A Fatal Passion: The Story of Victoria Melita

[Eric_Lowe]

Indeed ! That why I like her. She loves strongly and hate wiuth as much force (in sentiment she was quite similar to Alicky). It is a case of 2 person (Ducky & Alicky) both with strong likes and dislikes that couldn't stand each other. However having said that, they did got along fine when she was Ernie's wife. It was Ducky's divorce and remarriage that drove them appart. I think it is due to taking sides in a dispute. 

[ilyala]

i'm sorry but i can see many differences between alix and ducky. and i certainly prefer ducky out of the two of them. you never hear of ducky interfearing in Hesse's business with ernie, she did her duty as kyrill's wife without pushing him, just supporting him. she was a serious person, yes, but not depressed as alix. she suffered just as much but stood up and faced it all instead of endlessly lamenting about how her life sucks.

[Robert_Hall]

Yes, Alexandra was a neurotic mess compared to VM, who was self confident, determined and  rather successful in her endeavours.

[Eric_Lowe]

Yet Ducky also had her frustrations and took to long rides on horseback. Her reputation as a susscessful woman was scoffed at in Berlin, where she was viewed as trouble.

[ilyala]

i'm not talking about how she was viewed. i'm talking about how she was, or how i think she was since i've never met her personally. but the facts speak for themselves: she had a louzy marriage and she dealed with it and she faced all the stones thrown at her when she divorced. yes, it was ugly, but she did the right thing and she had the guts to do it. it took a long time for her marriage to kyrill to be recognized by she stood by it and maintained her decision because she knew that was the right thing for her (and even taking in consideration her last dissappointment i still think the long years of happy marriage were worth it). the revolution came, she was stripped penniless but she stood by her husband and children and they overcame all that and, yes, i believe that ducky's strength of character had an important role in how the family came out of the whole thing. her husband decided to play tsar - i'm sure she must have realized how useless it was since there was no chance of any tsar ever again in russia - she stood by him and she was a great support to him, rather than continuously nagging him and everyone around her 'oh dear, my daughter died in 1903, remember?  oh dear, i had to face a divorce and years of misery, why can't anyone sympthize with me?' etc. etc. insert sobs

[TampaBay]

Yet Ducky also had her frustrations and took to long rides on horseback. Her reputation as a susscessful woman was scoffed at in Berlin, where she was viewed as trouble.

Funny you should say this because both Vicky and Willy thought very highly of Ducky.

TampaBay

[Eric_Lowe]

Yes...Ducky was all that but what did that led her, When it was reveiled to her that Kyrill had someone on the side, she instantly crumbled. Her strength was the love she had for KyrilL (Missy once said that her sister was attracted to lost causes). When that ended she couldn't forgive him (for treating her thus) and herself (for standing by him). Ducky struggled a few more years for the love of her children...It was tragic !  I need a good cry too...That cad Kyrill...However had Ducky turn othe other cheek, her life may have ended less tragic. She was indeed "the most unforgiving of us all".

As for her repuation, When Sandra had her affair during the war, Marie Coburg was afraid that it might get to Berlin ( she said ALL her daughters reputation was hardly spotless and being dragged through the mud). When Missy protests, her mother said she knew of ALL her affairs and where they happen.Thanks to Charley "The Brat", Missy was notorious...

[Eddie_uk]

Its interesting, of all Queen Victorias grandchildren Ducky is the only one I know of who criticised her grandmother in later life. I know she blamed her for her first marriage but I always felt that was a bit much!!

[TampaBay]

When Missy protests, her mother said she knew of ALL her affairs and where they happen.Thanks to Charley "The Brat", Missy was notorious...

Missy would have been notorious even if Charley never existed.

TampaBay

P.S. Which is why Missy is my favorite Royal of all time!!!

[Eddie_uk]

Yes Charly was a very devious wasn't she!! I think she was jealous of Missy!! She obviously was not a happy person.

[TampaBay]

Ducky "worked" her life away to create a perfect world on her terms she could live in.

Missy "worked" her life away creating a perfect life on her terms she could live with.

I think my above statment says much about the difference between the two sisters' outlook and the way they approached their obstacles.

TampaBay

[Eric_Lowe]

Ducky didn't critize her grandmother for pushing her into the marriage with Ernie. She went in with the best of intentions. They were competable as friends, chums and even holding a party togather (their parties in Darmstadt were known to be fun and innovative). However unlike Ernie, Ducky also had a serious side that was passionate and needed to be respond in kind. Happy-go-lucky Ernie just did not have the depth for his wife's idealistic longings for a grand passion. Certainly Ernie was artistic, but he was more appreciate of the forms than an originator of the substance. So Ducky kept hoping for something from Ernie that he wasn't able to respond. It created a kind of frustration that took a toll in their marriage. 

[ilyala]

Yes...Ducky was all that but what did that led her, When it was reveiled to her that Kyrill had someone on the side, she instantly crumbled. Her strength was the love she had for KyrilL (Missy once said that her sister was attracted to lost causes). When that ended she couldn't forgive him (for treating her thus) and herself (for standing by him). Ducky struggled a few more years for the love of her children...It was tragic !  I need a good cry too...That cad Kyrill...However had Ducky turn othe other cheek, her life may have ended less tragic. She was indeed "the most unforgiving of us all".

well, i am of the (maybe unusual) opinion that in the end it was all worth it. it ended badly but she had 20some years of happy marriage. ok, so it ended badly but had she not married kyrill (and even stayed with ernie) she would have had 20 some years of misery. because she was not one to actually accept and feel good in a bad situation. so, 20 years of misery against 20 years of happiness and a  few months of misery... sorry, i still think she made the right choice.

[Eric_Lowe]

Well..YOU are not Ducky...Anyway if she was that tolerant, she could have lived a quiet life with Ernie. No she most certainly regretted it, as she went through so much and end up with that. It broke her fragile heart. Ducky was the kind of person who could not live with the least imperfection and injustice (Read Missy's memoirs again, it described Ducky so perfectly...even when she was a child).

[ilyala]

i know. but loving is losing is better than not loving at all. personal opinion.

it's like, you have the chance to travel a lot or you can stay hidden in your house all your life. yes, if you travel and you have a car crash and you die you might say 'yeah it would have been better had i been in the house now' but had you been in the house you would have just stayed there and waited to die (at a much later age, obviously). if you think it's best to do nothing but live longer, it's your personal opinion, but i think that if you've done nothign you haven't lived at all.