Possible Claimant!!!

[Valmont]

Hey, Hey, Hey..  Get in line guys, I have been here since the begining, and I am the Tsar of all Russias, Tijuana & Puntazul.. All other pretenders will be sent to Coahuila Street and will be re-educated until they abandon their claims....

[Robert_Hall]

I no longer want to be Tsar.  Those yachts were the last straw! Am now exploring my claims to be be Emperor of China.  The robes are really cool and I want to open the Olympic Games!

[Douglas]

Well, your Imperial Highness Robert....have you been to a Chinatown recently?  Eaten any Chinese food in the last year?  If you answer yes, then you ARE the new and most  glorious Emperor of China and will reside in the Forbidden  City after those tourists are ask politely to vacate the place and not to come back.

Tsar Douglas........having connections in all the right places.

BTW, Robert...can you eat with chopsticks?  If not...please learn right now...today.

Let them eat Fortune cookies........................

[Robert_Hall]

Answer is yes to all of the questions.  Been to China, checked out the Forbidden City- boy does that place need some serious re-decorating!  Chopsticks- piece of cake. I live in San Francisco and London,  surrounded by Chinatowns!  Of course those are just tourist traps and post cards. Another option might be the restored Mughal of India.  The fact that I am neither Chinese nor Indian should not be too much of a detriment to my claims, don't you think?

[Janet_W.]

Ex-squeeze me?! What's all this about possible claimants?!?

Golly, it seems an Imperial Claimant can't take a summer holiday these days without SOME sort of fuss being kicked up on a neighboring thread. Geesh!

All you have to do, courtiers, is remember that yours very truly is the very modern model of a GD/GP Claimant.

And pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.

Getting back to my dascha, I remain

The Grand Duchess Grand Princess Janet

[anna]

It is getting funnier all the time.

Don't even think I come over all the way from the Imperial Claimants thread in full court dress to press a "possible claimant" to my bejeweled bossom. Once I made this mistake years ago (the woman kept all my bling and went abroad) so it is out of the question.
Though I would like to cross chopsticks with the new Emperor of China.

GD Anna....aka fortune cookie in Chinese Imperial circles.

[Russophile]

I say test her. Until the DNA comes back, she will keep up her claim and get all the noterity and "fame" that she can (possible stints on Jerry Springer, et. all. . . ).
I think that's ridiculous that her children "don't know."
Pure rubbish!

[Douglas]

Note to worry,  Emperor Robert.....I have installed a new yacht at the Forbidden city.....this one will not sink as it is made of solid marble and sits on terra firma....you can enjoy cruising on her whilst you sip your Starbucks lattes.

My dear cousins Anna and Janet will be seen nightly at the local bistro singing their new Chinese songs which will be accompanied by a flower drum and the Bells of St.Mary, with a chorus led by my old friend Bing Crosby and  Kate Smith of God Bless America fame....not to leave out Roscoe Arbuckle of silent screen fame that had a mad weekend in San Francisco back in the day. 

Tsar Douglas........making new silent films in Bejing at the Forbidden City....the hot new nightclub of ChinaTown.  China....the worlds  largest tourist trap. I have a great new idea for a theme restaurant....I call it....Polynesian Paradise ....it's has a South Seas flavor....with Tiki God statues all round......cool huh and a totally  new concept!

[Robert_Hall]

Anna, have you checked out the Space Alien Invasion thread- talk about laughs!
 Tsar Douglas, I keep meaning to join your court, but keep getting lost in the ongoing story!  Perhaps when I decide to take the throne of either China or India, I shall send an embassy.  Oh that yacht you sent.  It is at the summer palace and is a real pain to keep up. The housemaids refuse to get on the scaffolding to dust and polish the thing [workers rights, you know].

[charley]

I think the FA should move this thread to the Having Fun section, because you guys are having way to much fun!!!!
Seriously, do you all think people should stop posting articles they find on Imperial Claimants or whatever they call themselves. I think it is somewhat interesting to read about them. (No, I did not say I believed them.) What is the concensus?

[jehan]

I think the FA should move this thread to the Having Fun section, because you guys are having way to much fun!!!!
Seriously, do you all think people should stop posting articles they find on Imperial Claimants or whatever they call themselves. I think it is somewhat interesting to read about them. (No, I did not say I believed them.) What is the concensus?

Isn't discussing articles on the various claimants the point of this section?  It really does make this one of the more amusing sections of this board. 

[Valmont]

I will certainly not allow any articles about my life to be discussed here or any where else.

I already told you am the real Tsar.. What other proof do you want?

Tsar Valmont the magnificent
Tsar of all Russias, Tijuana & Puntazul
Not owner of any Lead based paint factory in China

[jehan]

I say test her. Until the DNA comes back, she will keep up her claim and get all the noterity and "fame" that she can (possible stints on Jerry Springer, et. all. . . ).
I think that's ridiculous that her children "don't know."
Pure rubbish!

But even with the DNA results, how will we know if the results are true?  They could have been switched, you know, or otherwise tampered with.  Hmph.  DNA is hardly  foolproof, you know....