Well, if you really get to know Alexandra's personality as much as you ever can through reading books about her, and through trying to see her in a human way, you realize she was far from cold and haughty. She was said to be that way by some then, but it was more gossip and rumour than much else. In public, it is true she could be seemingly cold and haughty, but it was just shyness. I suppose as well, coming back to what you observed, that on some occassions she might have been less shy than others, and seemingly more friendly, so she was being more herself.