dearest, why must we clean up?  No one will be able to tell the difference anyway...

But if we must, we must, I suppose.  Just give me a minute to summon the 16th Nanny Division.


Dictator-in-training,
Shvibzik

[Janet_W.]

Dear Darling Nieces:

I do believe Shvibzik is correct. Afterall, T.D. does tend to leave dear Tsarkoe in a terrible shambles--I vow he is the Oscar Madison of the Imperial Claimant set--which may be because he pays the Tsarkoe staff such minimum wages, not to mention nada nada health coverage. Plus I've heard he shoots the occasional TV set, in emulation of another legendary royal, the late Elvis the King. Perhaps if we all chipped in and bought T.D. a Big Screen he'd stop such shennanigans? And it might go a long way toward keeping the peace as well: a Big Screen could serve as sort of a "thanks for letting us use the facilities" gift.  I await your reply with baited breath.

Your Doting Auntie GD/GP Janet, temporarily foregoing mouthwash

[anna]

GD Janet dearie,

Da da how very ingenious, put T.D before a big screen and he won't notice you took half our household away including the Cossacks! But you haven't a clue were my blings are..........nana na nana

You asked what china and objects d'art, well the ones we are missing dearie. Maybe you should check your butler and Madame Ex.


Anna 8-).......who doesn't miss a thing.

[Janet_W.]

All Hail His Imperial Claimant Highness Tsar Doug, once again residing within his own palace walls!

The GD/GP "I Was A Good Girl While You Were Gone" Janet

[Douglas]

Greetings one and all :  

I am finally back between the warm soft sheets of home.  Whilst away I was updated with every moderne convenience under the imperial sun.   I hardly recognize the old place.

The GD's and my loyal  family have dug deep into their pockets and really spruced up the place.  The last time we were looking this clean was when  Douglas Fairbanks and Mary were visiting us during their gala round the world tour.

Take care,

Tsar Doug

[Janet_W.]

Ah yes, those were the days, T.D.  You striding about the place in your puttees, drop kicking Erich Von Stroheim into the imperial pool, me racing chariots with Ramon Navarro. And both of us being taught by Charlot how to swing our canes and wiggle our little fake mustaches. (Well, yours was fake.) Those were the days. After the monkey funeral at Norma Desmond's place, I swear it just went all downhill.  

Speaking of downhill, I'm glad you've noticed how very clean and tidy your Neu Palis is.  We all saw fit to chip in for movers (big husky guys driving around in a "Starving Cossaks" van ) who helped streamline your place of all that old-fashioned gold and silver and diamonds and malachite, and in their place install chrome railings, tagboard bookcases, beanbag chairs and black lacquer tables. It's the new minimalist look. Hope you like it!  

The Ready-to-Go-Gamble-My-Gotten-Gains-At-Monte-Carlo GD/GP Janet

[Margarita Markovna]

Tsar Doug! You're back! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

[Douglas]

Dearest Imperials and Cousins:

It was so nice for the GD Anna to send me a huge get well card with the green frogs all over it.  It reminded me of the green frogs that are in a our lake here in Tsarskoe.   Even the little prince brought some of the frogs inside the palace and they ran all over the place and the Rex had a good time trying to catch them.

Tsar Doug......in frog heaven 8-)

[Janet_W.]

Green frogs, T.D.? Then I will not hesitate any longer in sending my get-well hologram which features Pink Elephants on Parade.

But please please please do not believe you can fly simply by holding a magic feather, okay? I'm afraid that only works in the movies.

Running to Catch the Casey Junior, I Remain

Your 6 Foot Tall (but certainly not Elephantine) GD/GP Janet

[Margarita Markovna]

Fellow claimants! Where have you gone?

[Douglas]

Dearest Ritka:

We're all right here as usual.    I am on vacation, Anna went to take the mineral waters at Baden Baden, Janet has moved up the corporate ladder and has an important Imperial position and Lucien will be taking a job with Vatican City as art historian  and financial officer for the Pope.

Tsar Doug

[Margarita Markovna]

Ah...it's getting so quiet for those of us who have to stay here at Ts.S. and study...

[Janet_W.]

Well fear not, Darling Ritka, for I have returned.

Yes, it is true that I was moving up the corporate ladder. Unfortunately, I missed a rung and fell. Fortunately, I fell on something extremely soft. But (an apt conjunction) I'm really none the worse for wear although admittedly bored due to my current unemployment status. After sending out out tons of cover letters and resumes and collecting my Imperial Claimant unemployment checks, what's a Grand Duchess/Grand Princess to do?

Auntie GD/GP Janet