A Fatal Passion: The Story of Victoria Melita

[Eric_Lowe]

Well...It really depends. Ducky is the kind of person who questions everything. In her mind, when she found out about the affair. It could trigger the thoughts like was it true love with Kyrill, if so it shouldn't have ended up like this right ? If it is not, why am I holding on to it ? It bring back the times where they loved and worked togather. That unfortunate episode made the perfect life they had togather into a mockery. It may have been failure all along just she didn't found out before...Poor Ducky may have been tortured by such thoughts. It made her lost interest in her life and their quest as Emperor & Empress of Russia in exile. It suddenlt dawned on her that nothing is real...

[TampaBay]

There were rumors that Kyril's affair was not with a woman.

TampaBay

[Eric_Lowe]

I think that certainly would have finished Ducky off. To be married to two queens...

[imperial angel]

Ducky was someone to admire in my view. She never occupied a position as exalted as Tsarina of Russia, but if she had it might have caused her difficulties. She was said not to relate people well in Hesse- Darmstadst, when she was the wife of Ernest. This might have been a product of her unhappy marriage at the time, or it could have been her personality. Alexandra did not relate well to people in Russia, because of her personality and this caused her reputation to suffer. Bith women were also very rigid and stubborn; what they wanted they got. And this caused Alexandra difficulties in Russia especially in politics. Ducky I think was more stable; I don't think there would have been any Rasputin. But I am not sure Ducky would have made a good consort. Like Alexandra, she might have been better in private life, supporting her husband as she did in exile shows that. Alexandra I don't think could have been as much a support for Nicholas. Ducky had strength and conviction, but sometimes these things are hard to understand.

[Eric_Lowe]

I think Ducky was more open about herself and although that lay herself open for criticsm, it also bought her quite a few admirers. Alicky was the same although less transparent in her dealings. Once her mother-in-law said "I do wish Alicky would open up to me, she talked about anything under the sun but herself." It was noted that Alicky did not ont like Dagmar's domineering ways, but she would kept the resentment in her heart and did not open to resolve the problem. Ducky was different. Once Ducky heard that Dimitri harboured ambitions to take the throne (the other contender was Kyrill), she approached him and told him that she will kill him if he does. Direct, honest and to the point was Ducky's way. While Alicky was not...

[imperial angel]

I do think Ducky was more out in the open and more direct, true. She faced issues in the daylight, and didn't care if she affronted people in the process. She wasn't shy, and one of the things I admire about her is that she took things head on, never carrying what it took. She was perhaps also more aware of the consequences of things or wanted to be more aware. Alexandra was shy, and didn't know how to face things head on. Alexandra though might actually have had more charm in the traditional princess sense than Ducky. Ducky was so direct, amd so honest. Alexandra fit more with the traditional idea of royal wife in that era.

[Eric_Lowe]

The problem with Alicky was that she was ambitious and thought highly of her own abilities (Vicky saw through her in her letters to Sophie and predicted diaster when she became Empress...all came true alas !). Ducky was loyal to her man and helped her any way she can. However she was not ambitious herself (unlike her mother-in-law Michen who really was) and happy to play a supporting role. 

[imperial angel]

yes, all true! Alexandra did think highly of herself, and may not have always been realistic. I think Alexandra is easier to understand though. Ducky was so uncoventional, I think that's why sometimes people don't like her.

[Eric_Lowe]

I tend to disagree. Ducky was the easier of the two to understand. She told you if she doesn't like you in your face. Too honest for her own good really. Alicky was more evasive and tried to mask her dislike with civilities (both Missy and Dagmar were recipiants of such tactics), which never really succeeded. 

[imperial angel]

Yes, Ducky was easier to understand.I think Alexandra might have seemed easier to understand on the surface though.But both women were sometimes misunderstood by their contemporaries, and by history after that. But Ducky was very direct, very honest although not uncomplicated.

[Robert_Hall]

We are understanding that both women had personal agendas ? Alix was a paranoid control freak by today's  street physch. standards, whereas VM was just a proud woman holding her own.
 I honestly do not think that VM went into her 2nd marriage to depose Alix at all, it just happened that they crossed roads. As history happens, without their control, VM had to pick up the pieces of Alixs' disaster.
AND, try to salvage a bit of Romanov dignity.
Too sad she found  that her spouse  let her down for whatever reason.  Here she shows herself as uncompromising as Alix, does she not?

[ilyala]

We are understanding that both women had personal agendas ? Alix was a paranoid control freak by today's  street physch. standards, whereas VM was just a proud woman holding her own.
 I honestly do not think that VM went into her 2nd marriage to depose Alix at all, it just happened that they crossed roads. As history happens, without their control, VM had to pick up the pieces of Alixs' disaster.
AND, try to salvage a bit of Romanov dignity.
Too sad she found  that her spouse  let her down for whatever reason.  Here she shows herself as uncompromising as Alix, does she not?

i don't know what your view is on cheating but when you create a huge scandal by a divorce to marry the one you love, you sacrifice whatever public image you have for a marriage that you know will be hard to recognize (they were first cousins, they were forbidden to marry), then you spend your life being your husband's moral support, it's kind of hard to realize that he didn't feel the same for you. that he doesn't think you're his world the way you think he is yours. i personally would never forgive a cheating partner and i can understand why she couldn't.

[Eric_Lowe]

To Ducky it was the utimate betrayal. For such a proud woman to admit defeat, this is substantial. 

[Robert_Hall]

Cheating ? For heaven's sakes, these are Romanovs !  Simply cheating was not the problem here I suspect.  People make mistakes, are forgiven and life moves on. Betrayal must have been a more serious insult than  some toss in the whatever.  After all, VM was pretty sophisticated herself, and as has been mentioned, subject of scandal herself. I suppose we will never know just what it was that alienated her affections, but it had to be more than mere infidelity. After all, they remained married until their respective deaths. And, as far as I know, their children remained devoted to both of them.

[imperial angel]

I think in many ways Victoria Melita and Empress Alexandra were different women; both seem to inspire extremes of reaction, that's one thing they have in common. I think Ducky did show herself to be like Alexandra in her reaction to Kyril's betrayl, which we are not sure exactly what that was. But it is understandable in view of what she went through for him, and to be his wife. She was the kind of person who might take infidelity harder than the average royal wife of her era. Most women of the Imperial Family or Royalty would have not said anything, or done anything. Ducky proved herself uncoventional in getting out of her first marriage for the reasons she did, and then marrying again- perhaps that is true here as well.