A Fatal Passion: The Story of Victoria Melita

[imperial angel]

Ducky is hard to understand, but she was tragic by nature if not in the sense she didn't survive the revolution. She was beautiful, in off beat way, and perhaps by the standards of another age than ours, and perhaps more in real life too. I think she was sensitive and didn't try to be something that she wasn't, she suffered more because of her sensitvity. She knew she wasn't the right wife for Ernest, nor the right figure to be Grand Duchess of Hesse. She mighr not have fulfilled her role well, but if she knew it wasn't right for her and got out of it. You have to applaud that. Despite being royalty, she was not the type to tolerate an arranged marriage, perhaps because she was sensitive, so she fought her way out of it. That's a bit like Princess Diana in a way.

[Eric_Lowe]

She was in a stronger positionr than Diana. Ducky was born royal and had good royal connections and in the end got accepted into Russia eventually. Diana was only a "populist Princess" (Like Caroline of Brunswick).

[Robert_Hall]

Much like Grace Kelley ?

[Eric_Lowe]

Yes Diana and Grace were like outsiders. That's why they got along so well.

Ducky was more of a fighter. She knew Ernie since childhood and liked him...but that did not make him husband material for her. When things got wrong, Marie Coburg stood firmly at her corner (everntually got a priest to marry her to Kyrill). 

[imperial angel]

Yes, I don't think Ducky and Diana had that much in common as personalities. I was only remarking that the way they got out of their marriages was perhaps a bit similar, if that. Both sought of fought their way out of their marriages as it were, royal marriages that didn't suit them, and had been largely arranged. Apart from that, they had little in common.

[Eric_Lowe]

Ducky already had marriage in mind when she got togather with Kyrill, while Diana played around. A bit like Luise of Tuscany...Her main saving grace was her charity work. It saved her from being another Jackie O.

[imperial angel]

Yes, that is a difference about the marriages of Ducky and Diana. Princess Diana was not another Jackie O because she wanted to reach out to people and not just concern herself with the jetset life that she could have, you are right.

[Robert_Hall]

Jackie was a mature, cultured woman who's identify was carved in marble by the assasination of her husband.  She could do nothing to change that. Essentially, she was very private and certainly not a "jet-setter". Her "causes" were more cultural and unheralded [museums, theatre, litterature] I think she was in a class of her own. No comparison to Diana, Grace, Wallis and partcularly VM  who all sought "recognition" of some sort.
 Whereas VM married first for duty and second for "love" Jackie's  marriages were the opposite. First for "love" and second for "duty", i.e. security for herself and her children.
Even her death was a classy affair, conducted in private [despite heavy media coverage] and with great dignity.

[imperial angel]

I admit I don't know that much about Jackie. I just think Victoria Melita was interesting, a strong brave woman who stood up for what she wanted, and didn't care what it took to get out of situitations that weren't right for her, like her first marriage. And as for Princess Diana, she was someone who used her own suffering in her life and especially marriage and transformed that into empathy for others through her charity work. Now we should get back to Victoria Melita.

[Eric_Lowe]

I think Jackie married for security and love of luxury. Her shopping sprees in New York was legendary. She did join the "jet set" ( the set with Biana Jagger, Liz taylor , Andy Wahol, Lisa Menellii) in New York and the "horsey set" in New England. However one must remember Jackie was born poor (the money came from her mother's second marriage), and marrying rich is her only ticket up. Read more books on the life of Jack it will help to understand her complex personality well. Although one must admire her keeping the secrets...and reponsible for creating the myth of Camelot.

Back to Ducky. She was born rich (her mother's aponage included an income for her, so she wasn't strapping for cash like Jackie or Diana) and had an indepedent thought (unlike women at that time. She entered a marriage in good faith (though with some misgivings) but found out that they were very different. It would have been unthinkable for her to live a lie and she bravely faced hostility in divorce (where Ernie got most of the sympathy) and remarriage (condemation from relatives and exile). She could bear anything but a lie, and when she found out that Kyrilled had strayed...it finished her off (can't face their life togather was based on a lie).

[TampaBay]

She could bear anything but a lie, and when she found out that Kyrilled had strayed...it finished her off (can't face their life togather was based on a lie).

Are we sure that is what happened?

TampaBay

[Eric_Lowe]

According from sources Ducky heard something like that...after the incident, Missy wrote "she began to die by inches...She was the most unforgiving of all.". According to Missy's daughter Ileana, Baby Bee was the most logical and less sentimental. It must be pretty intense for a brave lady like Ducky to lose the will to live...

[imperial angel]

I don't think that Ducky would be affected by something that was trivial in her second marriage so strongly, although she did take things seriously, of course. To her, straying, which other royal women accepted as part of arranged, royal marriages, was to her inacceptable. She would have taken this as seriously as we know she took this issue although we don't know what it was about. Kyril wasn't doing anything that would have bothered most royal wives, and it makes sense that that is what he must have done, based on all we know and Ducky's reaction to it.

[Robert_Hall]

Although I do not have a great deal of sympathy for any of the Romanovs, I can understand why she was so upset about such a thing. Consider what she put herself through to marry the guy. Then staying with him through the revolution and exile. I would be regally annoyed as well.

[imperial angel]

Yes, one can understand how she felt. She was a passionate person, amd had strong feelings about things, and had gone through much to be with Kyril, and one can't blame her.